Flicker of Life
by jurassicimagine
Summary: After the events at Jurassic World, Alise and Owen are left to pick up the pieces. They have a lot to figure out - they're currently homeless and jobless with a baby on the way and the emotional scars of the event run deep. They realize they don't know each other as they thought and it causes a rift in their marriage and makes things complicated.*Part 2 in the Flicker Series
1. Chapter 1

**Flicker of Life - Chapter One**

**Full Summary:**

After the events at Jurassic World, Alise and Owen are left to pick up the pieces. They have a lot to figure out - they're currently homeless and jobless with a baby on the way and the emotional scars of the event run deep. No matter what they've been through or what lies ahead, one thing's for sure: they'll get through it. Together.

Along the way, they realize that they don't know each other as well as they thought they did and they're both hiding things from each other. So the question is, will they really get through it together?

*Part 2 in the Flicker series

*Summing up what has happened in the three years after Flicker of Hope (Jurassic World) and the third book in the series, All We Are (Fallen Kingdom).

**Chapter Summary:**

Alise is still in shock about what happened at Jurassic World and Owen seems to be dealing with the aftershock in his own way. However, it's time for them to push that aside for now because they decide to elope in Costa Rica with Lowery, Lucy, Lachlan and Barry all present. Despite what's happened the day before, this is definitely the best day of both of their lives.

* * *

I woke up in an unfamiliar room as the events of yesterday came flooding in. The Indominus getting out, Owen basically almost dying, being scared shitless the entire time I watched everything go on in the control room, then the sudden relief when I finally got to him when it was all over. All followed by Owen saying we should get married like right away, wherever and whenever. I would have done it right then and there, but we had other things to worry about.

With so many people injured and not enough medical staff, Owen and I tried to help as much as we could with the recovery efforts. We finally got off the island to the mainland around midnight (with Lowery in tow, of course) and the last thing we wanted to do was look at flights out of here, so I called Lucy and asked her if we could spend the night at her apartment.

She, of course, said yes and even came to pick us up and she was with Lachlan. The whole trip to Lucy's apartment, Lachlan was talking about how insane it must have been to be there, but Owen and I were way too tired to talk about it (not to mention it was still so fresh), but Lowery indulged him and did enough talking for the both of us. Lachlan was feeling much better. Turns out he was just super dehydrated and had a viral infection that just passed.

I let out a sigh as it dawned on me that Owen and I are basically homeless and jobless with a baby on the way. Everything still felt unreal, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. This was serious.

"So, do you wanna get married today?" was the first thing out of Owen's mouth when I turned over to face him. He looked like he was wide awake and had been up for hours.

I couldn't help the smile that crossed my lips as I raised my brow. "Were you waiting for me to wake up?"

He nodded simply. "Yeah."

"Well, I would love to become Mrs. Grady today," I laughed, it would be nice to have a little bit of a distraction from the real problem that we were having.

"Okay, so let's do it," he said, springing out of bed.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa," I laughed. When he got an idea in his head, he was set. Tunnel vision. There was no deterring him from doing the thing that he wanted to, but he needed to slow down a little bit. "Can we have coffee first? And maybe some breakfast?" I asked, sitting up. "And you're awfully chipper this morning, did you sleep last night?" I asked, suspicious. He's usually only this chipper when he hasn't slept a wink and I feared that might be the case.

"Not really," he shrugged.

My face fell, "I'm sorry… was it because of-"

"-let's not talk about that right now. How about we get some breakfast and go from there." he kissed my forehead.

I nodded, "Let me take a quick shower. Do you need one too?"

"Took one when I couldn't sleep," he said. My face fell again, thinking that he probably didn't sleep because of everything that happened yesterday. It was a lot. But him not sleeping worried me a little bit. "I'll start some coffee, see if the others are up."

"Okay," I said, getting out of bed. "And be nice to Lachlan, everything goes over his head. He doesn't realize how serious it was."

"Yeah," he said through gritted teeth.

"Owen," I warned softly, looking up at him.

"I know how he is, you don't need to remind me," he said, walking over to me and kissing my lips. "I'll be nice to him. Go take your shower," he said, slapping my ass.

I laughed, "Hey, hey, no touching 'til after the wedding."

"Ah, so we're keeping that tradition," he rolled his eyes. Clearly, everything about this wedding was going to be untraditional. I was just joking anyway. He could touch all he wanted. "Just for that I should f-"

I put my hand over his mouth. "Don't even say it because I might give in. I'm gonna go before you tempt me." I said before going to my bag to search for clothes.

"Not that many can resist the Owen Grady charm."

"Well, I am one of those people," I lied with a smirk, but was confident in my answer so he wouldn't catch on that it was a complete lie. "And go make me coffee for when I come out," I ordered.

Owen laughed, "Love you too, soon to be Mrs. Grady," he said before shutting the door. I couldn't help the massive, goofy smile that was on my face. By the end of the day, I was going to be Mrs. Grady and that was like a dream.

x x x

"So, there's this beautiful waterfall, called La Paz Waterfall Garden where a bunch of people have gone to get eloped. You just set a time and they have their own marriage officiant and everything. Look at how beautiful it is!" was the first thing Lucy said as I walked down the hallway and into the kitchen. She showed me her iPad and I definitely wasn't disappointed by the view of the waterfall. She let me have it and I scrolled through the pictures. It was actually breathtaking. "I called and asked if they had any availabilities and they just so happen to have one at 4pm. It takes about an hour to get there, but I thought it'd be doable."

My stomach immediately got butterflies when she said that, but it could have also been because I haven't eaten yet, but I was leaning more towards a mixture of excitement and nervousness at the idea of getting married today - in 5 hours. "That's in 5 hours… I have to get a dress, do my hair, Owen needs a tux… and so do the boys. There's so much to do..." Now I was panicking a little and it was a good thing the boys were in the living room and didn't see this.

"And we'll get it all done," Lucy said calmly, taking the iPad from me. "If this is what you want. We'll make it happen. I promise." she assured me.

I couldn't help but smile. "It's exactly what I want," I said. I wanted to be Mrs. Grady today and for the rest of my life. I've never wanted something more in my entire life.

"I can tell because you haven't gouged my eyes out yet because you haven't had coffee yet," she laughed, stepping out of the way and motioning towards the coffee pot.

"Hey, I'm not that bad…" I said, grabbing a mug and pouring my own coffee. She just looked at me with a raised brow. "Okay, fine, I am," I admitted. She laughed and nodded with big eyes, clearly agreeing with me. "So I have to tell Owen. I'm sure he'll want Barry there. All I really want is you, Lachlan and Lowery." I said, of course, if we were home I'd have my mom, Carl, Aspen, and Lance there, but I'll take what I can get down here.

"So that makes Barry and Lachlan groomsmen and me and Lowery the bridesmaids?" she asked with a smirk.

I laughed. "You read my mind. Wonder if we'll find a dress in his size."

"Speaking of dresses, I know the perfect place to find yours. It's not a formal wedding dress shop, but I'm sure you don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a dress, but it's a cute little boutique. I set up an appointment for an hour from now and it's 20 minutes away, you think that's enough time?" she asked.

I nodded, taking a sip of the coffee. "Wow, you're really making this as painless as possible for me. You're honestly the best, I don't know what I'd do without you." I said, hugging her.

"Of course, it's not every day your best friend gets eloped after a dinosaur almost killed their fiancée." she chuckled, then froze. "Is it too soon?" she asked, her skin flushing, clearly worried that the joke wouldn't be received the way she intended.

"No, it's kinda funny," I laughed, then thought. "So I have to tell Owen and make sure it's all okay with him."

"I already did. He talked to Barry, too. He's coming."

"Wow, you are a miracle worker. My little fairy godmother." I smiled, blowing on my coffee and taking a sip.

She hummed, smiling. "I also booked a honeymoon suite Hotel Villa Caletas because I figured you and Owen would want some privacy."

"Are you kidding me? Isn't that hotel like impossible to get into?" I asked in shock. That was one of the nicest hotels in Jaco and people book months in advance, especially the honeymoon suite.

"I have my ways. Consider it a wedding gift. I just want you to have a perfect day." she smiled back.

"With everything you've done and the fact that I'm marrying the love of my life, I know it will be. Thank you." I said, hugging her again.

God, what did I ever do to get a friend like her?

x x x

An hour later, we were at the boutique and looking at all the dresses. I wasn't the type to try on a bunch of dresses. I mean, I never even try on clothes at stores, I usually just buy it and hope it fits. We were also on a time crunch, so I didn't have time to be trying on a bunch of dresses.

The dress consultant, Maria, asked for the type of dress I was looking for and all I really knew was that I wanted something that was a light color and it didn't have to be white. I didn't want anything too long or extravagant looking, something cute and simple. Also, I had a 100 dollar limit, there was no way I was paying more for a dress I was only going to be in for half a day. (Because we all know the second we get to the hotel, it's coming right off).

There wasn't a huge selection of dresses and most of them were dresses someone would wear to prom. I tried on a couple of dresses, but they were a hard no. I lost hope in finding a dress after a half an hour passed, but I finally found one that caught my eye.

I tried it on and looked at myself in the mirror. Maria described it as a light purple a-line v-neck knee-length chiffon cocktail dress with beading on the top part. It was absolutely beautiful. I looked over at Lucy, who had tears in her eyes as she was covering her mouth.

"It's the one?" she asked. I nodded.

"It's definitely the one," I said, taking another look at myself in the mirror. Yup, definitely the one.

x x x

After that, Lucy and I went back to her apartment so we could both get ready. She didn't need to get a dress because she already had one to wear that was a maroon color with lace detailing, it was perfect. It was nearing 1pm, so we had to be out of the house in about an hour and a half, which was definitely enough time to get ready.

While I was getting my dress, the boys were going to get tuxedos, or at least that's what they said they were doing. I wondered if Owen would show up in board shorts, but hell, I wouldn't even care to be honest. I just wanted to marry him, we could be in our bathing suits for all I care.

"Did you tell your parents? I mean - mom and stepdad..." Lucy asked as she wrapped a section of my hair around a curling iron. We decided I'd go for a half up, half down look with loose curls. She was pretty good at doing hair and already had her hair done in a braid going around her head like a halo with a few pieces framing her face perfectly.

"Parent's are fine. Carl is basically like the dad I never had and no way. I had to swear Lowery to secrecy and I know he didn't tell them because I haven't gotten a call from my mom yet," I said. I had to call them earlier to let them know I was okay and all I said was that we were staying in Costa Rica with Lucy before we figure out what we were doing and that I'd call them when we had a plan. Of course, they said we could come stay with them, which is probably what we were going to do, but that's something I had to talk to Owen about tomorrow. "I didn't even tell Aspen when I talked to her earlier… God, she's going to kill me…"

Lucy laughed, "Well, just focus on today and you'll worry about all of that tomorrow. Today is your day." she smiled.

I smiled too, then thought about what the boys could be up to. "I wonder if the boys found their tux's yet, or if they even got to the shop yet," I said, pulling out my phone. "And I also wonder if they've killed each other yet."

"Knowing them, Lachlan has probably already driven Owen up the wall." Lucy laughed. Owen and Lachlan didn't really get on well. I mean, they're civil and everything and Owen has to deal with him because he's my friend, but he's probably the last person he wants to hang out with without me there.

"So will Lowery. At least he has Barry to keep him sane." I said.

"Hopefully. Lachlan did say 'we have 3 hours to squeeze in a bachelor party and get a tux, this is awesome!' before they left." she laughed. I was in the bathroom throwing up (damn morning sickness) when they left, so I'm bummed I missed that.

I laughed, "Man, I wish I could have seen the look on Owen's face."

"Oh, it was priceless." Lucy laughed again. I smiled as I scrolled through my Instagram feed. "You nervous?" she asked after a few quiet minutes.

I sighed, "I mean, I have butterflies in my stomach, but I don't know if it's actually nervousness, maybe more of excitement. I mean, I'm going to become Mrs. Grady, it doesn't get any better than that!"

"You two are so perfect together."

"What about you and Lachlan? Any wedding bells in your future?" I asked.

Lucy flushed and laughed nervously, "Let's just focus on you and Owen today, okay?"

I laughed, "Yeah, for today. Tomorrow's a new day." I smirked.

She just hummed as she finished spraying my hair with hair spray. "Fini!" she smiled, holding up a mirror so I could see the back of it.

"It's perfect! It'll look so good with the dress!" I exclaimed.

"It will!" Lucy smiled, marveling at her work. "And we should get that on now because it's actually time to go!" she said, bringing the dress over. I took a look at the dress and my eyes widened and I covered my mouth as I ran to the bathroom. I barely made it to the toilet before I threw up. I heard Lucy's footsteps come rushing after me. "Are you okay?!" she asked, quickly grabbing my hair and holding it back.

"Yeah," I let out a sigh once I was finished and flushed the toilet.

"Are you not feeling well? Were you not feeling well earlier and you just didn't say anything?" she asked as I rinsed my mouth out with the mouth wash she had on the counter, knowing she wouldn't mind if I took some.

"No, I'm fine… I'm not really supposed to tell anyone yet, but I'm pregnant." I confessed.

"No way! That's great, Alise! I mean, it is, isn't it?" she asked.

"Totally. It's amazing, actually. I just found out a week ago," I said, then I thought. "We're not getting married just because of it…"

"I know, you two love each other more than anything," Lucy smiled at me. "Are you feeling better? Want to change into your dress?" she asked. I nodded. She brought it over and I put it on and looked at myself in the mirror.

"You look beautiful. Stunning. Marvelous. Amazing." Lucy said with a grin.

"Keep 'em comin', I'm enjoying all of the compliments," I laughed.

"I'll keep telling you how beautiful you are on the way there. You ready?" she asked.

I let out a breath and looked at myself one last time, letting it actually sink in. This was finally happening. "Yes. I'm so ready."

x x x

I had butterflies in my stomach the entire drive and the butterflies lingered when I was walking down the stone path, the sound of the rushing waterfall filling my ears the closer I got. I was just hoping I didn't throw up. Lucy looked back at me and squeezed my hand.

"You got this," she whispered, letting my hand go and walking ahead of me, disappearing behind the brush of trees. I took a deep breath, shaking off my nerves.

"Here we go," I whispered to myself, letting out another breath as I walked into the clearing.

I saw Owen standing with the officiant, Lucy standing to his left and Lowery, Lachlan and Barry standing to his right. They were all looking at me and I felt my cheeks burn as I walked over. Owen's mouth was hung open when I stood in front of him.

"Careful, you might start drooling," I laughed. Owen shut his mouth and chuckled softly, as the officiant made his introductions. The butterflies continued throughout the ceremony and they were at their height when the officiant told Owen to say his vows.

I smiled at him as he grabbed my hands and let out a shaky breath. His eyes were a little glossed over and it looked like he might cry. I was seconds away from crying and this would most definitely send me over the edge.

"I guess I'll start by saying that I never thought that I'd ever settle down and have kids or even get married, and then I met you and I just knew you were the one I was going to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know if I've ever said this because I know I'm not the best at sharing my feelings, but I'm so grateful that you're in my life and I thank God for that every day. I know I've made a lot of mistakes, but you aren't one of them. I promise to never break your heart because I know Lowery would try to beat me up, but probably fail," Owen chuckled, glancing over at Lowery. I smiled and we all got a chuckle out of that. "I promise I won't use all the hot water and I'll fix the water heater the first time you ask me to. I promise to love you and our baby with everything that I have. I love you so much and I always will. I'm all in." Tears were in his eyes and he was so sincere. I felt a few tears fall down my cheeks at his words, this was just so overwhelming.

"Wow... that was beautiful. I don't know how I can follow that up…" I laughed lightly, sniffling in and trying to hold back more tears of joy. "But when I met you I never imagined that a year later I'd be marrying you and having a baby with you. The past year with you has been a whirlwind... I never expected any of this, but you're the best thing that's ever happened to me. This past year has been filled with so many laughs, smiles, kisses, and tears, but I wouldn't change any of it. I'm so lucky to have met you and to have you in my life. I promise to love you with all my heart, no matter what. Even when you're being a dick, which is 90% of the time," I laughed and everyone else did too. Owen shrugged his shoulders, chuckled and nodded, agreeing with me. "I promise to be the best mother and wife that I can be. I promise to always be by your side, no matter what. I love you more than anything. And of course, I'm all in, baby."

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." the officiant said and Owen didn't hesitate to grab my face and pull me into a passionate kiss. Everyone clapped and cheered and I heard Lachlan chant 'Woot woot' and I couldn't help but laugh as we pulled away and looked at them.

"That was beautiful. Congratulations!" Lucy said, hugging me and then Owen.

"Congrats bro," Lachlan said, giving Owen a hug and patting his back. "But it's me you'll have to worry about if you break her heart, not the pansy, alright?" he said, squaring up to Owen and acting all tough.

"Seriously?!" Lowery exclaimed.

"I'll keep that in mind." Owen chuckled. I laughed, shaking my head.

"Congratulations, Mrs. Grady!" Barry said, hugging me. "What are you two going to do now?"

Owen looked at me and I raised my brows. "We have a hotel room to get to," he said and in one swift motion, he picked me up bridal style.

"I already called an Uber, enjoy your night you two!" Lucy winked.

"We will," I smirked, grabbing onto the back of Owen's neck and pulling him down into a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you too."


	2. Chapter 2

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 2**

**Summary:**

Alise and Owen are knocked off of cloud nine the day after they get married because the reality is they're homeless and jobless with a baby on the way with no plan of what comes next. Thankfully, Alise's parents insist they stay with them while they figure out a plan for the future.

*Adult themes ahead, be warned

**Authors Note:**

Someone asked if Claire was in this story, she does show up in future chapters, but this story focuses on Alise and Owen. Hope you like it!

* * *

The next morning we slept in until 10am, which is late for us - but then again, we were up almost all night if you know what I mean. We had to be out of the room by 11 and Lowery texted me this morning saying he booked a flight for us all to go back home that leaves at 4pm, so we'd have just enough time to get lunch with Lucy and Lachlan before we leave.

I had just finished reading the text when my phone lit up and Aspen was calling me. My eyes widened.

"Shit, it's Aspen," I sighed.

"Is that a bad thing?" Owen grumbled next to me, his eyes still shut.

"It's not bad, it's just that I wanted to wait until we got home to tell her, but there's no way I'm going to be able to keep it from her if I talk to her."

"So, then tell her," he shrugged, clearly not seeing how big of a deal this was. Or how big of a deal I thought this was.

"It's not that easy… she's going to kill me… but I have to tell her eventually." I said, reasoning with myself and sighing.

"Good luck with that," he said, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom. I couldn't help the smirked that crossed my lips because I got a glimpse of his naked ass. And he has a nice ass. I just wanna squeeze it. Or slap it, depends on the mood I'm in.

The phone kept vibrating in my hand and I took a breath, answering the way I normally would. "Hey Assie," I greeted her with a laugh.

"Hey Crusty," she laughed. "How are you doing?" her voice was softer and filled with concern.

"Pretty good, actually." I smiled, trying not to remember the events of yesterday as I twirled my hair around my finger.

"Really? You literally just lost everything, didn't you?" she asked, bringing me down from cloud nine. I could tell she was just thinking about it out loud, she didn't want to intentionally make me feel that way.

"Right, that," I sighed. The only thing I was able to get from the bungalow was whatever I packed into that backpack before I left for the control room and that was a change of clothes for Owen and me, a cell phone charger and a few other random things Owen put in our emergency backpack, like a compass, a flashlight, a swiss army knife, and a first aid kit.

"None of that crap doesn't matter, your life is what matters. I'm glad you're okay, Alise. I don't know what I'd do without you. You're my best friend and I love you." it wasn't very often that I'd hear Aspen get sappy and emotional like this, so I couldn't help but smile.

"Right, and since you're my best friend, that means I can tell you anything and you can't kill me for it because you love me..." I said, trailing off a little bit.

"Oh, I can still kill you for it, I'll just tell you I love you before I bludgeon you with a hammer."

"Graphic much, Ass," I laughed. She laughed too.

"Just tell me what's on your mind."

"Okay, well you know how Owen and I are engaged..."

"Yes, I know that obviously, why do you think I forgot?" she said impatiently.

I let out a breath, "Well, after our near death experience it really put stuff into perspective. We didn't want to wait to start our life together anymore-"

"-did you get married?" she cut me off.

"Maybe," I admitted, then there was silence.

"You little bitch and I wasn't even there?"

"I'm sorry Aspen, it all happened so fast. We just wanted to do it and there was a beautiful waterfall and we just did it."

"At least tell me you got pictures…"

"Of course we did!"

"Good," she said, then she went quiet. I was still unsure of what to say because I wasn't sure if she was mad or not. "Isn't the sex even better after your married? Especially on your wedding night. I remember that with Lance like it was yesterday."

"Oh my god, yes! I don't think I've ever gone as long as we did last night. I lost track of how many orgasms I had after 5," I said, right as Owen was walking back to bed. He had the biggest grin on his face and mouthed 'I'm just that good'. I laughed and threw a pillow at him.

"Good. It's what a good husband does," she laughed. "I'm happy for you, I really am, but full disclosure, I'm going to kill you when you get home."

"I wouldn't expect anything else." I smiled.

"I have a showing to do, but text me when you're coming home. And when you are home. I want to see you as soon as possible."

"So you can kill me?" I laughed.

"Exactly. I'll bring the hammer."

"Alright, love you Ass. I'll text you later."

"Love you too Crusty. Tell loverboy I said hi too."

"Will do, bye," I said before hanging up and looking over at Owen.

"You up for another round?" he flicked his brows with a smirk.

I chuckled, "Which round would this be?" I raised my brows.

"I lost count after 5," he shrugged. "'Cuz I'm just that good," he smirked.

"Oh, shut up. We have to be out of this room in 45 minutes, I'm taking a shower. If you want to have a go at it in there, then I suggest you hurry up." I said, getting out of bed and walking to the bathroom with Owen hot on my heels.

x x x

We met up with Lucy, Lachlan, and Lowery at a cafe walking distance to the airport before our flight. Barry was doing more recovery work for Jurassic World, so he couldn't make it.

"Do you know what you're gonna do now? After you get to your parent's house?" Lucy asked as she sipped on her warm tea.

"You know, we really have no idea. I mean, our lives were flipped upside down in a day and yesterday was fun, but now it's time to get back to reality. We're homeless and jobless with a baby on the way and that's really scary." I said, rubbing my stomach subconsciously as I took a sip of my decaf coffee. Which I hated, by the way. It tastes different than caffeinated coffee, but it's something I'll have to give up, for now anyway.

"Well, your parents are letting you stay with them until you figure it out, right?" she asked.

I nodded, "Thankfully, they're the best parents in the world. It just means I'm stuck with that one for god knows how long." I pointed my thumb at Lowery with a groan, who was wrapped up in his own conversation with Lachlan and Owen.

"I heard that!" he snapped, mid-sentence.

I laughed, "Well, you're a pain in my ass, so it's going to be a long… however long we're staying there for."

Lowery scowled at me, rolling his eyes as I laughed and took a bite of my bagel.

"And I hope they're still planning on letting us stay after I tell them that Owen and I are married… and that I'm pregnant."

"You still haven't told them you're pregnant?" Lucy asked, wide-eyed.

I shook my head, "Nope." I said, letting the 'p' pop. There's a lot of things I have to do when I get to Colorado. "What about you? You going to Chicago like you planned?" I asked, taking another sip of coffee.

That's what Lucy told me she was planning on doing a while ago. It was part of her five-year-plan, which she had all mapped out. I noticed Lachlan look over and look down when I said that, I never asked how it was going to work between them.

"Things are still up in the air, especially in light of everything," she said, taking a quick sip of tea as if she were avoiding talking about it. The last time I talked to her about her plan was before I found out they were dating, so maybe that plan has changed and she was skirting around it. I decided not to push it because of the side-eye I was getting from Lachlan.

"Enough talking about the future and shit. Let's talk about yesterday. Lowery was crying like a little bitch during the ceremony." Lachlan said, smirking.

"Lachlan!" Lucy said, smacking his arm.

"Hey, I was not!" Lowery defended.

"Pretty sure you were," Lachlan smirked.

"Pretty sure you were crying too, babe," Lucy mentioned, smirking at Lachlan.

"I may have shed a couple of tears, but my two best friends were getting married!" Lachlan exclaimed.

I laughed, "We were all crying like little bitches," I said and they all seemed to agree.

"Babe," Owen nudged my arm, pointing to his watch. "Time to head out." I glanced at the time on my phone, we had an hour and a half before our plane was taking off.

"We should head out now…" I said, even though I really didn't want to. I wasn't going to see Lucy or Lachlan for god knows how long and I've been used to seeing them almost every day for 9 months.

We walked outside and I was dreading saying our goodbyes, but it had to be done. I'm not going to cry though… well, I'll try not to. My eyes were swelling up already, I blame pregnancy hormones.

"Aw shit, now I'm gonna cry like a little bitch. You three amigos have a good flight." Lachlan said, pulling us all into one big hug. I laughed because I could tell Lowery and Owen weren't comfortable being smushed together like that.

"And we'll definitely keep in touch," Lucy said, grabbing onto my shoulder before pulling me into a tight hug after Lachlan finally let go of us.

"Of course we will," I smiled, hugging her tight. "You'll have to come to visit soon. Or we'll come to visit you, we'll figure something out," I said and Lucy nodded. "I'll let you know when we land," I promised, pulling away.

"Have a safe trip." Lucy smiled.

"Bye guys!" I waved. Owen and Lowery both said 'bye' and waved too before we turned around and started walking towards the airport.

"You okay?" Owen asked, putting his arm around my shoulder. He could probably sense that I was sad and he probably saw the tears forming in my eyes even though I tried looking up so they'd go away.

"Now who's crying like a little bitch," Lowery commented, he was a few strides ahead of us.

"Shut up, dick!" I said, raising my hand up to slap him, but he ran further ahead of us, but I followed him, finally hitting his back.

"I'm not sitting in between you two, you're going to drive me nuts," Owen commented.

"So, you're going to let us sit together?" I asked, my brows raised.

"Nope, I'm changing my seat," He said. I rolled my eyes and laughed.

"You're not getting away from us that easily, Owen. You're part of the family now, you'll have to get used to this." I said, smacking Lowery's arm, to which he winced and said 'ow!' followed by 'what was that for'.

"Trust me, I'm already used to it," Owen chuckled, opening the door for both of us.

x x x

The flight was 5 and a half hours and we kept ourselves busy for most of it. Lowery was playing with his new laptop he bought yesterday because the kid can't go a day without one. Owen and I watched the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie before we started reading our own books that we got from the airport kiosk. I found a book on pregnancy and I was totally going to be that person that read anything and everything about it, while Owen was reading a book he picked up called 'Lone Survivor'.

I spewed out a few facts about pregnancy, interrupting Owen's reading and he kind of just mumbled 'Is that so' without breaking his attention from the book. I knew he wasn't purposefully ignoring me, he got wrapped up in books when he was reading.

I let it go after that, letting the silence linger for a while before my mind went to what the hell we're going to be doing with our lives now since we've never actually talked about it yet. We hadn't really had time to. I glanced over at Lowery, who was passed out with his head back, mouth open and he was snoring quietly. I debated plugging up his nose to mess with him, but my thoughts were getting louder and louder.

"Babe…" I said, looking over at Owen. He hummed in response, eyes still glued to the page. "What are we going to do?" I asked, worry in my voice.

He sighed, closing the book and looking at me. "We don't have to talk about it right now."

"But when then? You keep saying that, but we have to talk about it sometime. We're homeless and jobless and we have a baby to take care of now. Not just us." I said, putting my hand on my stomach.

Owen sighed, "I know it's not just us anymore. Your mom and stepdad said we could stay a while, right?" he asked, I nodded. "Then we're not homeless. We both have plenty of money saved to keep us afloat for 4 or 5 months without draining all of our money, you can afford to take a few months off if it comes to that. I'll get a job right away, we'll make it work." he said calmly. I nodded, letting out a sigh.

"I'm just scared, Owen," I admitted.

"Don't worry, baby. We'll make it work. I promise," he said, kissing my forehead. "For us and our little baby." he rubbed my stomach and I smiled at him, believing and trusting every word he said. We have the start of a plan, we'll make it work like he said. I can stop worrying about it now - or try to at least.

x x x

We took a taxi to my mom and stepdad's house and didn't end up getting there until after midnight. We came into the house quietly, not wanting to wake up my mom and stepdad. Lowery, of course, was making a bunch of noise, knocking into shit as we walked into the house.

"Who's there?" I heard Snow's familiar voice from the living area. "Who's there?" she repeated until I flipped the light on and saw her in her cage, flapping her wings with excitement when she saw me.

"Hi girl, did you miss me?" I asked the white cockatoo as she bobbed her head as if she were nodding.

"Dickhead!" she said when Lowery walked into the room.

"I can't believe you got her to say that whenever she sees me!" Lowery exclaimed. I laughed, looking back at Snow.

"Dickhead!" she repeated.

"Yeah, hi Snow," Lowery rolled his eyes, walking past us and into the kitchen, probably to grab something to eat because he's been whining about how hungry he was the entire car ride.

"So this is the infamous Snow…" Owen said, walking over to me.

I told him we had a cockatoo, along with all of the other pets I have too, including the two German Shepherds a seven-year-old named Minnie and her son who is six months old named Dot. We also have a few goats named Ollie, Thor, and Storm (you can guess which ones I named and the one Lowery named), as well as three hens named Mocha, Sandy, and Ginger.

Owen was a little shocked when I told him all of this, but then again, I did tell him I grew up with a lot of animals. We had more at one point, but that was when Lowery and I were around to help out. That's all my mom and stepdad can handle on their own.

"You got her to call him 'dickhead'?" he asked, walking over to me. I grinned and nodded. "Was it hard?"

"Not really, I just showed her a picture of Lowery every morning for a few months and told her he was 'dickhead' and gave her a treat every time she said it. It took some perseverance, but it was totally worth it." I laughed, so did Owen. Then Snow laughed along with us, but it was a mocking laugh.

"Ah, she laughs too?"

"Yeah, she makes fun of my laugh," I said, right as she did it again. "Alright, goodnight Snow." she laughed again and I gave her a look. "Snow, it's bedtime."

"Goodnight, goodnight," she repeated.

"She's well-trained, I see," Owen said as I started walking towards the stairs.

"Yeah. She does a bedtime song-" I started to say, then I heard her whistle from her cage. "-that goes a little like that." I laughed.

"Where's your mom and stepdads room?"

"Downstairs by the kitchen. This is the bathroom," I pointed as we walked by. "That's Lowery's room," I pointed to my left. "And this is mine." I opened the door and flipped the switch on.

"Holy shit!" Owen exclaimed, I gave him a confused look and looked at him, seeing that he was looking at my lifesize cutout of Loki.

I laughed, "Oh my god, you should have seen your face!"

"I didn't know you had a cutout of him, a little warning would have been nice," he scratched the back of his head, putting his bag down.

"And risk not being able to see that face? No way," I smirked. Owen rolled his eyes. "So now you know, Loki is always watching. Even when we have sex, he'll be watching."

"No he won't be because I'll turn him around," he said, sounding a little annoyed. I just laughed and rubbed his shoulders.

"I'm kidding, babe," I kissed his cheek. "I'm gonna pee and then go to bed. I'm so tired. Plus, we have to talk to my parents tomorrow about our future plans and I have to break it to them that we're married and have a bun in the oven, so I have to be well-rested for that." I said, Owen nodded.

"That'll be fun."

"So much fun," I said sarcastically as I walked out of the room. I was nervous about talking to them tomorrow. I just hope it goes well.

x x x

The next morning, I was up by 8am and I swear I could smell the coffee brewing in the kitchen. Heightened smell is a symptom of pregnancy and would you look at that, my stomach's starting to show already just a little bit, even though it hasn't been too long. I could tell when I didn't have a shirt on and with a tight top, it's easily noticeable. Thankfully, I had some winter clothes here that I had no use for in Isla Nublar, so I put on a shirt and a cardigan.

I looked over at Owen, who was still sleeping and was snoring softly. He hasn't been sleeping much and he was tossing and turning most of the night and I knew that because he'd wake me up, so I figured I'd let him sleep and he'll come down when he's ready.

I walked into the kitchen to see my mom sitting at the island looking through a magazine, most likely Good Housekeeping or something along those lines.

"Good morning, sweetie!" she said, immediately getting up and embracing me in a tight hug. "I'm so glad you're back." she kissed my head.

I laughed, "I am too, but I wish it were different circumstances." I said, my voice falling. She nodded as she pulled away.

"I have so many questions, but I won't bombard you, especially before your morning coffee. There's some in the pot," she said, sitting back down as she took a sip of her coffee.

"That's great…" I said, clearing my throat. "I'm not really up for coffee, do you have any tea?" I asked, hoping that wouldn't sound any alarms for her.

"There are green tea packets above the fridge," she said, flipping through the magazine.

I bit my lip, that still had caffeine in it. "Do you have any decaffeinated coffee or tea by any chance?" she immediately looked up from her magazine and at me with a suspicious look. "I've been trying to cut caffeine out, Owen always tells me I drink too much and it makes me jittery." I quickly covered my tracks.

My mom raised her brows and I thought for a moment I might have given myself away, but she gave me a nod. "Carl is on me about caffeine too, but I've been drinking it for over 40 years, so his opinion means squat." she laughed. "Carl bought decaffeinated in hopes I'd drink it, it's in the pantry," she added. I nodded and walked over to grab some. "Sweetie, I really don't want to bombard you with anything, but we have a lot to talk about."

I nodded, agreeing. "Yes, we do. A lot." I said, letting out a sigh as I went to grab a mug with my left hand.

"That's a beautiful ring," she mentioned. "Can I see it?" she asked. I bit my lip and nodded, showing it to her. She grabbed my hand and examined the ring. "It's beautiful. How was the wedding?" she asked nonchalantly.

"W-what?"

"There's a wedding band on the ring, Alise. I'm surprised you didn't tell us sooner, but I had a feeling you'd get eloped. Was it a beautiful ceremony at least?" she asked. She was being oddly calm about all of this.

"It was. Lucy's going to send me pictures. I'll show them to you when she does." I smiled. She nodded, looking back down at her magazine.

"I'm glad to hear that," she smiled, looking back down at the magazine. "You know, I found a recipe for salmon and herbs with quinoa in this home cooking magazine. I was thinking of making it for dinner. How does that sound?" she asked.

Normally, I'd be up for it. Salmon is my absolute favorite, but I can't have it now since I'm pregnant. The mercury levels are too high and although I could have it twice a week, I didn't really want to risk it.

I groaned internally. "You know, I'm not really feelin' salmon tonight," I said, opening the fridge to look for some eggs. I was mustering up the courage to tell her I was pregnant, I can't skirt around it anymore. There are already too many signs that I'm giving her.

"How far along are you?" she asked simply. My eyes widened as I let the fridge close. "I'm not stupid, you know."

"I didn't say that you were, mom. I was going to tell you right before you said that actually…" I said, my mom nodded with a hum as she flipped through the magazine again. "How could you tell? Is it that obvious?"

"No coffee was a dead ringer. I just threw the salmon in there to see if my inkling was right. A mother knows when something is up with her baby. Plus, you're showing and your boobs are bigger." she said. I looked down, I didn't even realize my boobs were bigger, but now that she mentioned it, there was a bit more cleavage then I had a month ago.

"It wasn't a shotgun wedding. Like we didn't get married just because of the baby… after everything that happened on Isla Nublar… it's just, you had to of been there to understand." I knew how it looked and I don't want anyone to think we got married because of the baby, we love each other and would have done it regardless.

"You don't have to explain anything to me, you're an adult. You know what you're doing. Although I am a little hurt you didn't tell me this on the phone, I would have at least had a wedding gift waiting for you."

"Don't do that, that's exactly what we didn't want. No wedding gifts, no party, no fuss."

"That's how you've always been, even on your birthday and Christmas," she gave me a smile. "Fine, then. That just means I'll have more of a reason to spoil my grandchild, do you know what the sex is yet?"

"I don't know yet, but I'll know in a month and a half."

"Are you excited?"

"Oh, definitely. Also nervous… and a little scared to be honest." I admitted, pouring myself a cup of decaffeinated coffee when it was ready.

"I was too, all new moms are. Just wait until you see how Owen will react. He'll be even more worried, especially when you pop and start showing more. He won't let you do anything without offering his help."

"Was that how dad was?" I asked, adding a little bit of sugar in the coffee and stirring it.

"God no, your father was terrible," she let out a laugh. "Don't tell him I said that, though. You know what, actually you can tell him I said that. He was not chivalrous at all, but then again, it is your father." she rolled her eyes.

I bit my lip, looking down at my mug. "Well, I haven't really spoken to him much recently, the last time I did he said he's been busy with work. I guess it's good that things have been picking up at the shop."

"Oh, he doesn't work there anymore," she said, I raised my brows.

"Really? Then what does he do?" I asked. He's worked at the shop as a mechanic since I was a kid, so it was a little bit of a shock.

"Well, your stepfather ran into him a few weeks ago, he said he was driving cross-country on his motorcycle. In the damn winter. Can you imagine? I can't with that man. It must be nice not having any responsibilities to worry about." she scoffed, taking a sip of her coffee.

I sighed, biting my lip. My dad didn't even tell me he was making this huge decision to just quit his job? I talked to him 2 weeks ago, which meant he lied to me. Just another thing to add to the list of crap he's done to win 'worst father of the year'.

"I'm sorry, sweetie, let's talk about something else," she said, thinking. "Carl and I bought another shop in Snowmass Village. It's a wreck now, but we're going to fix it up. Carl was so excited when he heard you, Owen and Lowery were all coming to stay with us. He said Owen could help him fix it up, should he need a job. I told him that he's jumping the gun, I mean, we don't even know how long you're staying with us… but you know you're welcome to stay as long as you need. Especially since you're pregnant now and I'm going to be a grandmother." she smiled brightly.

"I'm glad that's the selling point," I laughed. "But yes, we're definitely going to take you up on that offer. We kind of have a plan, but I'll wait for Owen to get up so we can all talk about it more." I said, taking a sip of my coffee. "Also, do we have eggs?"

"You'll have to go out to the chicken coup and see if the girls have left any for us," she said. I nodded as I headed for the door. "And honey? Be careful, it's cold out there." I nodded, grabbing a jacket and bundling up before going outside to get the eggs.

That wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be… it was actually pretty painless. I'm surprised she took everything so well, but I could tell it was just her way of processing. She might get worked up about it tomorrow and we'd talk more about it then. Or maybe she was just getting more lax since I've been gone.

Now the only person to worry about is Carl and even though he's the relaxed one out of the two of them, but he can be a little protective of me, especially when it comes to men. Hopefully, he still likes Owen after we break the news to him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 3**

**Summary:**

As Christmas rolls around, Alise and Owen are lucky to have their family around and their support through everything. Lawyers contact the pair about a lawsuit claim against Masrani Global that they could benefit from a lot. Alise starts to worry about how Owen is handling everything and fears he may have PTSD, but she soon starts to realize that she has it too.

* * *

The past couple of months has been a pretty big adjustment for both me and Owen, but mostly Owen. For years he was used to living on the island in his bungalow and he was alone for the most part, up until I moved in. Now we're living with my mom and stepdad and he's not used to that. He said he hasn't lived with his parents since he was 18 and that was a long time ago.

He's been acting different, too. Which is understandable, we had a pretty traumatic experience. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he brushes it off so easily and would prefer never mentioning it again. It was hard because my way of dealing with things is much different than his. I talked about these things more openly and he was the complete opposite.

He's barely been sleeping and I can tell because his eyes have dark circles and he looks tired most of the time, but he tells me he's been sleeping just fine. When he does sleep, he's woken up in a panic on multiple occasions, skin coated with a layer of sweat.

Aspen's husband Lance is a psychiatrist (he moved here from London a few years ago and has his own practice in town) and I've talked to him about it, he says that it sounds like Owen has PTSD. He said he could get him sleeping medication to help, but I highly doubt Owen would accept it. He rarely even takes pain killers.

It was a touchy topic. I worried that if I mentioned it, he'd snap at me. Recently he's been a little more irritable than usual, but it would make sense due to his lack of sleep and night sweats. Lance said it'd take some time to adjust and of course, recommended a therapist or even him, but I doubt Owen would take him up on that offer. Lance tried to coax him into talking to him but Owen was pretty dismissive about it. Understandably so, he just met Lance a couple of months ago, he wasn't about to open up to someone he didn't know well.

Even though I was worried, I tried not to get too worked up over it. He wasn't severely depressed or anything like that, he was still going to work and helping my stepdad renovate the new shop, he'd still join us for our family dinners, even though occasionally he'd end prematurely and went to our room, complaining of a headache. He's been getting a lot of headaches recently too, it was just another symptom of his PTSD and lack of sleep.

Owen wasn't the only one having a tough time dealing with things. Lance said I had PTSD myself, but Owen's was worse, so I was pushing mine to the side and focusing more on him. My anxiety usually manifests in my dreams, like Owen, so I'd woken up on more than one occasion with nightmares. I just woke up more quietly and he didn't notice. I didn't tell Owen about my nightmares because I knew he was having his own too. I wish I could turn to him, but he was dealing with so much in his own head, how could I put that burden onto him?

I woke up one night in the middle of the night after having a nightmare. I was drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. I looked over at Owen, who was peacefully sleeping. My eyes burned and I blinked away tears that came from the fear I had in my dream. I let my breathing relax and I stared at the ceiling. I didn't want to go back to bed. I was too scared.

Instead, I got up and went downstairs to make myself a cup of calming tea. That's when I realized it was 3:45am and I groaned. I had to be up in 4 hours to go to work. I was working at my mom and Carl's first shop in town, for the time being, seeing as I was now 4 months pregnant, I didn't want to get a job in my field and then go out for maternity leave in 4 months. This job wasn't as fulfilling, but I worked here all through high school and helping my parents out was the least I could do for them letting us live with them rent-free.

I was lost in thought, waiting for the water to boil when I heard a gruff, "Hey," come from behind me.

I jumped a little, looking back at Lowery, who was headed for the fridge.

"Hey…" I said quietly.

"Can't sleep?" he asked. I shook my head, leaning against the counter with a sigh. "You have a nightmare?"

"How'd you know?" I asked, a little surprised.

"It's written all over your face, Lise. You used to get them all the time when you were a kid," he said, closing the fridge as he took string cheese and unwrapped it. I sighed. I didn't think I was that easily read. "Wanna tell me about it?"

I sighed again, looking back at the water which was about a minute away from boiling. "It's always different, but this time we were in Owen's bungalow. We were asleep in his bed and I woke up when I heard something moving around outside. Somehow I knew it was the Indominus. It peered through the bedroom window that Owen always keeps open and I was so scared. I knew it was going to kill us, but before it got the chance, I woke up." I said, pouring the hot water into a mug. "Usually it ends with it killing Owen or the baby as I watch, so I'll take this dream over those."

"Jeez, that's scary as hell," Lowery said. I nodded and shivered, just the thought of the dream put me on edge. "I get them too, you know," he said. I looked up at him. "The nightmares, not as bad as that though."

"It's just so hard. I haven't told Owen I've been having nightmares because his are always so much worse. He wakes up screaming and nearly having a panic attack. It's getting harder and harder to sleep, but I'm so exhausted. My anxiety is off the charts and I've been having panic attacks once every other day. It's hard to get out of bed in the morning sometimes because I'm so scared of what might happen during the day." I admitted. It was the first time I was saying any of this out loud to anyone.

"Well, are you depressed again?" he asked.

"Probably. Lance said I have PTSD, too. But it's not like I can take medication for it now that I'm pregnant, I just have to muddle through." I said. I've had an ongoing battle with depression and anxiety since I was a kid and I've been on and off medication for it through the years. It's different now because like I said, I'm pregnant now, so medication was a no-go.

"Maybe therapy will help too. Not that I don't mind when you talk to me about this, you know I'm always here for you when you need me."

"Yes, I know," I sighed, moving the tea bag in and out of the water and swirling it around. "I'll talk to Lance, see if he knows anyone I can talk to."

"Couldn't you just talk to Lance for free?" he chuckled.

"I mean, I could and I do sometimes, but I know way too much about his and Aspen's sex life to take him that seriously."

"I don't wanna hear about that."

"You know anything about voyeurism? He's big on that."

"Like watching other people… doing it?" Lowery said, hesitant on what to call it.

"Sex, yes. Watching other people have sex." I laughed, putting emphasis on 'sex'.

He pulled a face. "That's gross."

"Well, it's only gross to you because you think sex is gross," I said, taking a sip of my tea after blowing on it.

"I don't think it's gross, it's just gross to talk about with you."

"I don't see why. Sex is amazing," I said honestly. "It's a great way to help combat depression, actually. Maybe I should go wake Owen up and have him pump another baby into me."

"What? You're already pregnant, that doesn't make any sense!"

"Well, either way, I'm having sex tonight so you may want to sleep on the couch." I laughed, smirking as I took another sip of my tea.

"Dammit, you guys are really loud, too."

My face fell. "Okay, wow, I didn't actually realize you could hear us…."

"Our rooms are right across from each other!" he exclaimed. "And you say his name a lot," he said, biting into his cheese aggressively.

"I believe the term is moan, I moan his name a lot. And I can't help it, it's what he does to me," I said with a smirk. I just said it to see his reaction, even though it was totally true.

"I'm leaving." he said before walking out of the kitchen. I chuckled to myself, shaking my head and taking a sip of my tea. At least mine and Owen's sex life hasn't been affected by the PTSD or the pregnancy. So, I guess that was something positive to take out of it.

x x x

While I was working later that day, I got a call from a lawyer who wanted to represent me and Owen for a claim against Masrani Global. I was surprised because neither Owen or I contacted anyone about it, we haven't even spoken about the possibility of suing Masrani Global for what happened. The lawyer was very convincing and said that he could get us a lot of money for the damages, emotional distress and for the inconvenience the entire thing was. I told him I'd have to talk to Owen about it and that I'd call him back.

Owen and I talked about it and I was more for it than he was, but I figured that's because he knew all the paperwork that had to be done and we'd probably have to give our statements of the event and what not. The lawyer seemed very convinced he could get us a lot of money, we just had no idea exactly how much and I was curious to find out. Any extra money we could get would be amazing, especially with the baby on the way. It would help a lot.

We did some research on the lawyer, Chase Webster, before agreeing to meet with him. He has a pretty good reputation and seems like the real deal. He was from Colorado Springs and he actually traveled to meet us, which is a 4 and a half hour drive. We met him at a cafe down the street from my parent's house around 11am.

"So, I've been looking over your case and I think we could definitely get a million out of it," he said. My eyes widened, did he really just say a million dollars?

"That's insane. That would be perfect, especially with the baby…" I trailed off, looking at Owen.

Owen nodded, "So that's $500,000 each…"

"Oh, I mean one million each," Chase said. My jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Are you kidding me? Where are you coming up with one million each? You think they'll really go for that much?" I asked. It seemed pretty unbelievable to me.

"Well, with everything you lost and the psychological effects… especially with how close Owen was to it and you're carrying his child, that's traumatic for both of you. It put not only you and Owen at risk, but your baby. One million each is the least they could do."

"What do we have to do?" Owen asked. This probably wasn't going to be an easy process… that's a lot of money and lawsuits can carry on for years.

"We'll have to go to Masrani Global in San Diego and meet with their lawyer. Hopefully, we can come to a settlement so this won't go to court. They probably have people suing them left and right. I'm sure they won't want this to go to court, it's too much exposure. We'll set up a meeting as soon as possible." Chase said, standing up as he adjusted the blazer of his tux.

We said our goodbyes and Owen and I sat there in shock for a few minutes before finishing up our coffee - well, I finished up my hot chocolate. I've cut out caffeine completely, even decaf because that still has some caffeine in it. Needless to say, I've been a little grumpy lately.

x x x

We didn't hear back from the lawyer until a month later and the day before Christmas Eve. He said the earliest the lawyers from Masrani Global could meet was February 20th, so that's when Owen and I would go down to San Diego to meet with them. It was just a waiting game until then.

The next day we had my family's annual Christmas Eve dinner that we had every year (that I would come to before I went to the island), which included my mom, stepdad, obviously Lowery, my grandparents on my moms side, Aspen, her parents (because we've been friends since we were 5, our parents are close too), Lance and Carl's step-daughter Celia (who is a little crazy and weird - not Kira crazy, though. I don't think anyone could ever be that crazy).

Owen disappeared after dinner, when we all moved to the living area to relax, eat dessert and watch Rudolph - which was our Christmas Eve tradition. It didn't take me long to notice the Owen void, so I snuck away to go find him. The only place he couldn't really go to get alone time was our room, so I checked there first.

I opened the door slowly and could have sworn I heard the familiar sound of the chattering baby Velociraptors from the training videos Owen showed me. He was sitting at the desk on the laptop when I opened the door fully.

"How's it going? I miss you downstairs..." I said. The second he heard me, he closed out of the page and turned around.

"I was just skyping with Henry and Arlo…" he said, even though we both knew that wasn't true. I smiled at him and walked over.

"You miss them, don't you?" I asked, rubbing his back.

Owen sighed, "It's the first Christmas without them since they were born…" he said lowly, this was the most I've gotten out of him in a while. I nodded my head, encouraging him to continue as I sat on his lap. He opened his mouth to continue on, but his voice cracked. I could see his eyes glass over with tears and he groaned. "Fuck, I hate this."

"I know…" I said, pulling him into a hug as I stroked the back of his head. "It'll get better, easier… eventually."

"Yeah, eventually," he scoffed, shaking his head as he pulled away. I sighed, a little frustrated that I couldn't get any more out of him and worried that I said something wrong. "Wanna get back down to your family?" he asked, rubbing my back. He was brushing off the conversation, it was the most I've gotten him to open up and I was hoping he'd give me more, but he was getting too vulnerable and that wasn't something Owen was comfortable with.

"Will you come with me?" I asked, giving him a pouty look.

"Yeah," he said, leaning forward to peck my lips. "How's our little girl doing?" he asked, his palm on my stomach.

"She's good. She was super hungry tonight, especially for dessert, so I had to have an extra serving of pie, but whatever this little girl wants, she gets." I smiled, looking down at my belly. He chuckled and rubbed my stomach, right when I felt our little girl move and kick, right where his hand was. "Did you feel that?"

"She kicked," Owen smiled at me. It was the first time she's ever kicked, or they call it the baby's first movement, which is "quickening". "She must have enjoyed that extra dessert." he chuckled.

"I think she just knows her daddy is here," I smiled. He looked up at me and kissed my lips again, whisking me up so he was standing and holding me bridal style. "Pretty soon you won't be able to do this because I'll be blown up like a whale." I laughed.

He scoffed, "You underestimate how strong I am, you do know I do have a six-pack and bulging biceps."

"Mmm, you know what, I think I forgot... I guess you'll have to remind me," I played dumb and smirking at him. Owen smirked down at me and brought me over to the bed. We definitely weren't going down to finish Rudolph. Hope no one misses us.

x x x

The next morning I woke up around 8am, before Owen (whose sleep has been all messed up lately, he rarely wakes up with the sun anymore), and slipped on my reindeer slippers and headed downstairs in my reindeer pajamas. Lowery was already awake and making coffee in the kitchen, wearing his elf pajamas and an elf hat with a little bell on the top of it.

"Morning dork," I said, flicking the bell as I walked by him.

"Morning butt breath," he scoffed back. I rolled my eyes and grabbed a hot chocolate packet from the cabinet.

"You know, you should be nicer to me. I am carrying your little niece or nephew." I reminded him as I took out a mug. Owen and I were the only ones that knew we were having a girl, we just found out a week ago and we're going to tell my family this morning before we opened presents. I already told Aspen yesterday and swore her to secrecy.

"Why does that matter? You have butt breath. Did you even brush your teeth?"

I rolled my eyes, "Yes, I brushed my teeth. You're only smelling butt because you haven't showered in a week." I snapped back, putting the kettle on.

Lowery scoffed, "I showered last night actually."

"Really? Because it doesn't smell like it," I said, a smirk on my lips. He scowled at me, shaking his head before we both broke and started laughing. "Nah, just kidding. Love you, little brother," I said, ruffling his head. "You smell like roses."

"Really? Because I've been using your bar soap."

"Gross! Please tell me you didn't wash your balls with it!"

"Yup. Used your razor too," he smirked.

"You better be joking or I will kill you."

"I'm joking," he said, chuckling. I let out a sigh of relief. "Man, this coffee is really good," he said, taking a long sip like he was savoring it. I glared at him.

I smacked him upside the head, "Dick!" I said as he walked away, right as Owen was walking into the kitchen, giving me an amused look. "Don't look at me like that. It's not fair I can't have coffee. You know, since I can't have coffee, maybe you shouldn't either. You're the one that put a baby in me."

"I wasn't the only one involved in the making of our child," he said, grabbing a mug and pouring coffee into it, clearly not listening to anything I just said.

"Whatever, jerk," I rolled my eyes and he chuckled.

"Is that my sweets voice I hear?" my mother's voice came from the hallway as she walked into the kitchen. "Owen! Glad to see you're an early riser on Christmas, too." she stood next to him, putting her hand on his back.

"Hi mom, I am here you know," I said. She's obsessed with Owen. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy she likes him, but she's a little weird sometimes.

"I already knew you'd be up, sweetheart," she said, kissing my cheek.

"Yeah, yeah. You know, I'm starting to sense that you love Owen more than me."

"Oh honey, you know that's not true. I love all of my children equally." she rubbed my back.

"Oh, so he's your child now?" I asked, my brows raised.

"You're lucky I accept him at all. Let's not forget you did get married without me or Carl there. At least he kept the tradition and asked Carl if he could propose to you."

I looked at Owen, a little surprised. "You asked Carl if you could marry me?"

"Well, yeah. Our wedding may have been untraditional, but I stick to traditions as much as I can and seeing as I've never met your actual dad, I figured Carl would be my best option," he said, rubbing my back as he took a sip of his coffee, just as the kettle started whistling.

"Yeah, well, it's hard to pin my father down. He probably would have been like 'yeah, whatever, take my daughter'. When I told him we were engaged he just said 'That's nice baby. I've gotta get back to work' and apparently he wasn't even working at the time." I shook my head as I poured the hot water into the mug.

"I'm really sorry that your dad's such an ass, honey. The only good thing that came out of my relationship with him was you and Lowery." my mom said.

"Yeah," I said, stirring my hot chocolate. My mom just smiled at Owen before walking out of the room. I sighed. "Please promise me you'll never be a deadbeat dad. Don't make our little girl suffer the way I did with an absentee father… no matter what happens to us-" I could feel the emotion pouring through me as my eyes started to water.

"-Nothing's going to happen to us, baby. I'm all in, remember?" he said, embracing me in a hug. "I'll never hurt our baby girl the way your dad hurt you. I hate seeing how much pain you're in because of it. He was an asshole, still is. I'll never be like that. I'll never hurt you or our baby, okay?" he said, grabbing my face in his hands and staring into my eyes.

I nodded, sniffing in, not being able to stop the tears that rolled down my cheeks, that he immediately caught with his thumb and wiped away.

"I love you and the little one, more than anything," he kissed me. I closed my eyes and took in this moment. I believe every word he's said. I never see him hurting me or our little girl.

"I love you too," I pecked his lips once more before pulling away and sniffing in once more.

"What are you two doing in there?! Time to open presents!" Lowery's voice called from the living room.

I rolled my eyes, "Still a child." I grabbed my mug and Owen chuckled, following me into the living room.

"Where's Carl?" I asked as I sat down on the couch next to Lowery and Owen sitting down on my right so I was sitting in between them.

"Making sure Minnie and Dot stay in the sunroom until after we open presents," my mom said. I thought it was odd that she was keeping them in the other room because Minnie has always been out here with us while we open presents, but Dot was a little rambunctious pup, so I figure that was why. "Who's gonna be Santa's little helper this year?" my mom asked, clearly very excited to have both of her children back for Christmas, even though we weren't children anymore.

I laughed. "Maybe Lowery because he's already dressed like an elf," I said, flicking the bell on the end of his hat again. He groaned, but I ignored it as Carl walked in the room. "Okay, since you're all here, Owen and I have something we want to tell everyone," I announced, standing up and putting my mug on the coffee table.

"Before you do, can you open this present?" my mom asked, handing one to me.

"I was kind of hoping to tell you before we started opening presents…" I said. My mom gestured towards me, urging me to open it anyway. "Okay…" I said, a little confused as I took it from her. I opened it and was surprised by what I saw. "A little lamb? Just like the one I had when I was a baby…" I said, looking at the stuffed animal that was pink with purple dots, the same exact color I had. "How did you know…"

"Mother's intuition," my mom smiled at me as I showed Owen the little lamb.

"Wait, does that mean you're having a girl?" Lowery asked. I nodded and he beamed. "I'm gonna have a little niece to spoil!" Owen chuckled and I laughed as I sat down next to Owen.

"Congratulations, sweetheart. I know you two will be amazing parents." Carl smiled at us.

"Thank you," I said, not being able to help the tears in my eyes. "Damn pregnancy hormones are making me seem like a softy," I said, sniffing in and wiping the few stray tears.

"We already knew you were a softy before you got pregnant," Lowery said. I smacked him with a pillow. "Ow!"

"Shut up and go get the presents," I said. Lowery chuckled and knelt to sort through them. There wasn't much to sort through, we've never been a huge present kind of family. Even when we were kids. I noticed Carl come over and whisper something to Owen, who got up. I raised a brow at them.

"I have to get your present…" Owen said. I gave him a confused look as I watched him and Carl walk into the other room. I shrugged it off when Lowery handed me a gift bag.

"I suck at wrapping presents, but I still hope you like it anyway," he said.

I smiled, "You know I don't care…" I said, looking into the bag and pulling out a box. It said 'Mommy Survival Kit' on it and I opened it. There were different lotions, face moisturizers, face masks, sheet masks… it was basically a spa kit. "That's so thoughtful of you! I love it, thanks Low!" I said, giving him a hug.

Owen and Carl both came into the room and I could have sworn I heard a meow. I peered over the couch as saw Owen walking over with a carrying case that had a big red bow on it.

"Is that… oh my god!" I said as he came closer, setting the cat carrier on the ground and I heard all the little quiet meows. "For me?" I asked, my eyes lighting up. Owen nodded as I knelt down on the floor and opened the cage.

"It's a boy," Owen said. The little kitten that couldn't be more than 3 months old meowed as I picked him up and brought him out.

"Oh my god, he's beautiful Owen!" He was all black, apart from his feet, which were white. He had shining green eyes. "I'm gonna name him Loki," I said without hesitation, kissing his little head.

Owen chuckled, "I thought you might. That's why I got the black one with green eyes."

"I always thought he had blue eyes…" Lowery said, confused.

"It changes depending on the scenery," I said and Owen echoed me almost perfectly. I laughed and kissed Owen on the cheek.

"You two are so weird," Lowery said.

"Coming from you!" I scoffed, holding Loki up and looking at his excited face and kissing his little nose before pulling him close to my chest, smiling at how much he was purring. "This is by far the best gift ever," I said, looking at Owen.

"I'm glad you like him,"

"I love him!" I said, petting his little head and kissing it.

x x x

An hour later, after we finished unwrapping gifts and cleaning up, Owen and I were both on the floor playing with Loki. Owen bought a catnip toy and my mom cut off a piece of yarn and he was playing with that, so we were definitely going to need to go to the store tomorrow and get him more toys.

"Smell my finger!" Lowery said abruptly, walking into the room and practically shoving his finger up my nose.

"Ew, no, get that out of here!" I said, grabbing his wrist and trying to push him away, but his finger swiped my cheek. "Why the hell is your finger wet?! Did you just pick your nose?!"

Lowery laughed, "Yep. Now you have a booger on your face."

"Gross, you dick!" I said, rubbing my cheek with the sleeve of my pajamas. "I'm telling mom!" it was like we were falling back into old times. My mom may be sweet as hell, but she really knows how to put her foot down. When mom got involved, it was all over.

"No, don't do that!"

"Too late, fuckhead," I said, just as our mom walked into the room.

"Lowery, apologize to your sister and don't be gross. You're a grown man. Alise, stop calling your brother a dick and a fuckhead, that's now how I raised you," she said simply, sitting down on the loveseat across from us. She's a lot more relaxed than she used to be, but we were a handful when we were children. Hell, we still are.

I rolled my eyes, "If he wasn't such a dick and a fuckhead, then it wouldn't be a problem." I crossed my arms over my chest.

"Bitch," Lowery said under his breath.

I gave him a death glare, "What did you just-"

"Alright, both of you knock it off or go to your rooms." my mom said.

"I'm 29, you can't make me go to my room," I said, looking at her.

"Yeah, me either," Lowery said in agreement.

"Wanna bet?" she said, staring at us with an unemotional expression. That's when I got quiet and if I were a dog, my tail would be in between my legs. "Nothing like telling your adult children to behave themselves, 'ey Owen?" my mom laughed, looking at Owen, who just chuckled. "Have enough of us yet?"

"I'll put up with anything to be with Alise," he said honestly, looking at me.

"That's the answer I was looking for. Alise, he's a keeper." my mom smiled.

"I know," I looked at him and leaned in to kiss him.

Owen pulled back, "Not before you wash the booger off."

I dropped my jaw, "Are you kidding me?" I asked. Lowery and my mom both laughed. I shot Lowery a glare. "This is your fault, dick for brains." I smacked him with a pillow. Just then, Minnie ran over and started barking and tried jumping on me. She did that whenever Lowery and I would fight, she's the peacekeeper.

"Who let the dogs out?" My mom asked.

"Who, who, who, who!" Carl sang from the other room.

I raised my brows, trying to hold Minnie off with my arm as she went to start sniffing Loki. "You ready to leave yet?" I asked Owen, who was watching all of this go down with a look of amusement.

"Still not as bad as my family." he chuckled.

"Well…" I trailed off, the memories of what happened with Kira still fresh in my mind. I couldn't even say it wasn't true. "Will Kira be there when we visit?" I asked. We were leaving tomorrow to go stay with his parents in Missouri for a few days.

"She better not be. If she does, I'll run."

"And leave your pregnant wife to deal with her by herself?" I asked, my brows raised.

He shrugged, "When it comes to my family, it's every man for himself." I could tell he was joking by the smirk that he was trying to hide.

"Haha, very funny,"

"You think I'm joking now, but you'll see," he warned. I nodded and hummed, just as Loki jumped into my lap to get the yarn.

Now I was starting to wonder if I should actually be nervous to meet his family…


	4. Chapter 4

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 4**

**Summary:**

Alise and Owen go to visit Owen's family in Missouri. Alise finally gets to meet his family in person, which was a long time coming. She also finds out a secret Owen's been hiding that's connected to why he rarely talks to his dad and things don't end well.

**Adult themes ahead, be warned

* * *

I've never been one to be a nervous flyer, but call it pregnancy hormones because the whole flight to Missouri, I was antsy and anxious. Part of it could have been that I was worried about meeting Owen's family officially (Sure, I've spoken to his mom on the phone and skyped with Henry and Arlo, but that's not in person - it's completely different).

Plus, I've never spoken to his dad, who apparently, according to Owen, is a real hard-ass. Owen says he's hard to impress and always seems like he's angry at something. I gathered him and his father didn't have the best relationship when he was growing up and I still don't think they do. He rarely talks about his dad, but he talks about his uncle Theodore more than he talks about his own dad. Uncle Theo was the "cool uncle" and would always have Owen's back, especially when it came to his father.

I've spoken to Uncle Theo on the phone (when he insisted I'd call him Uncle Theo, even before Owen and I got married) and he seems like a real character. Funny as hell. We actually talked to him the other night and he said he was excited for our arrival. We were going to be staying with him because Owen refuses to stay with his parents, even though his mom offered. I tried to ask him why, but he just kind of brushed it off. As he does with many things. I'm pretty used to that by now. He requires a bit more poking and eventually he'll spill, but he won't be too happy about it.

"Are you nervous?" I asked Owen as we sat at baggage claim, waiting for our bags, well - my bag. He had a distant look in his eye, he was quieter than usual, even when I spoke to him on the plane. I noticed he was also biting at his cuticles, a dead giveaway that there was something on his mind.

"What?" he asked, completely missing what I had said.

I raised my brows. If that doesn't answer my question I don't know what does. "Are you nervous?" I repeated, this time my voice was softer.

"No," he shook his head, copping a defensive tone. "Just tired. We've been up since 3:30 this mornin' and I hate flying," he answered, sounding a little bothered by my question.

I nodded, laughing a little. "Flying makes you cranky," I said, running my fingers through his already messy hair.

He kind of just rolled out of bed this morning and put on pants, a shirt, and a jacket and we left. I, on the other hand, had to do more primping. I chopped my hair to shoulder-length a month ago and when I let it air dry it gets matted and tangled because it's so wavy. I had to at least run a brush through it.

At least the prenatal vitamins I'm taking makes my hair softer and less frizzy, so that's something to get me through the itchy stomach and achy feet. Then I remember that I'm only at the end of my first trimester, a week away from my second, so this is just the start of it. There's a hell of a lot more discomfort to come. Plus, if my weird cravings get any weirder then I don't know what I'm gonna do. Last week it was pickles and ice cream (mixed together, mind you), now it's ice cream on toast. Aspen is almost in her third trimester and she's craving dirt and charcoal and I hope that doesn't happen to me.

Owen scoffed a bit, rolling his eyes and shaking his head before getting up to grab my bag as the carousel started moving. He walked over to me, wheeling my suitcase behind him as he adjusted his backpack on his shoulders. Of course, he managed to fit everything for a 3 day stay into that damn backpack and he wouldn't let me live it down that I actually had to check a bag. It's not like it's a big bag or anything, it's just too big to carry on. Plus, I'm a woman, I have a lot more things to bring than the minimalist Owen Grady.

"What do you have in here, rocks?" he asked, clearly pretending that it was a lot heavier than it was.

"Oh, shut up. I can take it if you want. Besides, I thought you had these amazing guns and six-pack you're always flaunting, or are they just for show?" I asked, grabbing onto his bicep that was a little too big for the t-shirt he was wearing. It drove me crazy how tight he wore his shirts sometimes, it reminds me why I'm pregnant in the first place.

"I got it," he scoffed. "And they're not just for show, I can put them to good use," he said, flexing his bicep beneath my hand with a smirk.

"You know how to make all the girls swoon, Owen Grady. If I weren't already pregnant, I'd wanna make a baby with you right here, right now." I joked.

"In front of everyone?" he asked lowly, a brow raised, curious.

"Hell yeah. Gotta show everyone just how good I am." I smirked.

"Please, I'm sure the only thing they'd be looking at is my six-pack and skillful technique," he said with a smirk as we walked outside.

"And your ass. Let's not forget that," I said before slapping it, earning a gasp from an elderly woman who just so happened to be walking by, along with glares from a few onlookers. Not to mention the one woman who shielded her child's eyes. Whoops.

"Alise, I know you can't keep your hands off me, but wait until we're not in public. Then you can touch all you want," he said seriously, but I saw the smirk he was trying to hide. He loves it when I tease him like this. I laughed as he hailed over a taxi.

"Only if I can give you a handy in the taxi on the way to your uncles," I whispered in his ear, smirking as I pulled away, looking at his lips tighten. I was clearly making him squirm and I loved it. Usually, it's the other way around.

He leaned closer to my ear, "You better watch your mouth, Alise." he warned.

"Or what? You'll punish me?" I teased, rubbing my hand down his chest. This was an ongoing thing for us. I have no filter, which requires punishment from the eager Owen Grady.

"Just get in the cab," he said, handing my suitcase to the driver. "And your punishment starts the second we get to my uncles guest room." he held the door open for me with a wink and a smirk.

"Damn Owen Grady, you know how to get the girls all hot and bothered," I shook my head, getting into the cab. One thing's for sure: I'm looking forward to getting to Uncle Theo's guest room.

x x x

Since we woke up so early this morning and got to Uncle Theo's around 12:30pm, he was at work, so he left a key under the mat and went right to the bedroom and took a nap. Right after Owen took me to pound town that is. I woke up an hour and a half later to the amazing smell of coffee. I opened my eyes with a smile on my face at the thought of having a nice, steaming cup, but then I looked down at my stomach and frowned. I can't wait until I can have coffee again, but this little girl is definitely worth the no-coffee deal.

I slipped on jeans and a sweater and went downstairs. I heard two voices coming from the living area and one of them was Owen's. Then I heard Uncle Theo's animated laugh and smiled to myself as I walked into the room.

Uncle Theo looked up at me, still laughing. "Alise, darlin', nice to see you!" he said, his thick southern accent very noticeable as he stood up. I walked over and he embraced me in a hug.

"Nice to see you too! It's nice to finally meet you in person." I smiled, pulling away.

"How's the little bun cookin' in there?" he asked, putting his hand on my stomach. "Kickin' yet?"

I laughed, "Just here and there. That doesn't come more until the second trimester."

"You still gon' give me any hints as to whether it's a boy or a girl?" he asked, hopeful eyes.

I laughed, glancing at Owen. "You find out when everyone else finds out, sorry Unc." Owen answered.

"I tried," Uncle Theo chuckled and shook his head. "So how far along are ya?" he said, looking up at me, still keeping a hand on my stomach.

"12 weeks, so almost 4 months."

"Wow, you're tiny. I remember when my ex-wife was 4 months along," he said, sitting back down on the couch. "She was huge, she blew up like a balloon by her second trimester. She just woke up one morning and booo-" he said, making a noise and rubbing a huge imaginary stomach above his own. "Size of a humpback whale before she gave birth."

"I hope you didn't tell her that," I laughed.

"Oh, I did. Another thing to add to the list on why she divorced me," he chuckled, keeping the humor light. Owen and I both laughed too. "There's hot chocolate on the stove for ya darlin'. Should still be warm. If not, put it in the microwave for 30 seconds and it should be good."

I smiled, "That's so nice of you, thank you," I walked into the kitchen and found a pot of hot chocolate on the stove with a mug on the counter next to it. I poured myself a cup, overhearing random parts of their conversation as I blew on it and tasted it. It was the perfect temperature.

"So, Owen tells me you were an avid coffee drinker before the little one," Uncle Theo said as I sat next to Owen on the love seat. I nodded, right as I was in the middle of taking a sip. "Yep. That was my ex-wife, too before she became pregnant. Had at least 5 cups a day."

"That was Alise not too long ago," Owen chuckled.

"Way to just sell me out. And I wasn't that bad…" I said, Owen raised his brows at me. In my defense, I'd run on 3, maybe 4 cups a day. "Okay, I was getting there." I admitted and they both laughed.

"So what's on the agenda for the rest of the day? You goin' to see your parent's tonight?" Uncle Theo asked Owen, looking over at him.

"Not tonight," Owen said. I looked over at him, a little surprised and confused. I thought we were having dinner with them tonight, but I guess either he changed his mind or I got confused about the plans. "We're goin' up to Henry's tonight."

"You haven't seen your father, in what? 5 years?" Uncle Theo asked. Owen nodded.

I had no idea it'd been that long. He never told me it was. He talked about how he saw his mom when she came to visit the island a couple of years ago, right before we met, but I just figured his dad came along, or that Owen would have at least visited his family while he was at the island. I never asked though, so part of that was my fault.

"Yeah, about that," Owen said, putting the mug down on the table. "It's tomorrow night that I'm worried about." he admitted, picking at his cuticle again.

Tomorrow is our last night here and the whole family is getting together for a little party to celebrate mine and Owen's marriage and a baby shower all wrapped into one - his mother insisted on it. It's also when we were telling them the gender of the baby. It was Abigail's idea to do confetti cannons because that's what she and Henry did for Arlo. She's the only one out of Owen's whole family who knows we're having a girl so she could help out with the surprise.

The reason I packed for 3 days is because we're driving up to Springfield, Illinois to meet up with Lucy and Lachlan and getting a flight from there. I asked Owen if he wanted to stay with his family longer, but he was pretty content with only a couple of days and I didn't want to push it.

"Well, I'll be there, so if he tries anything, I've got your back, kid," Uncle Theo said, patting Owen's shoulder as he took a sip of coffee. Owen nodded, taking a sip of his coffee.

I was all a little surprised by this whole conversation. I didn't realize Owen needed back-up when it came to his father or that he hasn't let on that he barely talks to him. No wonder he's been trying to put off me meeting his family for so long. It makes more sense now. I just feel bad that I didn't realize sooner.

x x x

Dinner with Henry, Abigail, and Arlo was really nice. Abigail cooked us a nice home meal and it was so much different from what our family cooks. It was comfort food - mac and cheese, mashed potatoes, and fried chicken. All the stuff that made my belly and baby super happy when I finished. Oh and the apple pie! Don't even get me started on that apple pie. I had two helpings it was just that good. Blamed it on the baby, too. I've been doing that a lot recently.

By the time we were finished dinner, Henry helped Abigail clean up and do dishes before going outside with Owen to play with Arlo. It was nice to see that Henry didn't make Abigail do all the cleaning like I would have expected him to do. Maybe it's just a stereotype though because Owen has never made me clean up after dinner by myself, sometimes I was the one that left him to do it depending on how tired I was.

Abigail made some tea for the two of us and we sat down in the kitchen and started off getting to know each other more. Like where we grew up, what we were doing now, stuff like that.

"So, have you picked out a name for the little girl yet?" Abigail asked, hushing her voice in case anyone were to walk in.

I smiled, "Not yet. I've been looking up some names and mentioning them to Owen, but none of them seem right. We don't even have any possibles yet."

"Pickin' a name can be hard. They're stuck with it for the rest of their lives, you know," she sighed. "Pickin' Arlo's name was a nightmare. Henry was dismissive about everythin'."

"Must run in the family," I laughed.

"I reckon' we looked at a thousand names, then finally a week before, we were stuck between Wyatt and Arlo. The second we saw him, we knew he was an Arlo." she gushed.

I sighed. "I'm hoping it'll end up something like that." I said, taking a sip of tea.

"The second you see 'em, you just know. So don't sweat it." she said, waving her hand in the air, taking a sip of her tea.

With all the talking we were doing, I thought I could use it to my advantage and pry a little bit to see what she knows about the relationship between Owen and his father, Michael.

"So, can I ask you something about Owen?" I asked, her eyes lit up as she smiled and nodded, clearly excited to spill anything about her brother-in-law.

"What do ya want to know?"

"Well, more about Owen and his dad…" I trailed off, gauging her reaction. Her face fell and she looked down at her tea.

"I don't know much about it, Henry doesn't like to talk about it. All I know is that he hates seein' them together and tomorrow is gonna be pretty interestin'. They haven't talked in what, 5 years? We're all kind of itching to see how it'll play out." she answered.

I nodded, thinking that I was itching to see it all play out, too. "How is your relationship with him? I mean, if you don't mind me asking..."

"Michael is a very hard man to get along with, I'll leave it at that," she said, taking a sip and looking at the time. "Would ya look at that, it's half past 9. Time flies when you're havin' fun." she laughed. "I better go tell the boys, it's past Arlo's bedtime."

I nodded, unable to hold back a big yawn.

"It looks like it's bedtime for you, too. Pregnancy makin' you more tired? I slept for hours and hours when I was pregnant during the day because at night I couldn't sleep a wink. 'specially when he started kickin'."

"I know the feeling," I laughed. "But that and jet lag, even though I took a nap today I still feel exhausted."

"I'll go on and get Owen for you. It's about a 40-minute drive back to Uncle Theo's and you need to rest up while you can." she smiled at me before walking away. I smiled to myself and took a sip of tea, not able to fight the unsettled feeling in my stomach about tomorrow's party.

x x x

The next day, we hung around the house with Uncle Theo and I got to watch Owen go in full-on lumberjack mode and cut some firewood. I joked to him about how he should wear a flannel like Uncle Theo, but I loved the gray t-shirt he was wearing because it was just a little bit too tight and his biceps were bulging. Definitely didn't mind that view.

I talked to Lucy earlier while I was getting ready for the party at Henry and Abigail's house because I was nervous about meeting his dad. Lucy just told me to be myself and if he doesn't like me then screw him. Also to not get involved in their family drama because I don't want to get roped into it. Both good tidbits of advice and just what I wanted to hear. Of course, she told me to give her the full result when I saw her tomorrow.

So that talk made me feel better. Plus, it was only going to be a few hours. I'm sure Owen and his dad won't be talking most of the time anyway, although I do really wanna know what happened because something big must have happened for them not to talk. And I can sympathize and understand Owen, which I've stressed to him because my father and I don't have a good relationship either, but he told me it's different, so I took his word on that.

We got there around 5pm, when Abigail told everyone to be there. Owen's parents were nowhere in sight and Henry said they were running late. I met Owen's brother Oliver, who was very nice, but super cordial. A lot less relaxed than Henry is.

"You hear from Kira lately?" Owen said, cracking open a beer and handing one to Henry as he walked over to where me, Abigail and Henry were standing outside on the patio. I raised my brows, a little surprised Owen would even mention her. He seemed to want nothing to do with her, like ever.

"Haven't heard from her since she tried to stay with us after her parents kicked her out. She was here for a week and I was like 'no way' and kicked her out." Henry laughed.

"That's probably just about when she came down to see us." Owen said.

"Right! How did that go?!" Henry asked.

"Stayed in Alise's spare bedroom for about a month an a half before she had an outburst and Alise kicked her out." Owen said.

"I'm surprised it took a month and a half. Pretty sure she tried to stay with mom and dad, but dad was like 'fuck no' and Kira didn't fight with that." Henry laughed.

"He probably scares the shit out of her, especially after he went off on her when she was 15." Oliver chimed in, cracking open his own beer.

"Damn, I remember that! Talking about how immature she was and she needed to grow up. The look on her face was classic. Didn't know if she was going to burst into tears or start cracking up. And you do not want to laugh at dad when he's going off." Henry said.

"Hell no. Dad would have never let her get away with half the shit she'd gotten away with. She would have been in boarding school by then." Oliver said. I heard Owen scoff.

"Or a psychiatric facility." Henry added in with a smirk before taking a sip of beer.

"Henry!" Abigail grabbed his arm.

Henry chuckled, "What? You were thinkin' it!"

"Yeah, but you don't have to say it out loud, it sounds terrible." she said, rolling her eyes and taking a sip of her mixed drink.

I laughed and so did Owen, Henry, and Oliver.

"Dad's here," Oliver cleared his throat, nodding his head towards the side of the house where Owen's mom, Louisa, and his dad were walking from. Louisa had a big tray of something in her hands and Michael looked less than thrilled to be here. The laughing stopped and I could see Owen gulp.

"Well, I need to refill my drink. Alise?" Abigail said, looking over at me. I looked over at her and she nodded her head towards the kitchen. I nodded and followed her in. "Don't wanna be out there when they have their family reunion," she said, mixing her mixed drink, them pouring a shot of rum and drinking it. "Sorry, I know you can't drink…"

"No, it's fine. Drink up! If I weren't pregnant I would have supplied the tequila and then drank it all." I laughed. She laughed as I watched Louisa and Michael walked over, Louisa offering hugs and Michael offering handshakes. Just watching how awkward their interaction was making me cringe.

x x x

After the gender reveal confetti cannon, we were all sitting out on the patio around a bonfire. Everyone was just kind of talking and having a good time, the conversations were light and fun. I could tell Owen was starting to be less nervous that his father was around. His arm was draped lazily over my shoulders and I was leaning against his body.

Abigail had just left to put Arlo to bed, who was falling asleep in Henry's arms before she did. Owen's father was quiet for the most part, but when he was pulled into the conversation he was always firm and confident with what he was saying, he had a no-messing-around attitude that was really showing.

"So, tell me, honey," Louisa said, putting her hand on my knee. I looked over at her where she sat beside me and smiled. "What were you doing before that crazy dinosaur attack? How was work going?" Her southern belle accent really came out on that one. I felt Owen's grip on my shoulder tightened momentarily like he was worried about something, I figured it was the topic because he'd just rather avoid it altogether.

"Well, work was going great. I actually got promoted a couple of weeks before the incident from assistant to paleo-veterinarian and that was the goal I've had all along. Even though it was unfortunately for such a little amount of time, I still feel like I accomplished something and that's really all I could ask for at the end of the day." I nodded, feeling Owen's grip lighten as I talked.

"I'm glad you had more ambition than my son," I was surprised to hear Michael say, who I noticed was slurring his words slightly. I looked over at him, my brows furrowed as I felt Owen's hand clench into a fist before he dropped his arm from around my shoulders.

"Michael!" Louisa sounded shocked, putting her hand on his forearm.

"I actually feel sorry for you," Michael continued on, looking right at me. "You must have felt so stuck when you realized you were pregnant."

I honestly couldn't believe the way he was speaking to me about this. It made my stomach drop.

"I'm sure you didn't mean that," Louisa looked at her husband and then over to me. "He didn't mean it like that." she tried to defend him, as she probably has their whole relationship. She'd do anything to please him, to please anyone really.

"I meant it exactly the way I said it," Michael said firmly.

"Actually-" I started to say without thinking it through.

"Alise," Owen warned, putting his hand on my shoulder.

I shook my head. "No, it's fine," I told him, I was going to stick up for Owen. Nobody talked about him like that to me. I don't even care if it's his own father. "I was actually ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant because I found out I was having a baby with the man I love. And as far as his ambitions go, he was actually having a breakthrough with his raptors-"

I paused when Michael scoffed and muttered a simple: "Sure."

"Yeah, I was actually really proud of him for that. He did what no one else has ever done, you should be proud of him too." I said, this time a little louder and a little firmer, it was obvious that I was copping an attitude because now I was on the defensive. How could someone be that cruel, let alone to his own son?

"So he got some girl pregnant and had to marry her as soon as possible for the sake of a child and that's something I'm supposed to be proud of?"

Well, that was a huge slap in the face. I stared at him in shock, what the hell else was I supposed to do? I have the decency not to tell him to fuck off because he's my husband's father. I couldn't tell who would lose it first, me or Owen, because clearly, his father already has.


	5. Chapter 5

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 5**

**Summary:**

Alise and Owen catch up with Lucy and Lachlan for the first time since the incident and their wedding. Alise and Lucy realize how much has changed since the last time they saw each other and it leaves Alise worrying about how Owen's handling, especially after what happened with his father.

* * *

"Dad, you've had too much to drink," Oliver chimed in, getting up and reaching for his father's beer. I wasn't trying to keep track of how much he's been drinking, but I did notice he had a few glasses of scotch throughout the evening and was working on his second beer, so clearly he can't handle his liquor.

"No, I haven't. These are cold, hard facts. It's the truth and he needs to hear it," Michael said, looking directly at Owen. I bit my lip, looking over at Owen. Not once during this whole thing did I think about how he felt while his father was basically berating him. Owen just nodded his head, staring into the fire. I could see his jaw clench, there was probably so much going through his mind right now. I don't think he wanted to make a scene though, because usually, he'd defend himself, but something was holding him back.

"The truth is, Michael, that you have an amazing son and he's done so much in his life that you should be proud of. He did not get married to Alise for the sake of the child, they were planning on getting married before that and if you can't see the love that they share for each other than you're damn near blind," Uncle Theo spoke up. I couldn't help but smile at that, then my smile faded when Michael rolled his eyes and mumbled something as he took a sip of his beer. "Maybe if you didn't ship him off to boarding school when he was 13 and then the Navy when he was 17, you would have gotten to know him better and things might be different." he added. My face fell, I had no idea any of that happened. He told me he went to the Navy when he was 18 and made it seem like he lived with his parents up until then, but all of the pieces were coming together now... things were starting to make sense. I looked at Owen, who looked pissed. I put my hand on his knee, but he didn't move at all.

"You think that would have made a difference?" Michael spat.

Suddenly, Owen rose to his feet. "No, it wouldn't have made a goddamn difference because, in the eyes of my father, I'm not good enough. Never will be. I like where my life is right now, hell, I love it. So thank you for shippin' me off. You did me a favor. I wouldn't be where I am today. Getting away from you was the best thing that could have happened to me." I couldn't help the smile on my face as Owen stood up for himself. It was probably the first time he's done that with his dad. Michael was wide-eyed and shocked, as was everyone else. "We're done here." Owen looked at me, reaching out for my hand and pulling me up, just in time too because Michael's face turned to rage.

"You ungrateful son of a bitch-" he said as he rose to his feet. Owen squeezed my hand tight and pulled me along and into the house. I looked back, watching how Oliver, Henry and Uncle Theo had to hold Michael back and calm him down. Eventually, he stopped fighting and sat down and I turned towards Owen. If Owen didn't walk away, they could have easily gotten into a fistfight. I could tell by how hard Owen was grabbing my hand that he wanted to throw punches.

We walked out the front door and walked out towards uncle Theo's truck. Owen dropped my hand and kicked the tire with his foot. I could hear a low growl escape his throat. He grabbed onto the bed on the truck with both fists and was white-knuckling it.

"Were you holding that in since you were 13?" I asked, walking over to him slowly and putting my hand on his shoulder.

"Longer than that. He's such a fucking asshole." Owen said through gritted teeth, kicking the tire again.

"You're right, he's a dick. But I'm proud of you for sticking up for yourself…" I said, rubbing his back to try to calm him down. He let out a sigh, seeming to relax a little more into me. We stood there in silence for a few minutes and I was letting him calm down, then my stomach growled right as our princess kicked my side and I bit my lip. "So, baby…" I started to say. He raised his brows and looked at me, annoyance from what just happened still written on his face, but I'm sure he heard my stomach growl, it was pretty loud. "I did notice there's an ice cream parlor down the street..." I said, biting my lip again. I wanted to calm him down, and usually, when he gets like this I give him ice cream or a cookie or something to distract him. Or I try to at least. It works for me, but it's a hit or miss with him.

Owen raised his brows at me, his lips tight, then he let out an amused scoff. "Are you trying to calm me down with ice cream again? You know that shit doesn't work." he shook his head.

I felt the baby kick again and I put my hand on my stomach. "Well, the baby's kicking and wants some sweets, so let's go…" I said, grabbing his hand. "You think they have toast there?"

Owen scoffed, "How the hell am I supposed to know?" he asked, realizing he was copping a huge attitude after the eyebrow raise I gave him. He sighed, his voice relaxing. "Probably not."

"Maybe your uncle has some," my face lit up at the thought. Owen caved and grinned, chuckling as he shook his head. "Come on, Owen, let's go get this baby some bread." I said, grabbing his arm and pulling him along with me.

He let out a sigh and put his arm around my shoulders as I rubbed my belly. I was still a little unnerved that he never told me about his past and lied about it, but I knew it was for a good reason. He was doing it to protect himself. I just hope that's the only thing he's been hiding.

x x x

The next morning, we got up around 7am so we could drive to Springfield to meet up with Lucy and Lachlan before our flight that was leaving out of Abraham Lincoln Capital Airport at 5pm. It took a lot of convincing on my part to get Owen to go along with this plan because it was a 5-hour drive from where we were to the cafe we were meeting them in Springfield.

They couldn't come and meet us halfway because Lachlan is stationed at Camp Butler and he requested this time off and only gets a couple of hours, so a day trip isn't realistic for him. Lucy was coming down from Chicago to meet with us too, we're lucky it worked out the way it did. I wanted to jump at this chance to see them because I don't know the next time we'll be able to see each other.

Owen and I rented a car to get us there and we left around 8. He started off driving, but I could tell he was super tired because of the dark circles and bags under his eyes and his need to pull over to stop for coffee a second time. I offered to drive, but there was no way in hell that was going to happen apparently. He doesn't like letting me drive in general, but since I'm pregnant he won't let me go anywhere near the wheel. I told him I'm fine and he's being irrational, but of course, he just says 'no I'm not, I'm right'. Because Owen's always right. (Note the sarcasm). According to him, he's being "chivalrous", I call it being an ass.

By the time we finally reached the cafe, my stomach was rumbling, even though I ate eggs and toast for breakfast and had some Yodels and chips on the way there, none of that seemed to fill me up. I'm starting to realize that hungry is just going to be a new personality trait of mine for the next 5 months.

Owen and I walked into the cafe and scanned the room to see where they were. Lucy had already texted me that she was here right as we pulled into the parking lot.

"Alise, Owen, over here!" I heard Lucy's voice call over the hum of voices and soft music. I smiled and we walked over to them, Lucy stood up first to give me a hug.

"Hi Lucy!" I said excitedly, hugging her tight.

"Alise! I'm so happy to see you!" she said. I hugged and greeted Lachlan when we pulled away and Lucy went in to hug and greet Owen. "I hope the drive wasn't bad?" she asked him.

"Coffee had me goin'." Owen shrugged.

"Hey man, how's it going?" Lachlan said, reaching between me to give Owen a hug. Owen greeted him back and patted his back and they pulled apart. We ordered our food at the counter and took our seats, me across from Lucy and Owen across from Lachlan.

We caught up for a while, talking about how we've been doing and what we've been up to and of course, my pregnancy was a topic, as it is with everyone now. Understandably so.

Owen and Lachlan were the first to finish their food and Lachlan asked if he could talk to Owen outside for a minute. Owen gave me a look of concern before agreeing and going outside to talk with him.

Lucy and I shared a look and laughed. "How are you and Owen holding up with everything?" she asked. I could tell she wanted to ask it sooner, but she was holding it back because Owen was here.

"Well, you know, it was so intense…" I trailed off, trying to find the words. "It's just a lot to fathom. It's been pretty hard for me, but I feel like it's much worse for Owen…" I said, glancing outside to where the two men were talking.

"So you're worried about him?" Lucy asked.

I nodded, "Yeah, a lot." I admitted.

"That must be really hard…" she said.

I let out a sigh, not wanting to dwell on it right now. "What about you? How are you and Lachlan doing?" I asked. Things seemed to be going well, but Lucy was also a master at hiding things and Lachlan is usually too oblivious to notice when things are off.

"We're…" she paused. "Pretty good." she sighed.

I raised my brows, "That doesn't sound like a 'pretty good' kind of sigh…" I said.

"Well, we hit a rough patch after you guys left…"

"What? You didn't tell me…" I trailed off.

Lucy nodded, "I know. There was so much going on, I didn't want to bother you. Anyway, Lachlan re-enlisted in the army and was staying with me while he got all of the information. It was a hard time. I felt like we were constantly on top of each other, and that's not just because my apartment is so small… but we were getting snippy with each other. I mean, we just took huge steps in our lives, but they were apart from each other. Before the incident, I was on cloud nine with Lachlan. I thought, no, I knew, he was the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Then everything blew up and we were scrambling. It was such a relief when he was stationed here… only 3 and a half hours away from me. If it were any further, I don't think I could have done it. I was so close to losing the man that I love and it was terrifying."

I nodded, completely soaking in everything she just said. "Wow, I totally get that. During the incident, I spoke to Owen on the phone and I literally thought it was the last time I'd ever hear his voice…" I reached across the table and grabbed her hand. "Lucy, I wish you told me, it seems like you were going through a rough time. I'm always here for you, okay? I promise. No matter what."

Lucy let out a small laugh, "Even after you become a mom and forget all about little old me in Chicago?"

"No! That could never happen! You mean too much to me for me to just forget about you. I love you too much." I smiled, squeezing her hand again.

"I love you too." Lucy smiled back at me.

"Awww, now kiss!" Lachlan smirked as he walked over.

"Fuck off." I said, pretending to jab my fork into his crotch, which was right in front of me because of where he was standing.

"Shit!" he exclaimed, moving out of the way and sitting next to Lucy. "Careful with the family jewels. We need those." he said, directing the last part to Lucy.

"Ugh, gross," she pulled a face, shaking her head and taking a sip of tea.

"So, what were you two talking about out there?" I asked, looking between Lachlan and Owen with curiosity.

"Just how much we love each other." Lachlan answered with a grin. I raised my brows and looked at Owen suspiciously.

He just shrugged, "Guy talk." was all he said. Not once have I ever heard him say he was having 'guy talk'. I was about to call him out on it, but I remembered that cookies that were on the counters and that chicken salad was filling, but baby has a sweet tooth.

"Alright, I'm gonna accept that answer because baby wants a cookie." I said, giving Owen innocent eyes.

"Pecan chocolate chip?" he asked as if he were reading my mind.

I nodded, "That's the one!" I beamed, probably a little too excited for a cookie. He chuckled and shook his head as he got up.

"Oh, and get me a red velvet cupcake!" Lucy said, hoping he'd hear her still. Owen nodded his head.

"Get some whipped cream so Lucy can lick it off me!" Lachlan called after him.

"Don't scream that Lachlan!" Lucy snapped. I laughed, seeing Owen standing on line and shaking his head as Lucy smacked Lachlan's arm.

This will never get old.

x x x

By the time we got back to my parent's house, it was around 10pm and we were exhausted, so we went to bed. I fell asleep quickly, but I woke up multiple times through the night and it just wasn't a restful sleep. The first time I woke up was at midnight when I noticed Owen laying on his back, wide awake. I mumbled something to him, but I couldn't remember what it was, but he let out a soft chuckle as I fell back to sleep.

I woke up again around 1am and noticed that Owen wasn't next to me, I thought he might be in the bathroom, so I dozed back to sleep. I woke up again at 3, and Owen still wasn't next to me. I figured he probably couldn't sleep, so he could have been downstairs watching tv or something. I was too tired to get up, so I drifted back to sleep. I woke up again at 4:45 and this time Owen was sleeping next to me, snoring softly.

I turned on my back and closed my eyes, trying to go back to sleep. I laid like this for what felt like forever with no luck, so I tossed and turned on each side for a few minutes to see if that would help, but it didn't. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened the other night with Owen's dad. I wondered if that's what was keeping me up, then I felt my stomach growl and decided it was probably a mixture of that and our little girl being hungry.

I got out of bed quietly, not wanting to wake Owen up. When I got into the kitchen, I noticed Carl with his back to me, making a cup of coffee. "Morning Carl." I said, walking over to the pantry to see what snacks we had. I was really craving a granola bar.

Carl jumped, "Jeez, you scared me…" I couldn't help but chuckle, he scares easily. "What are you doing up this early?" Carl was always an early riser, so 5:30 was nothing for him.

"Couldn't really sleep," I shrugged, opening a granola bar and taking a bite.

"You think it's jetlag? Or the baby's hungry?" he chuckled at the last part.

"Probably both," I said, although I was thinking that it was mostly because of what happened with Owen's dad.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, pouring his coffee into his travel mug.

I didn't realize I was staring off into nothing until he had said something. "No… it's nothing." I shook my head.

"You know I'm here for you whenever you need to talk…" he urged.

"I know… and thank you so much for that…" I trailed off, trying to gather my thoughts. "You know my dad was never really around and you've taken me and Lowery in as your own. You're the closest thing I have to a dad and… it's just, Owen's father is just so mean to him. Really mean. I thought I had it bad... my dad was just flighty as hell, but I'd take that any day over how bad Owen's father is. It just makes me worry…" my voice fell and I shook my head, not really wanting to finish the sentence.

"Listen, there are a lot of fathers out there who don't deserve to be fathers, but if there's one thing I've learned is that you never abandon your child or make them feel worthless. I'm sorry that's what your dad did to you because you are a wonderful girl and I'm proud of you every single day. I love that you and your brother are in my life and I don't understand how someone can just throw that relationship away."

I smiled, not being able to help the tears that were welling up in my eyes. "It just makes me worried for when I become a parent…" I said, rubbing my stomach subconsciously.

"Being a parent is difficult and scary. I remember doubting myself the entire time my ex-wife was pregnant, but I knew that when I saw Celia for the first time, that I could do it. I would never hurt my little girl and I vowed to love her with all my heart. My ex-wife told me she was terrified too, but it's all a learning process. And you're lucky enough to have Owen by your side through this. You should talk to him about this, get his take. You might be surprised that he feels the same way too."

"Yeah… you're right," I let out a small sigh of relief. "Thanks Carl, you're the best." I said, hugging him.

"You're going to be a great mom, Alise," he said, squeezing me tight. I smiled, sniffling in the tears. Damn pregnancy hormones.

"Thanks." I said, pulling away right as I heard footsteps coming towards the kitchen and Owen appeared in the doorway.

"Sorry, woke up late," he said to Carl, walking over to me. "Morning babe." he kissed the side of my head. I smiled.

"No worries, I had a late start too. Think you'll be ready in 20?" Carl asked him.

Owen nodded, "Yes, sir." he said. I couldn't help but smile, calling people he respected 'sir' was always a force of habit for him.

"Drop the sir, Owen, how many times do I have to tell you that?" Carl chuckled, patting Owen's back.

"Sorry si- Carl. It's programmed into me, tough habit to kick." Owen explained.

Carl nodded, "I'll be in the den. Coffee's made." he said, pointing to the coffee pot.

"Thanks Carl," Owen said, going over to pour himself a cup as Carl smiled and walked out of the kitchen. "What are you doin' up so early?" Owen asked me.

"Couldn't sleep and baby was hungry," I said, taking another bite of my granola bar and then I yawned.

Owen chuckled, "Sounds like you could use another hour or so."

"Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Have a good day at work honey." I said, kissing his lips before walking away.

"I will. Love you baby." he said.

"Love you too!" I called back, chewing the last bite of my granola bar and letting out a sigh. I felt a lot more relieved after talking to Carl and now talking to Owen was next on the agenda and to be honest, I was freaking out about it.


	6. Chapter 6

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 6**

**Summary:**

Alise opens up to Owen about how she feels about becoming a parent and Owen's reaction surprises her. They also finally pick out a name for their little girl and they want to keep it a secret, but Alise slips up. Also, trouble arises when Alise's mom mentions Alise's ex-fiance in front of Owen and he discovers that Alise has been hiding a secret of her own.

* * *

Talking to Owen about what Carl and I talked about was weighing heavy on my mind for the rest of the day. I don't know why I was so nervous about talking to him about it, it's not like he ever shuts me down for having feelings. I just worry that he'll brush me off with how he feels because that's how it's been as of late whenever I would mention the incident or even anything related to Jurassic World or the dinosaurs. I wondered if maybe it was just the topic because we were able to talk about other things just fine. One day I'll get him to open up more about what happened and I wish I could push him to do it, but I don't want to push him away. We have to take it one day at a time.

Later that day, when Owen was back from work with Carl and we finished eating the chicken, rice, and beans that I made for us, we were sitting on the couch in the living area, watching Thor (he gave in). He was sitting with his arm over my shoulder and I was sitting with my knees bent and close to my chest (as close as I could get them with my belly). My mind was distracted the whole time. I was lost in thought and biting the inside of my lip as I thought about how I should have said something at dinner.

So, I just kind of blurted it out now instead.

"Are you… nervous at all?" I asked, sort of detached. I could see Owen look at me out of the corner of my eye and when I looked at him, I could see the confusion. There was no context to my question. "For the baby I mean… like, aren't you the least bit worried? I mean, after everything with your father…" I trailed off. He grunted and shook his head and I realized those weren't the words I meant to use. "I mean, not just your father, my father too. Neither of us has good role models for parents, especially dads. I'm just worried. What if I hurt our baby girl the way my father hurt me? What if I don't do the right things? What if I mess up? There are so many things that can go wrong, I mean this is a living and breathing thing-" I was getting pretty emotional and my eyes were tearing up.

Owen took his arm from around my shoulders and looked at me. "Where is all of this coming from, Alise?" He asked, clearly concerned.

I sighed, blinking the tears out of my eyes. "I just…" I started, then signed again as I looked down at my hands and picked at my cuticles, a learned habit from him. "I don't know."

"You have nothing to worry about, baby. I promise." he said, rubbing my thigh comfortingly.

"How do you feel about it though?" I urged. He wasn't answering my question.

He sighed, "Of course I'm nervous. Hell, I'm terrified. I worry every day about what type of father I'll be, but then I think of you and how you're going to be such a good mother. I look at you and I know I want to be the best father that I can be for our little girl. And yeah, we're going to make mistakes, but every parent does… The point is, you have nothing to worry about. I know you'll be great." he said, kissing my hand.

I smiled at him, feeling relief wash over me. "You don't have to worry either, Owen. You know that right?" I asked quietly. His lips pressed together and he was silent and he wasn't looking at me. It was like he wasn't sure and that broke my heart. "You'll never be anything like your father. You're better than that," I said, cupping the side of his face and turning his head for me. "I believe in you. You're going to be the best dad ever. You're already the best husband." I said, running my fingers through his hair.

"You make it easy to be a good husband because you're an even better wife. I don't know what I did to deserve you."

"You deserve the world," I said softly, smiling at him as he kissed my hand again.

He sighed, "You still love me even though I can be a little-"

"-bit of a dick?" I asked, raising my brows.

"I was going to say that it's difficult for me to show you my emotions without you pushin' me to, but I guess that's true too." he chuckled.

"I know I can be a little needy sometimes. And maybe a tad clingy, but you're just so darn cute I want you to be with me all the time," I said, booping his nose even though I know he hates when I do that. He rolled his eyes and scoffed. "And you also give the best foot rubs…" I said with a grin.

He thought, "I don't know about that," he said, his voice going up another octave.

I laughed, "Yes, you do. Especially when my feet are all achy and swollen because I have this baby to carry around…" I trailed off, biting my lip and giving him innocent eyes.

Owen chuckled, grabbing my feet and pulling them towards him. "Oh, they stink!" he said with a smirk. I gasped, rolling my eyes and stuck my feet closer to his face.

"Yeah, how about now?"

"I'm just kidding!" he chuckled and actually smelt them this time. "They smell like that coconut lotion you use."

"Alright, Mr. foot fetish, get to rubbin'." I said. He chuckled as he pulled my feet into his lap and started to massage them.

"God, I love you," I threw my head back against the couch and I couldn't help the moan that escaped the back of my throat. It just felt so good. I swear, he has magic hands.

"Are you really doing it in the living room?!" I heard Lowery say from the other room after hearing the front door shut. I must have been enjoying the foot rub so much, I didn't hear the door open. He just got back from hanging out with friends.

Owen chuckled and I smirked, "Yeah, come check out Owen's dick!" I called.

"God, no!" he exclaimed.

"You'll like it! It's pretty impressive!" I looked at Owen and smirked even more.

"No!" Lowery said firmly. I heard him unzipping his coat and putting it in the coat closet.

"You sure, buddy?" Owen asked, playing along, which made me smirk even more.

"No really, I'm good. I'm gonna go slam my head into a wall now." he said. I could hear him begin trudging up the stairs.

"If you pass out, we're not gonna use water to wake you up!" I called so he could hear me. Owen let out a laugh and covered his mouth with his arm.

"I fucking hate you Alise." was all Lowery groaned from the top of the stairs.

I laughed, "Love you too little brother!" I said, hearing the door slam shut. I looked at Owen, who was smirking as he still continued to massage my feet. "Oooh, right there baby. Uh, that feels so good!" I let out a sigh.

Owen shushed me, "Keep it down, I don't want your parents to come home and think we're actually having sex in their living room while they're out on a date." he scolded.

"Then why don't you carry me upstairs so we can be as loud as we want?" I asked, my brows raised with a playful smirk on my face.

Owen raised his brows, thinking about it for a second before getting up and swooping me up bridal style and headed for the stairs. I laughed, knowing I was gonna enjoy this foot rub, probably more than the others.

x x x

It's been a few days since we've been back and we all just finished the dinner my mom and I made and the boys were in the kitchen washing the dishes - as it should be. No woman in this house does the cooking AND cleaning. That's something my mom was always firm about, especially since my mom and Carl both basically have full-time jobs. It's not fair to make the woman do everything just because of what's been done in the past. Owen never put me in the situation where I've felt that way either, even though from what I could see his father did that to his mother.

"So… have you picked out a name yet?" my mom asked as she handed me a mug of tea and sat beside me. I groaned and rolled my eyes, we've been through this before. She's asked me nearly every day. I know she's excited, but it's just making me even more anxious. She's obviously not trying to make me feel that way, sometimes she's just oblivious. "You know I'm going to keep asking until you come up with one."

"I'm starting to realize that," I said, blowing on the tea and taking a sip. She was still looking at me, waiting for my answer. I sighed. "We're still working on it. None of the ones we've come across feel right."

"You'll know when you find it. Your father and I went through countless amounts of names before finding Alise, which you know is your great-grandmother's name. Your father originally wanted to name you 'Rebel', but I talked him out of that. There was no way I was going to let that happen." she said, right as the boys walked into the room.

"Of course dad would want my name to be 'Rebel'. He always wished I was one," I scoffed, giving Owen a smile as he sat next to me on the couch. Lowery sat in the lazy boy with his laptop, as usual, and Carl sat on the other lazy boy closest to my mom.

"You were a bit of a rebel growing up, but you didn't do anything crazy without my knowledge, like get a tattoo or something like that." she said, shaking her head.

I laughed nervously. "Yeah, I wouldn't do that." I said, taking a sip of the tea as I gave Owen a side-eye because he was chuckling. She didn't need to know about the peace sign I have on my hip that I got when I was 16. It's better if she doesn't.

"You sure about that?" Lowery asked, totally calling me out. I shot him daggers.

"Oh, shut up. You've never done anything remotely rebellious or cool in your life." I said, he rolled his eyes.

My mom laughed as she thought. "Your father wanted to name Lowery 'Blaze'."

"No way! That wouldn't have fit at all, he's too much of a computer geek for that." I said.

"I think I could have pulled it off. I could have had a leather jacket like dad and would have been a mini Lenny…" he trailed off. "Wait, that would have been terrible. He's a terrible role model." We all couldn't help but laugh at that one because it was definitely true. "So thank you for naming me after my grandpa, mom."

"You're welcome, honey," my mom said as she stood up. "Now, you two get working on picking out that name."

"Why do you want to know the name so bad? Oh, please don't tell me you're going to embroider it onto something!" I said, remembering flashbacks of embroidery on nearly everything.

"You know I have to. Do you remember that little knit hat and scarf that had your name on it? You were so cute!" she reminisced.

"Yeah, how could I forget. You made me wear it on my first day of kindergarten and I got made fun of." I deadpanned, rolling my eyes as I took another sip of tea.

"Kids will make fun of anything," my mom shook her head.

"They made fun of me for wearing glasses." Lowery said to make her point.

I thought for a second, "Yeah, but they called you a geek and a nerd. Not so much making fun of you as it is stating facts."

Lowery rolled his eyes, "Yeah and you were the one that started all of it."

My eyes widened as I sunk down in my seat a little bit, taking another sip of tea so I didn't have to say anything. Guilty as charged.

"Alise, you were Lowery's biggest bully. But it toughened him up, so I guess that's a good thing." my mom said, patting Lowery's shoulders before walking into the other room, Carl following close behind, raising his mug at us as if he were waving goodbye.

"Yeah, totally toughened him up. What are you working on there, geek boy?" I asked, looking over at Lowery, who was typing fast on his computer. He just looked at me, shook his head and got up without saying anything, taking his laptop with him.

I dropped my jaw, throwing my hands in the air in shock as I looked at Owen. "Did he really just blow me off?"

"You drag him so hard," Owen said, shaking his head with a laugh. "I'd leave too." he admitted.

"You didn't grow up with him, so you don't understand. I mean, the things he would say and do to me? He acts all innocent, but on the inside, he was a gremlin. Still is." I said, matter-of-factly, nodding my head.

Owen sneered, taking a sip of his beer. "I'll take your word for it."

x x x

Later that night, I was laying in bed, scrolling through my phone and looking at baby names while Owen just got out of the shower and was changing into pajamas. Loki was in here with us, asleep in my lap. He's an affectionate cat, but usually keeps to himself and loves exploring the house by himself. I don't want him to be an outdoor cat, even though he's run into a few windows trying to get the birds outside. He manages well inside and even loves to mess with Snow. We'll come downstairs and Loki has his paws on the cage and Snow is biting at his paws, telling him 'no'. Snow doesn't like him very much because he cramps her style, but she's getting used to him.

"So, what about Ava… or Bethany… maybe Rebecca or Charlotte… I don't know, there are so many options," I groaned, knocking my head against the headboard lightly. Owen looked completely uninterested and it seemed like he wasn't even listening at all. "There's Keira spelled 'K-e-i-r-a'. I think that's cute." I said with a smirk.

Owen looked at me, "Never in a million years are we naming our daughter anything that remotely sounds like Kira." he said, getting into bed next to me.

I laughed, shaking my head, which turned into a sigh. "None of these names feel right." I put my phone down and looked at my baby bump, thinking.

"I kinda like Charlotte…" he trailed off. I thought about it, then my eyes lit up.

"Charlie for short?" I asked him, immediately thinking about Charlie. He pressed his lips together, thinking.

"We could just go with Charlie. Not short for anything," he said.

I smiled. "That's perfect," Just then, I felt a little jab from the inside of my stomach. "She just kicked…" I said, grabbing Owen's hand and putting it on my stomach, right where she kicked before.

"Do you like Charlie, little one?" Owen asked softly, leaning closer to my stomach. She kicked again as if to say she did. It was perfect timing. "Charlie it is, princess." he said, moving his hand and kissing my stomach. Honoring Charlie, who I consider to be his daughter (and I know he feels the same way) like this makes me so happy. It's the perfect name for our little angel.

x x x

Owen and I agreed we wanted to keep the name to ourselves for a little bit, but I may or may not have slipped up and told Aspen when I saw her the next day when she stopped by the shop.

"Lance and I finally picked out a name for our little guy!" was one of the first things she said when she greeted me. "I was going to call you, but I was out getting Dairy Queen anyway and I figured I'd stop by."

"Ooo, Dairy Queen? You get anything for me?" I said, half-joking as I finished hanging up the flannel shirts we just got in shipment.

"Peanut butter cookie dough smash!" she said, holding out the blizzard. Even though it was 40 degrees out, I was always up for ice cream and so was Aspen. That was something we bonded on as children. Our parents would be so annoyed when we dragged them out for ice cream. Once I got my license, it was free game. Whenever, wherever. Even when it was below 0.

"Nice! You remembered I told you I was craving raw cookie dough and peanut butter last night?" I asked, taking it from her and taking a spoonful, sighing at the taste.

"Yep. Even though it was at 3am and I never answered, I still got it," she laughed, taking her jacket off and shoving it behind the register, pulling herself up on the counter with a groan. It was a little more difficult to pull yourself up onto things when you're 6 months pregnant.

"So what's the little man's name gonna be?" I asked, sitting on the chair I put behind the counter for when I get tired, which happens frequently now, I need a breather at least every half hour.

"Hunter. After my great-grandfather, not because his name was Hunter, his name was Earl. He was actually a great hunter, he held the record for the largest buckshot for a while. Lots of pictures of him with dead animals." she said. I cringed. Of course, that'd be their thought process.

"We picked out a name for our girl," I said between spoonfuls, it just kind of came out and I immediately regretted it.

"Tell me now!" she said, her face lighting up.

I sighed. "Owen and I wanna keep it to ourselves, I shouldn't have even said anything." I said abruptly, shaking my head, but I knew she wasn't going to accept that.

"Seriously? That's fucked up. You can't just tell me you picked a name and not tell me what it is, bitch!" she said, punching my arm.

"First of all, ow," I said, rubbing the spot she punched. "I'm a lot more sensitive now that I'm pregnant and I can't handle your aggressiveness."

"Oh, boo who, what's her name?"

I sighed. "Charlie."

"That's so cute! I love the whole boys name as a girls name thing. It's very you and Owen," she said. I smiled. "Wait, isn't Charlie the name of one of his raptors? That one you took care of?" she asked, taking a huge spoonful of her blizzard. Nothing stops a pregnant girl from her food. I can say that because I was currently in the middle of swallowing a huge bite too.

"Yeah, I took care of her twice. First time when her and Delta were messing around and scratched her up pretty good, the second time when she had a sickness called Crypto and she was pretty sick. She remembered me after I fixed her leg and Owen said we formed a really strong bond after that. She'd chirp and chatter when she saw me after that, it was so cute. During the incident she passed away and I saw it happen on the monitor, it was really hard to watch from the monitor, but Owen saw it first hand. It was heartbreaking. I feel like naming her Charlie is like honoring her in a way. She meant a lot to me and that means she meant even more to Owen…"

"It's just perfect," Aspen smiled. "That's really sweet. Man, I wish I could have seen the dinosaurs in person. Lance and I were actually going to come surprise you. We had a flight booked and everything."

"Really? I didn't know that…"

"Yeah, it seemed like it wasn't important after everything that happened. We were going to come the week before Christmas."

"That would have been awesome! You would have liked it a lot." I smiled.

"It would have been cool for Hunter to see it. You know, before that crazy ass dinosaur got out, even though it wasn't the safest. I mean now, after what happened, I'd never go if they reopened it, but everyone seemed to live in denial that something like that could happen and I'm sure I would have been one of those people."

I scoffed, nodding in agreement. "So was I." I said, just as a customer walked into the store.

"Hey Alise." Donnie, a middle-aged man said as he came into the store. He's a long time customer of my family's and comes in a couple of times a week. The man loves his flannels.

"Hi Donnie, how are you?"

"Good, good. Just lookin' around." he said, walking to the other side of the store, straight for the flannels. I smiled and looked back at Aspen.

"Well, I actually have a listing to show in about 20 minutes," she said, sliding herself off the counter with another grunt. She hugged me tightly. "Also, the names a secret, so don't tell anyone or I'll cut Owen's balls off." she said. My eyes widened and she laughed. I just hope Donnie didn't hear that.

"Well, Charlie's a secret too, so if you tell anyone, I'll…" I trailed off, trying to think of something to say, I wasn't as witty as Aspen that's for sure.

"Stuff my face with Oreos?"

"No, because you'd enjoy that. I can't really threaten you with any harm because you're pregnant." I laughed.

"Yup, that's one of the beauties of being pregnant. That's why I said I'd cut off Owen's balls. And you need those." she said, putting her jacket on. I glanced over at Donnie, who was still browsing around the thermal socks and didn't show any signs of hearing our conversation, even though Aspen has a loud mouth.

I laughed. "I'm pretty sure he needs them too."

"What would you play with if they were gone?" she asked seriously, a smirk on her lips.

"Alright, go have fun at your showing. Knock 'em dead!" I said as she headed for the door. "And thanks for the blizzard!"

"Anytime, Crusty!" she smiled, heading out the door.

"Bye Assie!" I said as the door shut. I let out a sigh and took another bite of my blizzard. Man, toast would be great right about now.

x x x

I stayed at the store until we closed at 7pm and by the time I got home, Carl had already finished making dinner, turkey meatloaf with caramelized onions and pecan green beans.

"Everything is so good honey," my mom said as we ate.

"Yeah, delicious," I agreed with a mouthful. They laughed. "Especially the pecan green beans."

"That was actually Owen's doing. I never thought about mixing pecans and green beans, but it works. Tastes great, too," Carl said, taking a bite of a green bean. "He helped me with the meatloaf too, which was a surprise. He's jack-full of trades. You picked a good one."

"Yes, I did," I smiled as I looked at Owen, rubbing his back. He smiled at me as he ate his food.

"Oh! Alise, I ran into Martha and Jace today," my mom started. I rolled my eyes and let out a small sigh. Here we go again. Jace is my ex and she's really good friends with his mother, Martha, and she's mentioned him a few times in front of Owen. Owen knows Jace my ex and all my mom does is praise him because she doesn't know what really happened between us. "He's going back to medical school again, he wants to be a doctor! Isn't that great?" she asked me.

I nodded. "Yeah, totally." I just wanted this conversation to be over.

"He says he tried to add you on Facebook a while ago, but you never accepted his friend request. Why is that, honey?" she asked me, clearly oblivious.

"Must not have seen it," I said, taking a bite of food so I wouldn't have to talk anymore. Obviously, I saw it and obviously, I ignored it. And he knows why. But of course, he'd go and say that to my mom, he always wants to be the innocent one.

"Well, his mother had the wonderful idea of the four of us going out to eat for lunch one day so we could all catch up. Wouldn't you like to see how he's doing?" she asked and the table got silent. I immediately glanced at Owen, who's hand was turning into a fist and his jaw was tight. I could tell it bothered him when she talked about Jace because she'd reminisce about my past relationship with him because she's just that oblivious.

So many things were rushing through my mind and I felt my cheeks start to burn out of frustration. If only she knew what he did to me, then she'd understand. I looked back up at my mom, who was sipping her wine and looking at me with raised brows.

"No, I don't really care how he's doing." I said, cutting into my meatloaf and shoving a piece into my mouth.

"I don't understand you sometimes. I mean, you were engaged to him and you just called it off two weeks before the wedding, the least you could do is-"

"-Mom!" I exclaimed, cutting her right off. The whole table went quiet. Lowery dropped his fork on his plate and Owen froze.

"Well, I didn't think we were hiding that from anyone," my mom said, scoffing and taking a sip of her wine. The fact that she was on her third glass was really starting to show.

"Honey," Carl said, probably to shut her up.

I looked at Owen and opened my mouth to say something, but the words didn't come out. What could I say? I never told him I was engaged before. I barely even went into specifics about my past relationship with Jace, just that we were together for a few years and it didn't work out.

After a moment of silence, Owen cleared his throat. "Thanks for the dinner, Carl." he said as he stood up, grabbing his plate and taking it into the kitchen. I quickly got up and followed him.

"Owen…" I said. He just shook his head as if to tell me he wasn't in the mood and left the room. I let out a sigh and walked back into the dining room.

"Where did Owen go, honey?" my mom asked, clearly as oblivious as ever.

"Owen left because you make him uncomfortable. You constantly mention Jace and talk about how he's a fucking angel and was perfect for me and I shouldn't have left him. Jace is a piece of shit. He cheated on me with Raina 2 weeks before my wedding so I called it off," I said. Raina was my bridesmaids and one of my closest friends before that happened. "Now I have to go explain everything to Owen because you're fucking oblivious to everything!" I exclaimed, not able to hold back my anger anymore. I'd been playing nice this whole time, every single time she mentioned something about Jace and I just had enough.

My mom gasped, looking completely shocked. Carl had his head down and Lowery looked at me with shock written all over his face. I just shook my head and headed for the stairs. I had no idea what I was going to say to Owen, or what his true reaction was. So many things were rushing through my head. I lied to Owen and I couldn't deny that. Now I had to deal with the consequences.


	7. Chapter 7

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 7**

**Summary:**

Alise and Owen get into an argument after her mom drops the ball and Owen finds out Alise lied to him. This only causes Alise to bring up the fact that Owen lied to her too. It only makes them wonder what else the other could be hiding and they begin to wonder if they can truly trust each other.

**Authors note: **This is very angsty and mentions of an abortion, you have been warned. Also, I have a lot of information about PTSD in here that I've googled after researching, so I don't know if this is 100% accurate, so if I get some facts wrong, please don't hold it against me! Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

I didn't hear footsteps going up the stairs and I saw the light on in the den, so I went to see if Owen was in there first. He was sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. I was worried he'd been crying or upset, I mean, who wouldn't be?

I let out a deep breath and closed the door behind me. "Owen…"

"What?" he asked, or more like snapped.

I let out a sigh. "I can see you're upset and I don't blame you, but I think we should talk about what just happened…" I said, sitting next to him on the couch. "I'm so sorry you found out this way." I was nervous and my hands were shaking, but I still put my hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well, were you ever going to tell me?" he asked, shaking my hand away. "Because being engaged is a pretty big deal. Especially when your mom keeps talking about how amazing this Jace guy is and implying that you should have married him over me."

"Owen… I would never want to marry him over you. My mom is oblivious. I didn't tell you because I was ashamed…" I felt my eyes starting to burn with tears already. I looked up at the ceiling, trying to get them to stop watering. "I was ashamed because I found out he cheated on me with my bridesmaid 2 weeks before the wedding. I was beating myself up over it, wondering if I did something wrong for him to cheat."

"When did it happen?" he asked hastily.

"2 months before I came to the island…"

"Do you still love him?"

I was baffled he'd ask that question. "What? No. Of course not. He broke my heart, I could never love someone like that."

Owen nodded, leaning his elbows on his knees and his hands covering his mouth like he was taking it all in. "You lied to me…"

"I didn't lie to you, I just withheld the truth. I didn't think it was such a big deal." I said, immediately regretting the words that just came out of my mouth. I didn't believe any word that I just spoke and I wish I could have taken it back.

Owen stood up. "Yeah, well it is." he said, walking towards the door.

I didn't want him to walk away from this, I wanted to finish this conversation. My mind flashed to what happened with his dad and I felt my stomach drop as I came to the realization that he lied to me too. I stood up and I felt like I snapped like I couldn't control what I was about to say.

"You wanna sit here and talk about lying, Owen? You're the one that lied to me about your entire childhood. I tried to understand because when we talked about it we hadn't been seeing each other for that long, but that's a huge part of your life that I think I should have known, especially going into meeting your family. Now I know why you were so hesitant about me meeting them. Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"Were you ever going to tell me about Jace?" he asked, avoiding my question completely.

"Just answer the question Owen."

He sighed. "Probably not."

"Right. So you're the last person that should be lecturing me about hiding things and lying."

"That is so much different and you know it." he said.

"No, Owen. It's really not. We both lied about something big that happened in our lives that shaped who we are today. I'm ashamed of it. I feel terrible. You seem like you don't give a shit that you lied to me. These are things we should have told each other before we got married. If we've hidden something like this from each other, how do I know there's nothing else you're hiding from me?"

"I'd like to ask you the same exact thing!" he said, throwing his hand in the air. It was evident that he was even angrier, especially because he was now yelling at me.

"Fine," I said, letting out a shaky breath as a few stray tears rolled down my cheeks. "Well, I found out I was pregnant with a week after I left him. I didn't know what to do and I panicked. I got an abortion a week later. I couldn't imagine bringing his child into this world, knowing how much of a terrible father he'd be. I couldn't do that to my baby."

"Well, that's a huge fucking deal. I can't believe you hid something like that from me, Alise!" I could tell he was pissed.

I couldn't help the tears that flooded my eyes. "The least you could do is understand why I did it instead of patronizing me for it. I did enough of that to myself and I still think about it all the time and how terrible I was to take away a life. I hate myself for it." I admitted. It was something I've been struggling with this whole time. I just tried to avoid thinking about it as much as possible.

"Well, you're not alone in that." he spat.

I raised my brows, completely shocked at what just came out of his mouth. "I can't believe you just said that. You're such an asshole." I said, walking out of the room and slamming the door. I headed straight for my room, packed some clothes and essentials in a bag and left to go to Aspen's house. I didn't care that it was nearing 10pm. I couldn't look at him after what he just said to me, let alone stay in the same house as him.

x x x

I had a panic attack the second I got to Aspen's and she and Lance both helped calm me down. They made some tea and Lance left us alone so I could tell Aspen what happened with Owen. She's the only person I trusted with any of the information that Owen found out tonight and she totally understood where I was coming from. She wasn't as brash as she normally was and didn't threaten to cut off his balls, as she normally would. When I needed her to be there for me and just listen, she knew how to shut that part off and that's what I needed. Just someone to listen to what I had to say and be my shoulder to cry on.

I didn't end up getting to bed until 1am. Lance decided to sleep on the couch since they converted the guest room into a nursery and the last thing he was going to do was make a pregnant woman sleep on the couch because he's a "gentleman" (his word, not mine - although I'd completely agree with him).

Anyway, I had my phone off most of the night because I thought Owen might call and that's the last thing I wanted to deal with. I couldn't talk to him. Not yet. Not after all the hurtful things he said to me. I slept pretty well, for the most part, tossed and turned, as usual, got smacked in the face a couple of times because Aspen loses control of her limbs when she sleeps. I can't tell you how many times Lance has complained about being kneed or punched in the balls in the middle of the night.

Aspen had to be up at 7:30am to do a house showing at 9am and when I woke up, I turned my phone on and saw 10 missed calls from Owen and a few texts I didn't dare to open. Lance was already out of the house by the time I woke up, so I took a shower, changed and went straight home after that and I made it home by 8:30am.

I was expecting to come home to an empty house. Mom would have left for the shop at 8, Lowery would have left for his job at 8 too, and Carl and Owen would have left anywhere between 6 and 7. So I was really surprised to see Owen sitting in the living room when I walked into the house.

He stood up when he saw me. "Where the hell were you?" he asked, obviously fuming.

"I went to Aspen's. I needed to get away." I answered calmly, the last thing I wanted right now was a fight. I did enough crying last night.

"You can't just leave like that without telling me." he scolded.

"After the way last night panned out, I think you should understand why I didn't exactly want to share a bed with you."

"Yeah, well, that still doesn't mean you can just leave like that." he said simply, but his voice still stiff.

"I'm sorry. I mean, the last thing you could do is sympathize with me just a little bit." I said, walking into the kitchen. I was starving right now and all I wanted was hot chocolate and eggs and not to be having this conversation anymore.

Owen followed me. "You're sorry? You're always sorry, but you keep doing the same shit again anyway." he said.

I stopped what I was doing and looked at him, my brows furrowed. "What?" I asked. Did he really just say that?

"Nothing, just forget it." he shook his head.

"No. Did you really just say that? Are you kidding me, Owen?!" I exclaimed, dropping the metal kettle on the stove in frustration, scaring myself at the loud noise it made.

"I said forget it," he said through gritted teeth.

"Well, I'm not going to. You can't just shush me like one of your damn raptors. You're not in control of me." I said, immediately regretting every single word that just came out of my mouth. I couldn't control it, when I got angry, words spewed out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

Owen sighed, shaking his head. "It's not about control…" he said, then his facial expression changed completely. He looked enraged. "IT WAS NEVER ABOUT CONTROL, WHY THE HELL CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?" He yelled, no he screamed at me. I flinched, taking a step back until my back hit the counter. He's never screamed at me like that before and it was terrifying. I was tearing up again, trying to hold back tears. His face fell immediately after seeing my reaction. "It was never about control…" he said, sounding helpless. "If I just said 'no'... if I didn't go into that paddock… if I fought harder for the girls…" his voice cracked as he shook his head. I realized this was about something completely different. This wasn't about our fight from last night, it was about the incident. It's always been about the incident. His eyes started to tear up and he sniffled in.

"Honey…" I said, walking over to him and embracing him in a hug. He held onto me tight and just let it go. "It's okay baby…" I whispered as he cried against my shoulder. This was a long time coming. I never saw him like this, but I'm finally glad that he's letting it out someway. I just wish I knew what to say. We just stood there for 10 minutes with me holding him as he cried until he pulled away and apologized for it all. Everything that he said and did and even crying. I told him to never apologize for having his feelings and that if he wants to cry, to cry. I'm glad we were getting somewhere.

x x x

After what happened with Owen, we spent the rest of the day talking about a lot of things, everything but what happened in the kitchen earlier and the incident itself. I was trying to distract him, knowing that's what he'd want the most. He wouldn't want me to draw attention to it. He was so vulnerable at that moment and I want him to feel safe with me so he can do that more often.

We watched Game of Thrones for a few hours. We were in the middle of season 3 episode 2, sitting on the couch and my mind was anywhere but the show. I was thinking about the fight we had last night and I wanted to say something about it, so I just went for it.

"Owen…" I said. He hummed, still looking at the TV. "I love you, more than anything. You know that right?" I said.

He broke his attention from the TV and looked at me, a smile crossed his face. "Yeah. I know," he said, kissing my hand. "I love you too. No matter how much of a dick I can be."

I laughed, "At least you know," I said. He chuckled and looked back at the TV, still holding my hand. I looked at him for a minute, just admiring his face as I thought how in love with this man I was, even after everything we've been through. It's only made me love him more. I think he could feel me staring because he looked at me with his brows raised.

"Something on your mind?" he asked, looking concerned. I sighed, which said it all. "You know you can tell me anything." his grip on my hand tightened and I nodded.

"I know… I just can't stop thinking about our fight last night and how I lied to you and how big of a deal that is…"

"Hey, hey… no more talking about that. It's done now, alright?" he said.

I sighed again. "I know but, I just feel so bad. You probably hate me because of it."

"Hey, I would never hate you, do you hear me?" he said, his voice soft. "Listen, I lied to you about my childhood too and that's a pretty big deal. We both made mistakes. I understand why you didn't want to tell me now. It's something you'd rather forget. I wanna forget too, which is why I didn't tell you about it either." he said honestly. I nodded, understanding everything he just said.

"That wasn't the only reason I left him…" I said. I wanted to clear the air about that too. "There were always little things that bothered me. He's cheated on me in the past, too…"

"You don't have to justify yourself to me, baby. It's in the past," he assured me, kissing my temple. I smiled.

"Plus, my last name would have been 'Hiscock' and that's just terrible." I blurted out.

Owen chuckled loudly. "Hiscock is terrible," he said. I nodded. "How was 'Hiscock'?" he couldn't help but ask.

I couldn't help but smile. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?" he chuckled and nodded, looking back at the TV. "It was actually the best thing that's ever happened to me," I said, catching his attention again. He didn't seem annoyed that I was pulling him away from the show, even though it was an intense part of the episode. "I never would have gone to Isla Nublar if I got married and never would have met you. Everything happens for a reason. I'm just glad it led me to you." I said, grabbing his hand again.

A smile crossed his lips. "Me too," he said, thinking. "You know, I actually almost turned down the offer to work for InGen. I thought it was too good to be true. But I had this feeling in my gut that it was where I was meant to go and I'm really happy that I did."

"See, it was meant to be." I smiled, kissing his lips.

"It sure was." he smiled, grabbing the back of my neck and pulling me in for another soft kiss.

x x x

The next day, Owen went to work with Carl around 7am and I worked at the shop from 9 until 3, when my mom came in and I left right away. I was still mad at her for everything that happened and everything she said. She tried to talk to me, but I kind of just shut her down. I wasn't ready to talk just yet.

I wasn't just mad at the fact that she said what she said and Owen found out, I was more annoyed with the fact that she was drunk when she said it and has been totally insensitive about everything. She's been making it seem like she doesn't like that I married Owen over Jace, even though she seems to accept Owen as her son now basically. It was all confusing and I didn't understand. I know we'll have to talk eventually, but I couldn't do it today. It was still too fresh.

After work, I went straight to Aspen's house. She and Lance invited Owen and me for dinner tonight and Aspen finished her showings for the day, so we decided to do some retail therapy. I needed more clothes, seeing as my little girl was growing more and more every day.

We got back to her house around 5, right when Lance got home from work. I talked to Owen and he said he'd be able to make it here by 7. He and Carl were finishing up some stuff, then he wanted to go home and shower before coming over. That gave me time to sit and talk with Lance about everything. I still haven't gone to a therapist because everything's been so hectic and I needed an experts advice on, well, everything.

"I just wish I could get him to talk to me more about it. After our blow out a couple of nights ago and his outburst yesterday morning, it really has me worrying." I said. We were sitting at the dining room table and he was having a glass of wine and Aspen and I were drinking tea. Owen wasn't going to be here for another half an hour.

"You could try sympathizing with him. Tell him how you're feeling and see if he opens up from there?" Aspen offered.

"I've tried that, no luck. You should have seen him… he totally broke down. I felt so bad. I didn't say anything, I just let him cry it out. I didn't know what to even say. Every time I say something, he shuts me down or changes the subject…"

"Victims of PTSD need to be provided with social support rather than emotional," Lance said, this is exactly why I came to him. He knows so much about this. He actually specifically works with people who had PTSD. "Don't pressure him into talking and let him take the lead. His emotions are at their height right now and he's having trouble expressing them and is misplacing the loss and depression with anger. The first thing you have to do is know it's not your fault and think about what he's going through. Put yourself in his shoes."

"I know, whenever he gets snippy, I try not to take it to heart, even though it's hard. I'm getting the same way with him and even my family." I said.

"I know you've been through the same experience as him and it's hard for you to cope with your feelings enough as it is, yeah?" he asked.

"Totally. I feel like I can't talk to him about it and it's getting to be out of control. I overheard Carl talking to Lowery about how Owen's been acting recently. He's snapped at him and seems out of it, he spaces out a lot, too. All of which I've noticed. It's so unlike him. He's been this way with everyone and then after the other night…" I trailed off.

"What happened the other night is good. You're chipping away at this massive wall he's built around himself. In order to help him, you need to keep your own stress levels at a minimum," he said. Aspen shot him a look, probably thinking exactly what I was thinking: I'm freaking pregnant and my hormones are already out of whack enough as it is. How the hell am I supposed to be stress-free at this point? He looked at Aspen, understanding what the look said. "Which is hard, considering you're pregnant." he added.

"Yeah," I scoffed. "That's for sure."

"That aside, you're doing a good job at coping with your PTSD by being open and honest with those you trust. I hope you're coming to me when you need advice like this and not this one, over here," Lance chuckled, pointing his thumb at Aspen, who was sitting next to him.

"Hey, I provide emotional support!" she defended. I laughed.

"Plotting to cut off his balls isn't the emotional support she needs, love, and you know that." he explained softly, I chuckled again.

Aspen groaned. "Fine. Whatever. I'm gonna go make a pickle and jam sandwich. You want any?" she asked, looking at me.

I raised my brows, pulling a face. That sounded horrible. "No thanks, I'm good."

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you try it." Aspen shrugged, walking out of the room. I shook my head and laughed, looking back at Lance.

"As I was saying, when he does eventually open up to you, which will happen soon, the best thing you can do is just listen to him. Make sure you don't give him the easy answers like "everything's going to be alright", if he's talking about his fears, let him. Don't tell him what he should and shouldn't do. And do not minimize his feelings. He's big on pride, which is why he hasn't talked about it much, he doesn't want to be looked at as weak, so don't make him feel like he is. If he's finally talking about how he feels, don't bring your feelings into it. And if you're unsure of what to say, it's better not to say anything at all." he said.

I nodded, taking it all in. "Wow, that's a lot to take in. I've been doing it all wrong…" I shook my head, I should have come to him sooner.

"And that's okay, Alise. You've never experienced anything like this and you're going through the same battle in your own mind. It's a lot to deal with and you're doing exceptionally well."

I gave a small, half smile. "It's really hard, but I try…" I trailed off. "Is that anything else I should know?" I asked.

"Yeah… you'll want to rebuild safety and trust. I know you've expressed to me that you worry that at any second, something big can happen like the incident on the island and turn your world upside down again, I'm sure he's thinking the same thing. You worry about the future and limit yourself from talking about it. You used to be so future-oriented when I'd talk to you, but now you're worried too much about it. He feels the same way. If you talk more about future plans and make future plans, it'll help the both of you." he explained.

I nodded. "I didn't realize I was doing that… but I can definitely start doing that. We haven't made any future plans, we're so stuck on the here and now. I don't think we've even properly planned for Charlie... I mean, we aren't even sure if we're going to get our own place or stay with my parents when we have her."

"That's good, start talking about that with him." he urged.

I nodded. "What else can I do?" I was so determined, I wanted to know everything and anything I could do to help him.

"Are you sure? I've already told you so much."

"If there's more, I wanna know it." I told him.

He nodded, "Well, you can anticipate and manage his triggers, avoid them if possible. You know how to calm people down from a panic attack since you've had them in the past, yeah?" I nodded. "Since he had his outburst the other day, be prepared for that, should it happen again. Some patients of PTSD who were not violent before can become violent if they're angry enough, so if you notice him getting angry, try to calm him down before it escalates. But remember, your safety is number one. If he's having an outburst and you're worried for yourself or your baby, get as far away from him as possible. Come here or lock yourself in a room if you can't until he calms down. I'm not trying to scare you, but you need to know. Things happen." he explained.

I nodded. "I know…" I pray nothing like that would ever happen. "Thank you, Lance. This is all very helpful."

"You know all of this applies to you, right? You're very focused on Owen and Owen's needs, but you also need to focus on yours. Maybe look into a support group. I know of one that meets in town every Tuesday night for people with PTSD. Try to encourage Owen to go with you. And if you need anything, don't hesitate to call. Even if it's in the middle of the night, I'm always here." he said, reaching out to touch my hand. I smiled and nodded. He was always so caring. One of the reasons why he's perfect for Aspen.

Aspen walked back into the room with a plate in her hand and a glass of chocolate milk, which was something else she's been craving and drinking constantly.

"You know, I could also try to talk to him, mate to mate," Lance said after taking a sip of his wine.

"Mate to mate?" I asked.

"Like brother to brother, friend to friend." he explained. I get that he's British, but that just sounds awkward.

"Weird terminology," I said, shaking my head. "But either way, I don't think that'll work. He'll probably think you're psychoanalyzing him. Think about the last time you tried to talk to him, didn't he tell you to fuck off?" I asked, my brows raised.

Lance chuckled. "We were drunk and I beat him in poker. He was sat face down against the table and I said "hey, you alright, mate?" and then he told me to piss off. I don't think it's because I asked if he was okay. I drained him of fifty dollars and then proceeded to rub it in his face."

"Yeah, he wouldn't stop talking about that for a week. Said you cheated and robbed him." I laughed.

"Maybe I'll just ask if he wants a beer or something. We'll go to the pub down the street. Get him a little sloshed, poke the bear, he's gotta spill something."

"That doesn't sound very clinical." I said, my brows raised.

"That's why it'd be mate to mate." he said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes. "You're still talking about getting him drunk and the last time you drank he told you to fuck off." I said matter-of-factly, taking a sip of my tea.

"I can handle it," he said confidently. "I'll take a different approach this time. Have him talking before he even knows he's talking." he said.

"Whatever you say there, big boy." Aspen said, patting his back as she took a bit of that god-awful looking sandwich. It actually made me nauseous just looking at it.

I shrugged. "Hey, if you think it'll work, but all means, go for it. I just want him to talk to someone."

"I got this. I'll do it tonight while you girls have some girl talk, paint each other's toenails, whatever you girls do."

"That's sexist." I said seriously, but I was joking. I know Lance didn't mean it that way.

"Yeah, how do you know we don't have a secret love-affair and all we do whenever you leave us alone is have sex." Aspen said, washing down the sandwich with the chocolate milk, making me even more nauseous. I still chuckled at what she said.

"Now I'd be into that." Lance said with a smirk.

"Of course you would be," I said, rolling my eyes. He and Aspen both laughed. "Now, what's for dessert?" I asked.

Aspen laughed, "We haven't even had dinner!"

"I know, but I'm hungry and some peanut butter, ice cream, and toast sounds amazing."

"There's toast in the kitchen, but you'll have to call your lover for the ice cream and peanut butter." Aspen said as I got up and made my way into the kitchen.

"Yeah, Aspen went full-on pregnant mode and finished the whole tub of peanut butter last night!" Lance called, then I heard him say 'ouch' and Aspen mumbling something, so I gathered she probably punched him and most likely called him an idiot or something along those lines. I laughed to myself and pulled out my phone to call Owen.

"Hey baby, I'm right down the road," Owen said as he answered.

"You think you could get some peanut butter and ice cream? Baby wants some ice cream and toast." I said. Owen chuckled.

"Tell her 'you got it, Charlie'. I'll be there in 5." he said, hanging up the phone. I smiled and looked down at my stomach, rubbing it.

"Daddy's got you covered, baby girl." I smiled as she kicked.


	8. Chapter 8

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 8**

**Summary:**

After clearing the air with Owen, Alise makes a little bit of progress at getting Owen to let his guard down. She's still angry at her mom for what happened and Owen urges Alise to talk to her. Finally, she does and everything's back on track. Alise has noticed Owen is unhappy and she tries to help him cope with all of the changes and giving him a big surprise. Also, something happens to Alise that could jeopardize the baby and she's never been more scared in her life.

* * *

The next morning, Carl gave Owen the day off and I didn't have to be in the shop until 4 to close up. I was making eggs and turkey bacon. I've never really been a fan of turkey bacon, but bacon is so high in fat and I figured the healthier I can eat for Charlie, the better (and ice cream is perfectly healthy, okay). I was sipping hot chocolate while Lowery was pouring some coffee into his travel mug. He was just on his way out for his job at a fancy tech company. It's no Jurassic World, but it was something for now.

"Someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning," Lowery chuckled as he added milk and sugar. I glanced over to Owen, who was walking in slowly and clearly hungover.

All Owen did was groan and pour some coffee. "Don't you have to be at work?" he asked, a little snippy.

Lowery chuckled, "I'm on my way out right now. Enjoy your hangover, bro," Lowery said, patting Owen's back. "Bye Lise." he said, walking out of the kitchen.

"Bye dickhead!" I called, flipping the eggs. Lowery mumbled something to himself as I heard Snow in the other room start saying "Dickhead, dickhead".

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, Snow! Bye you crazy bird!" Lowery said to her before leaving. I smiled to myself as Snow said "dickhead, dickhead" again until the front door shut.

"God, can you get that bird to be quiet?" Owen asked, rubbing his temples as he sat at the island.

"Nope, she'll stop eventually," I laughed. It was true, I couldn't do much to stop her from talking. Sometimes I'll wake up in the middle of the night and hear her singing, or on a bad night, imitating an alarm clock at 3am. She doesn't really have an off-switch and he knows it. "How'd you sleep?"

"Like a rock," Owen said bluntly as I put eggs and turkey bacon on a plate, turning the stove off.

"I thought so, there was a huge wet spot from drool on your pillowcase when I got up this morning." I laughed, putting the plate in front of him.

"I hate this crap," he mumbled, picking up a piece of turkey bacon and ate it begrudgingly.

I laughed, "Yeah, but it's better for Charlie and also better for our arteries," I said, making myself a plate as I sat next to him. He just grunted as a response and took a sip of coffee to wash down the turkey bacon. "Did you at least have fun last night? I tried to ask you in the car on the way home, but you started talking about how nice my boobs have gotten since I've been pregnant and I didn't know whether I should be flattered or offended."

"Definitely not something to be offended about," he said with a mouthful of food. "And I may have been drunk, but I meant every word I said."

I laughed, "So you had fun with Lance?" I asked, wanting to get as much as I could out of him. After dinner last night, they went to the bar down the street and next thing I know, they were stumbling home around 11:30pm (they walked there, thankfully), waking both Aspen and I up because we fell asleep watching Criminal Minds - one of Aspen's favorite shows. She's into all the crime shows while I'm into all the superhero stuff.

"Yeah. It was nice to just chill out with him and throw back a few beers without him psychoanalyzing me." he answered, taking a sip of coffee.

"Good, well I'm glad you had a good time. He's a pretty cool guy when you give him a chance." I smiled, eating my eggs.

He nodded, "And perfect for Aspen. He worships her. Makes me think I've been slackin'." he said.

"You've been pretty good, babe, so no need to worry about that," I smiled, eating some turkey bacon before washing it down with hot chocolate. The turkey bacon wasn't all that bad, it's just something to get used to.

"You working later?" he asked after a short silence. The coffee seemed to be helping with his hangover.

"Yeah, at 4. With my mom." I groaned. I still had yet to speak to her about everything. I'm still not ready.

"I'll drive you," he offered.

"I'm perfectly fine to drive, Owen. I drove home last night, mind you." I reminded him.

"Yeah, because I couldn't drive, obviously. I'm driving you." he said, this time it wasn't much of an offer.

"Whatever you say, grumpy pants." I said, ruffling his already messy hair. He glared at me and I smiled, patting his back. "I love you too, honey."

x x x

"Have you talked to your mom yet?" was the first thing Owen asked me when he walked into the room after brushing his teeth. He was already in pajamas and I was already in bed, reading another pregnancy book.

I sighed and shook my head, flipping the page in the book, completely disconnected. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about this.

"You're going to have to do it sometime. Didn't you work with her today?" he asked, getting into bed.

"Yeah, but the silent treatment has been working quite well. I think I'll stick to it-"

"-Alise," Owen said my name firmly, causing me to look at him. He was not messing around. "She's your mom and she loves you. You can't avoid talking to her. Think about how much she's done for us. Without her and Carl, we'd be out on our asses. Sure, she had a little bit too much to drink and was really insensitive about the situation and I know that hurts you. My dad could be the same way, but at least she cares for you. You can't avoid her for much longer, you know that. Plus, it's making you all snappy. You need to clear the air." he said.

I dropped my jaw, the first thing I picked up was the second to last sentence. "I am not getting snappy, you dick!" I snapped. Owen just looked at me with his brows raised. I sighed, realizing he was right. "Fine, I'll talk to her tomorrow morning." I said.

"Maybe talk to her after you've eaten and woken up a bit? You're not the most pleasant person to be around in the morning." he said, laying down under the blankets.

"Oh, shove it. I'll talk to her when I'm not grumpy, okay?" I said. He chuckled as he got comfortable. "And you're not the most pleasant person to be around in the morning either, grumpy pants."

"I know, at least I admit it." he shrugged. I sighed, shook my head and thought.

"I'm gonna go get Loki so he can attack you in the middle of the night." I put my book down.

"He's fine downstairs. He attacks me every time I move when he gets in his mood and I'd prefer not to wake up with scratches all over my body tomorrow."

I laughed, "Well, payback's a bitch." I said, getting up.

"Payback for what? I didn't even do anything!" he exclaimed. I just laughed and went downstairs to find Loki. It's always fun waking up in the middle of the night and hearing 'fuck, my arm' or the infamous 'my balls!' because Loki likes to jump around on him, too. The cheeky little devil comes in handy sometimes.

x x x

When I woke up to my alarm the next morning, I wasn't surprised when Owen's side of the bed was empty. He and Carl left this morning around 7:30am and it was already 8am. I didn't get much sleep because I was woken up a couple of times, once by Owen, when he woke up from a night terror, drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. He went to the bathroom before I could say anything and I fell asleep shortly after. I woke up another time when Loki was kneading and purring into my head. It was a nice head massage, but not at 4am. I kissed him on his little head and kicked him out of the room because mama needs her sleep.

So needless to say, I was a little grumpy this morning. I put on slippers and a cardigan before walking downstairs, going straight for some tea. It had a little caffeine in it, but not enough to hurt the baby and that's just what I needed. Especially since it dawned on me that I had to talk to my mom this morning, preferably before we get into the car together and drive to work.

"Morning honey," my mom gave her usual greeting with a hopeful smile as she walked into the kitchen. Through everything, even with me giving her the silent treatment, she always greeted me in the morning and told me she loved me whenever I left the house or the store. No fight we've had has ever made her stop doing that.

"Morning," I said, sounding more annoyed that I wanted to. I had a little bit of a headache, but the smell of the tea seemed to help as I blew on it.

My mom gave me a small smile, pouring herself a cup of coffee that was already pre-made from Carl, Owen, and Lowery this morning. I must have just missed Lowery too because this is around the time that he leaves.

I walked to the fridge and was thankful to see eggs in there - the last thing I wanted to do was go out in the 20-degree weather to get some from the girls in their heated chicken coup.

"Scrambled eggs okay?" I asked my mom, who was about to walk out of the room. She stopped and looked at me.

"That would be great," she smiled, sitting down at the island and taking one of her cooking magazines and opening it. That was the most I've given her the past couple of days. "Is there toast, too?" she asked and I could hear the smile on her face. I knew she was treading lightly, worried she'd say something wrong if she spoke.

I smiled, "Of course, wouldn't be complete without it." I said. She knows I've been craving toast recently, hell, everyone knows at this point. I cracked the eggs into a bowl and whisked them up. It was silent between us as I was cooking. I made two plates of eggs and toast and gave her a plate and sat next to her. The past couple of days I'd eat in the living room, or if she was in the living room, I'd eat in the kitchen. I could tell she was a little surprised I was sitting with her.

We ate in silence for a few minutes while I was working up the courage to finally say something.

"Mom-"

"Alise-"

We both said at the same time. It caused us both to smile and laugh.

"You go first, honey." she urged, putting her hand on my shoulder.

I nodded, "Well, I just wanted to apologize for not talking to you the past few days… I've just had a lot on my mind," I sighed. "And I'm really sorry for blowing up on you…"

My mom shook her head, "No, honey, don't apologize for that. I understand completely. I had too much to drink the other night and I was being completely insensitive. I should be the one that's apologizing. I was way out of line the other night and I'm sorry. I had no idea what happened between you and Jace and I feel terrible."

"Yeah, well, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I just wanted to forget about it…"

"But that was hard when your mother wouldn't stop talking about it?" she asked. I nodded. "I never wanted you to marry Jace over Owen and I'm so sorry it seems that way. You were too good for Jace. Owen is perfect, I wouldn't want it any other way." she smiled, reaching out to grab my hand and squeeze it.

I looked at her and smiled, letting out a sigh of relief. I'm glad we got passed this and things are looking up.

x x x

The past couple of weeks went by pretty quickly. I don't know what it was, but it just did. I was officially 1 week into my second trimester and I was able to tell. My baby bump is getting bigger day by day, my feet are even more swollen mid-way through the day (which means nightly foot rubs from my amazing husband), but I haven't started to crave charcoal yet, so that's a plus. I have been craving pickles though and I even tried the pickle and jam sandwich that Aspen has been raving about. I threw up. It was horrible.

Things with my mom were much better. Things were Carl were going well, as usual. Lowery had been looking into getting his own apartment, which hurt a little because I love picking on my little brother. What will I do when I get bored when he finds an apartment? Which is something I've said to him and he just called me a bitch. So, things were great between us too.

That leaves Owen and I. Things have been better since our fight, but I could still tell he was unhappy and that broke my heart. He seemed distant and I asked Carl how he's been doing and he says he's noticed Owen being distant as well, but he said it wasn't bad enough to worry. But of course, I'm worrying.

I took Lance's advice and have been doing as much as I can to stick to it. It's really hard because some nights I just wanna push him and get it out of him because I can tell he wants to talk, but he just holds back.

I can see why he might be unhappy. He didn't necessarily want to be in this situation - living in Colorado, but it's the only thing we've got right now and we both know it. I wanted to do something for him that connected him with the way things used to be. I wanted him to be able to do the things he used to do before the incident - things that made him happy.

That's why I used some of the money I saved up and bought him something I thought would make him happy. It took me a couple of weeks to find it, but I knew it'd be perfect.

So, when it was finally shipped here, I brought Owen into the garage, my hands covering his eyes as he slowly walked in front of me. It was a little difficult because he's so much taller than me and there's a big baby bump in between us, but I made it work.

"Why are you doing this?" he sighed. He hates surprises, especially when he had to be blinded for them, but I didn't really care. I love surprises.

"Oh hush, you baby," I laughed. I could feel him roll his eyes with a groan.

"I am not a baby," he mumbled.

I just smirked, lowering my hands from his eyes, which were still closed. "Okay, open!" I said. Owen opened his eyes and looked around the garage before laying eyes on the bike that was in one of the spots where Carl's car usually goes. I told him my idea to get Owen this bike and he didn't hesitate to give up his spot, thinking it was a great idea. "It's the same make and model of the one you had on the island, just a different color…" I said after trying to gauge his reaction. His jaw was open slightly and his eyes widened, clearly a little surprised.

"Wow… Alise, you didn't have to…"

"I know, I wanted to. I figured it'd give you something to do instead of watch TV with me, which I know you hate." I said, knowing he wasn't much of a TV fan. He barely watched it before we started dating and now that we're here, it's basically all we've been doing in our spare time. Either that or reading. There's not much you can do when it's freezing outside and snow on the ground most days - nothing that's appealing to someone who never grew up in the cold or around snow that is anyway.

"How much was this? If it was too much we-"

"It wasn't that expensive. I took it out of my savings, you don't need to worry. I didn't dip into our Charlie fund." I said, rubbing my stomach as I said her name. Pretty soon we might not even have to worry about money if the lawsuit pans out the way the lawyer is expecting, but we're still used to having the necessities over the wants.

Owen hasn't gotten himself much since we got married and had the baby to worry about. He wasn't much of a spender either way and was clearly a minimalist. I had to buy clothes for him because he wouldn't do it himself and that wasn't out of laziness - he didn't think he needed them. Which isn't the smartest of him because it's below freezing and he needs some thick jeans and thermal clothes - which he realized pretty quickly. He does look good in those fleece-lined flannels, I'll tell you that much.

"Carl said you could use his toolbox." I added.

Owen looked at me and smiled. "Thank you, baby, you're so thoughtful," he said as he kissed my lips lightly. I smiled at him when he pulled away. "I'll start workin' on it after dinner." he said with a genuine smile, not a forced one like I've seen the past couple of months. It was a genuine, happy smile. I couldn't be happier.

x x x

The next day, Lowery and I haven't really gone out and had that brother/sister bonding time in a while, so I figured why not go to the movies. We ended up seeing 'Dirty Grandpa' and Lowery had no choice in the matter. He thought we were seeing 'The Revenant', but I told him to go get popcorn and m&ms while I bought the tickets.

He's not usually into raunchy comedies like I am, but I could tell he liked it. It was just embarrassing watching Robert De Niro and Aubrey Plaza have sex with your younger brother.

"Robert is 41 years older than Aubrey, so I'll take that 20 now." I said, laughing as I locked my phone after looking up how old each of them were. I said he had to be like 40 years older than her and Lowery said 50.

"Dammit," Lowery shook his head.

"Overall that movie was pretty good. The sex scene with Rob had to be my favorite," I said seriously as I glanced over at him, unable to hide the smirk on my face. The whole time during that scene he was cringing and saying 'oh my god, no, this is just gross'. I said it just to get a rise out of him, but then again, when wasn't I trying to get a rise out of him.

"That's not surprising," he said, just as seriously as I did.

I squinted my brows. "Why?"

"Because of his age." he shrugged.

"Rob is like 45 years older than me! That's just gross!" I said. Lowery chuckled. "Why would you even think that I'd be interested in that?"

"You have a thing for older men." he said.

"No, I don't," I said, getting defensive.

"How old is Jace?" he asked, glancing over at me with his brows raised.

I raised my brows back at him and shook my head. Jace is 9 years older than me, but that's not that much older. People marry way older than them now, sometimes double their age. Given, they're mostly in Hollywood, but whatever. "Owen's only 4 years older than me." I said, avoiding answering that question because I knew he was right. He could never know that I knew that, though.

"Yeah, and what's a surprise to all of us." he laughed.

"All of who?!" I asked.

"Me, mom, Carl, Aspen…"

"Since when the hell are you talking to Aspen about my choice in men?" I retorted. Seriously, I know they talk here and there because he's like her little brother too, but why were they talking about my choice in men?

"At the Christmas Eve party. Look, all I'm saying is that you've got daddy issues and we all know it." he said.

"You have daddy issues too, you dick!" I said, hitting his arm.

He flinched and swatted back at me. "Don't do that while I'm driving!"

I rolled my eyes. "You're still a dick." I said, crossing my arms over my chest.

"I resent that."

"Of course you do, you resent everything."

"Only when you say it."

To that, I just smiled and laughed softly, looking out the window at the full moon and stars. Arguing with him was exhausting, but part of me loved it. It's just the way we show our love for each other. Stupid fights. The day we stop arguing is the day we stop loving each other.

"You know, I don't say this often, but I'm really proud of you," I said, looking over at him. I don't know why the thought just popped into my head, but it was true and I felt like I should say it.

"Yeah… why are you saying it?" he asked skeptically as if he were waiting for me to follow it up with something else, like a backhanded compliment.

"I don't know," I sighed. "I mean, me and my friends might make fun of you all the time for being a manchild, but when it comes down to it, you're really not. It's not just about what happened at Jurassic World because you really stepped up. But just in general. I'm proud to call you my little brother is all and I love you." I said, shaking his shoulder lightly with a small laugh.

"Thanks, Lise. It means a lot, hearing you say that. I always try to impress you, you know, but you never made me feel like I wasn't enough. Dad did that enough," he said, his voice falling.

"Dad made me feel the same way, but you know what, he's not here anymore to push you down. You've got me, mom, Carl and Owen to pick you back up. Owen really cares about you and loves you too. He just doesn't know how to show it like I do." I smiled.

"I don't think anyone shows their love the way you do. Name calling and all that." he chuckled.

"Terms of endearment I call 'em." I laughed. "And I say them all with love."

"I know," he laughed, slowing down at a red light, which turned green right before he came to a full stop. I smiled and looked down at my stomach, rubbing it gently.

"Wanna know what the name of your little niece is gonna be?" I asked, figuring it was a good time to tell him. I planned on telling him soon anyway.

Before I heard his answer, I saw blinding headlights coming straight for my window as a car blew the red light at the intersection and plowed right into the passenger's side door where I was sitting. Everything happened so fast and I was terrified, especially for Charlie.


	9. Chapter 9

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 9**

**Summary:**

After Alise and Lowery get into a car accident on the way home from seeing a movie, Alise is worried something happened to the baby. Owen overreacts as usual, but the accident puts things into perspective for them regarding life after Charlie is born. Meanwhile, Lucy and Lachlan have a surprise for Alise and Owen, leaving Alise shocked, but Owen already saw it coming.

* * *

_"Wanna know what the name of your little niece is gonna be?" I asked, figuring it was a good time to tell him. I planned on telling him soon anyway. Before I heard his answer, I saw blinding headlights coming straight for my window as a car blew the red light at the intersection and plowed right into the passenger's side door where I was sitting._

_All I heard was the sound of tires squeaking on the road as my body jerked to the side. I heard glass shatter as my head slammed into the window. My head throbbed as the car came to a stop. I looked down. My arm was stuck between the door and my seat and there was a huge dent in the car that shifted my body so I was nearly sitting on the console, even with my seat belt on tight._

_"Alise, are you okay?" Lowery's voice came from beside me. All I heard was a loud, screeching noise and ringing in my ears, the kind that you hear in movies whenever something horrific happens to the character. I felt like I was in a movie and I was that character. "Alise, can you hear me?" he said again. This time he grabbed my arm and shook it when I didn't say anything._

_I looked at him. The side of his face was bleeding and his glasses were cracked, but he was still focused on me. My thoughts were all scrambled as I was trying to process what just happened, then my eyes widened as I looked down at my stomach - it had blood on it._

"Charlie!" I practically screamed as I woke up in a panic, looking down at my stomach. I was in a hospital, under blankets and I scrambled to get them off to look at my stomach. My wrist was in a brace too and hurt like hell when I moved it, but that didn't stop me. I was worried something was wrong.

"Alise!" I heard Lowery's voice from beside me as his hands grabbed my wrist that wasn't in the brace. "Alise… it's okay. Charlie's okay." he said calmly. I immediately let out a sigh of relief and relaxed into the hospital bed. I noticed he had stitches above his left eye and wasn't wearing his glasses.

"Your head-"

"-is fine. How are you doing?"

"I'm good…" I let out a sigh, even though that was far from the truth. "I'm just glad Charlie's okay."

"Me too," Lowery said as he grabbed my hand. I smiled at him.

"What do you mean I can't go in there? I'm her damn husband!" I heard Owen's voice from outside the room. The door was closed so his voice was muffled, but I knew it was him and he sounded pissed.

"The doctor still hasn't checked her out yet…" the nurse explained calmly.

"Well, get a doctor right now because I'm gonna make sure my wife is okay," he said, then opened the door. "Alise…" he said, rushing over to me and giving me a hug. I held onto him tight, his arms embracing me seemed to calm the nerves in my stomach and I relaxed almost immediately. He pulled away, grabbing my face in his hands and kissing my forehead. "I'm so glad you're okay. Charlie is too, right?" he asked. I could see the worry in his eyes as they started to tear up.

"She's just fine." I smiled, rubbing my stomach. Owen put his hand on my stomach and let out a sigh of relief.

"You're never driving again," he said seriously.

"Owen, I wasn't even driving," I rolled my eyes, throwing my head back into the pillows. Here we go, over exaggerating as usual.

"Then Lowery's never driving you anywhere again." he said, looking directly at him with piercing eyes.

"I'm a good driver. The other driver was texting!" Lowery defended himself.

"Where is he? I'll kill that guy," Owen said. I reached out and grabbed his hand.

"Owen…" I said, trying to calm him down.

"Mrs. Grady, how are you feeling? I'm Dr. Batton." the doctor said as he walked into the room. Perfect timing too because Owen was about to have a fit.

Dr. Batton checked me out, told me I had a concussion and a broken wrist. I also had a cut on my right eyebrow from when the window blew out, but that was all stitched up. I have a few cuts on my stomach and a nasty bruise from the seat belt, but nothing too serious. I have to get a cast put on my wrist and they had the brace on there in the meantime because they wanted me awake when they did it. Since I'm pregnant, they wanted to keep me overnight for observation.

Of course, my parents came to make sure we were okay, but they left with Lowery around midnight because I told them they didn't have to stay. Aspen and Lance came even though it was after visiting hours, but she told them she was 7 months pregnant and not taking 'no' for an answer and they let her in real quick, probably already knowing how bad the wrath of a pregnant woman could be. Owen and Lance took a walk while Aspen and I talked then they left about an hour later. Around 2, I tried to convince Owen to go home and get some rest because he was falling asleep on the uncomfortable chair by the bed, but he refused. Part of me was glad he did stay because I wanted the company.

x x x

The next day, they released me from the hospital and I was able to go home. Dr. Batton said I should do minimal activities for the next week just to be cautious. Owen and I were flying to San Diego to meet our lawyer and Masrani Global lawyers in a week and Dr. Batton said I was in the clear to fly. They ran all the tests to make sure Charlie is okay, and she is.

Apparently, Owen didn't like that answer, so he took it upon himself to make an appointment with my doctor who I've been seeing throughout my pregnancy for the day after the accident, which is today. I didn't have another follow-up appointment with Dr. Mckenzie for another 2 weeks, but of course, Owen didn't care. He was worried about Charlie and me flying and he didn't want me to go - so he wanted to find someone who agreed with him, and since it wasn't Dr. Batton, he hoped it'd be Dr. Mckenzie.

"I know it's better to be safe than sorry, but the doctor said she was fine. I don't know why you're making us see Dr. Mckenzie, she'll just say the same exact thing." I said to Owen as we got out of the car and walked towards the building.

"I know that quack doctor from the E.R. said Charlie was fine, but I want her checked out by your doctor. He easily could have missed something that tells us you shouldn't be flying."

I couldn't help but laugh, "He wasn't a quack doctor, Owen. But if this makes you feel better, then fine. Just know that when she tells you I'm fine to fly, I'll be the first to tell you I'm right." I said.

"I just think it'll be better if you stay home…" Owen said, opening the door for me.

"I know that you think that, but you need me there. Think of all the paperwork you'll have to fill out, all the random people you'll have to talk to about the incident, it's a lot of stuff that you're not going to like." I explained, walking towards the elevator.

"You might be right on that, but Charlie's more important." Owen said sternly, clearly not backing down. He was a stubborn one that Owen Grady.

I sighed, knowing I couldn't argue with him on that. "You're right baby, Charlie is more important," I said, grabbing his hand and lacing our fingers together. "I still think she'll say I'm fine." I couldn't help but add.

"If I told you to shut up would you punch me in the dick?" he asked, brows raised.

"Is that even a question?" I said, raising my brows back at him.

"Then I love you," he said, grabbing my head with one hand and kissing my forehead.

I just laughed and shook my head. "I love you too, crazy."

x x x

As predicted, Dr. Mckenzie said I was clear to fly. She did a full examination, as per Owen's request. He still didn't like the idea of it, but he knew he really couldn't stop me from going now. Plus, we had planned to make a weekend out of it. One of his best friends from the Navy, Tim Walker, lives in San Francisco with his family and he invited us to stay with them for a couple of days. I was excited to meet one of Owen's friends because the only friend of his I've met in person was Barry. Most of his friends live in different places in the world because most of his friends were either in the Navy or still are.

After our appointment, we went to get lunch and then went back home and watched a couple of episodes of Game of Thrones (we're on season 4 now) and then we went to Aspen and Lance's house because they invited us over for dinner.

We had just finished eating and Aspen and I were still in the dining room talking while the boys brought the plates in the kitchen.

Aspen asked me how I was doing in regards to Charlie, who I've been worried about - not worrying in the sense that something was going to happen to her, it goes deeper than that. I was trying to explain that to Aspen and by the look on her face, she understood where I was coming from completely.

"I was just so scared for Charlie and I realized it wasn't just because she could have gotten seriously hurt, but because I just thought what would she do if something happened to Owen and me? I mean, you, Lance and Lowery are her godparents, but once we get all that money, she's gonna go through hell with the legal system to get it." I explained, letting out a frustrated sigh.

"You should make a will." Aspen said simply.

I raised my brows, "Isn't that something you do when your baby is actually born?"

"Not necessarily," Lance said as he walked into the room with Owen in tow, both of them had a beer in their hand and Lance our a glass of chocolate milk in front of Aspen and Owen gave me a glass of what looked like iced tea. I smiled as Lance continued. "Aspen and I are thinking of making one too, we're going in a couple of weeks to meet with lawyers. You two should definitely come. It'll help alleviate some of the stress and worry."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's a good idea."

"We should do it after we see how the lawsuit pans out, so we have an idea of what we're getting." Owen suggested, sitting down across from me and next to Lance.

"Yeah, I can't believe you two are getting a milli each, that's insane!" Aspen gushed.

"That's what our lawyer thinks anyway." I said, shifting uncomfortably as I adjusted my shoulder. This cast and sling is a pain in the ass, especially with how it interferes with my growing belly. As if I weren't already uncomfortable in general being pregnant, of course, I broke my arm on top of it, so double the discomfort.

"Yeah, I'm not too sure about how much we'll actually get, but somethin's better than nothin'." Owen shrugged, taking a sip of his beer, then I remembered something our lawyer mentioned that completely slipped my mind until now.

"Oh right, before I forget, our lawyer says we should get professional documentation about what we've gone through emotionally since the incident and I thought I'd ask you, Lance."

"Of course, whatever you need. But you do know this would mean you both had to get officially diagnosed with the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder and what other ailments you may have." He explained.

"So what does that entail?" I asked, a little worried that Owen would run for the hills upon hearing that.

"Just a thorough sit down in my office. Basic questions, you'll have to talk to me about the event and how it's affected you in your day-to-day life."

I bit my lip and looked at Owen, I mean I'd be okay with doing all of that, it was Owen who needed to agree. He pressed his lips together, taking a slow sip of his beer before nodding his head. "If it'll help the case so we can have money for Charlie, I'm willin' to do it." I couldn't help but let out a sigh of relief when he said that.

"Okay, so we'll set up an appointment as soon as possible. You're leaving in about a week, yeah?" Lance asked.

I nodded. "Yeah. I totally should have asked you earlier, but then the car accident and it's just been a hectic couple of weeks."

Lance shook his head. "No need to apologize, love. I got you covered."

"Now that we're all good with that, mama wants some Dairy Queen!" Aspen said, standing up. I glanced over at her glass of chocolate milk, which was already empty.

I beamed at the idea of it. I could totally go for cookie dough, brownies, and m&ms. "Oh! Yeah! Baby wants some too." I said.

Owen scoffed and chucked. "You use that excuse for everything."

I glared at him, "It's not an excuse, Owen. I'm literally eating for two and she has a sweet tooth."

"I'll start the car!" Aspen called from the other room.

"Alright, Alright. I didn't mean it like that." Owen defended, looking over at Lance for support.

"Never tell a pregnant woman that, mate." Lance said, patting Owen's back.

"Now I'll know for next time," Owen rolled his eyes, taking a sip of his beer. I rolled my own eyes and walked over towards the front door to get my coat. "And I'm driving!"

I rolled my eyes again but laughed. I should have seen that one coming.

x x x

We meet with Lance at different times during the week leading up to the trip. Owen went the day before me and I asked him how it went. He didn't give me much, aside from a shrug and "it was fine". I decided not to push. I knew he didn't like the idea of it to begin with and the last thing I wanted to do was annoy him even more about it. I was surprised when he asked me after my session how it went, so I told him. I was more open about it than he was clearly and I told him how it went and said it was nice to be able to talk about it. I also told him I was thinking of going to therapy and he said it's a good idea. I said if he wanted to come along with me one day he could and he said "Sure, I'll think about it" and it wasn't a forced answer. It actually seemed like he would think about it, which is good. This was all a step in the right direction.

We just made it to our hotel room in San Diego after our flight, getting in around 10pm. We had the meeting tomorrow at 10am and then we were going to spend the rest of the day around San Diego and I really want to go to the zoo, so I talked Owen into it. We'll spend the night in the hotel and leave for Tim's house early the next morning. It was a 7 and a half hour drive and Owen wanted to get it done in one-shot, but I knew I'd have to stop to pee and get food so that wouldn't really work out to his advantage.

I had just laid down on the comfortable bed when my phone vibrated in my back pocket. I lifted up my back, which was harder with what felt like a bowling ball on my stomach, not to mention the cast I was lugging around on my arm. I smiled when I saw it was a text from Lucy, who I had been texting before the flight earlier. She said she had a date with Lachlan later, so now I was guessing.

"Oh my god..." My eyes widened and my jaw dropped and gasped when I saw a picture of her and Lachlan on the Riverwalk in Chicago. Lucy was standing there with her hands over her mouth and Lachlan was standing on one knee with a box in his hand, which was most definitely a ring.

"What?" Owen asked as he walked out of the bathroom.

"Lachlan proposed to Lucy!" I exclaimed, immediately Facetiming her.

"Hey Alise!" she smiled when she answered, she had the biggest smile on her face.

"Let me see!" I exclaimed, referring to her ring. She knew exactly what I saw talking about because she flashed me the big diamond on a silver band. "It's beautiful!" I said, tilting the phone over to Owen, who sat in the bed next to me to get a look.

"I know, I love it!" she said, looking at it fondly.

"I can't believe she said yes!" I heard Lachlan's voice as he picked her up and spin her around. "Kick me in the balls so I know I'm not dreaming!" he said.

"No! I need those!" Lucy giggled. Owen and I both laughed.

"Right, what else would you play with when you're down there?" Lachlan said, looking at Lucy with a smirk.

Lucy smacked his arm. "Lachlan!"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, I miss you guys," I said before thinking about what Lachlan said. "And you're right, Lach. It gets boring down there without something to play with." I said, smirking. I said it just to get a rise out of Lucy, who shook her head.

"You guys are gross,"

"It's okay baby, you don't have to admit you like playing with my balls." Lachlan said, kissing her cheek.

"Lachlan, we're in public!" Lucy scolded.

"So what?" Lachlan asked. "I just got engaged to the woman I love!" he yelled to the people off camera, who congratulated them. "And she loves playing with my balls!" he added, but not as loud as before. I laughed again and Owen scoffed.

"You do know we're not married yet and I can give you this ring back?" Lucy said, looking at him seriously.

"Don't do that to me. I don't know what I'd do without you! You're my world!" he said overdramatically.

"Yeah, well, 'your world' is about to shove you into the river." Lucy laughed.

"It's so cold my balls might actually fall off!" he exclaimed.

"Should I let you go so you can go warm up Lachlan's balls?" I asked Lucy with my brows raised.

"He can warm them up himself," she said, then looked over to Lachlan, who was now off camera. "Don't put your hand in your pants, I was kidding!"

I laughed. "What did you expect? You gave him permission," I said. Lucy shook her head and sighed. "Go tame your child."

"Oh god, what did I get myself into," Lucy laughed. I laughed and glanced at Owen, who was shaking his head with a smirk, clearly amused by their usual shenanigans. "No but really, I'm so happy. My stomach is all bubbly - but that good kind of bubble, that excited bubble. It feels so unreal like I'm in some kind of dream!" she said in awe, then I saw Lachlan pinch her cheeks. "I'm awake, I'm awake!" she laughed. Lachlan chuckled and kissed her cheek before disappearing off camera again.

"Wanna know how he did it?" Lucy asked.

"Yes! Tell me!" I said, excited to hear this.

"Well, we were walking along the Riverwalk when he stopped and told me he had a really deep wedgie and was picking it out. I just rolled my eyes and looked the other way, thinking how gross he was, but I still love him regardless obviously. Then he said my name and I looked over and he was on one knee and he said that I was his best friend and he loves me and wants to spend forever with me and of course, I said yes!"

I laughed. "I wouldn't expect anything less to be honest." It totally sounded like a Lachlan type of proposal.

"I came up with the idea all by myself!" Lachlan beamed, coming into view again.

"I'm sure you did and you did a great job, Lach." I said.

"That means I'm a good boy? Do I get a treat?" he grinned at Lucy.

"We'll get you a treat, don't you worry baby." Lucy said, patting his head. Then Lachlan barked like a dog.

"On that note…" I couldn't help but laugh as Lucy rolled her eyes at him. "You two enjoy this moment! I'm so happy for you!"

"Yeah, congratulations. Lachlan, you got a good one. Don't do anything to screw it up." Owen said seriously, then gave a small chuckle to indicate that he was joking, but I knew it was only partly. He was being completely serious.

"I wouldn't dream of it." Lachlan smiled at her fondly. Lucy got lost in his eyes for a second and I couldn't help but smile.

"Well, thanks you two! We love you!" Lucy said once she snapped out of it.

"We love you too!" I said, hearing Lachlan mumble something off camera, but I didn't quite catch what it was.

"You idiot!" Lucy laughed before ending the call.

"They're too cute!" I said, looking at Owen. "Are you surprised at all that he proposed?" I asked because I didn't sense any bit of shock from him.

"Nope. He showed me the ring last time we saw them. He asked if he should do it and I told him to go for it because she loves him and will definitely say yes."

"Aw, look at you being all inspirational." I smirked.

"You surprised?" he raised his brow at me.

"A little. Not that she said yes because I know she loves him, but she has her 5-year-plan down to the last detail. This was something she didn't expect. I guess what life is though, full of surprises. Plus, I never imagined Lachlan settling down when I first met him. The free-Willy ladies man that he is. He's so much different than he was before she stole his heart…"

"I didn't imagine settling down or marriage until I met you, but you stole my heart and took it hostage." he said, a smile growing on his face.

I laughed, "Yup and you're never getting it back," I said, thinking about what he said. "And I never thought I'd be able to find true love, but I found it in you and I'm so glad I did. I have to thank Lowery for getting me that job in the first place if it weren't for him, we wouldn't have met."

"I'd like to blame that Hiscock guy. If he never broke your heart, you wouldn't have come to the island. You know I'll take care of your heart more than that prick ever could." he said, staring right into my eyes.

I smiled, nodding. "I know. I trust you baby." I said, grabbing his hand.

"All in, remember?" he said, kissing my forehead.

"All in. Forever." I smiled, leaning up to kiss him.


	10. Chapter 10

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 10**

**Summary:**

Alise and Owen go to San Diego to meet with Masrani Global lawyers and run into Claire. They catch up over lunch when Claire tells them she plans on using the settlement money to start the Dinosaur Protection Group. After that, they go to Northern California to meet up with Owen's friend from the Navy and they realize they love it there, perhaps a little more than they like Colorado.

* * *

The flight to San Diego wasn't bad and it was only about 3 hours. It was a little uncomfortable with the cast, but I ditched the sling because it was just getting in the way of my belly. I did have to get up every 30 minutes to pee, but I purposefully got an aisle seat close to the bathroom. Owen made fun of me every time I got up, but he's not pregnant so he can suck it.

We got to the hotel around 9pm, but pregnancy already makes me so tired, add the fact that I was traveling on top of that and I was falling asleep in the car. Traveling makes Owen tired, too, so we were both ready for bed the second we walked into the room. Well, I had to pee first, but then I collapsed on the bed and fell asleep almost immediately after. Of course, that didn't last long. I was tossing and turning most of the night, but that's not really anything new since I got pregnant.

We had our appointment the next day with Masrani lawyers at 10am, then we were going to stay in San Diego for the night because the day after that we're going to visit Owen's friend from the Navy, Tim Walker, who lives in Concord, California, which is about an hour away from San Francisco. It was about a 7 and a half hour drive and Owen wanted to do it in one shot, but of course, we would have to stop for food and bathroom breaks. We were going to be staying with them for a couple of days before flying back to the Denver airport. He hasn't seen Tim (or as he calls him, "Walker") since he got out of the Navy, which was a long time ago.

The next morning, I got woken up by Owen around 8am when he walked into the room with a brown paper bag and two to go cups in his hands.

"One of those better be hot chocolate or I'm gonna punch you in the dick." I said, rubbing the drool off my face.

"So fiesty this morning," he chuckled and smirked, handing me one of the cups and opening up the paper bag. "You're not coming anywhere near my dick."

"Even if I want some sausage for breakfast?" I winked, blowing on the hot chocolate and taking a sip. Owen chuckled and handed me the breakfast sandwich when I nearly spit out the drink. "It's tea!" I coughed at the unexpected taste. It wasn't bad and I could deal with tea, I was just expecting hot chocolate.

"Doctor said you need to have less sugar, remember? Tea is better for you. I got extra honey, just the way you like it." He said. I groaned as I unwrapped the egg sandwich.

"First coffee, now hot chocolate. This is fucked." I said.

"It's all for Charlie." he reminded me.

"Yeah, yeah. This little girl is already high maintenance and she's not even born yet." I scoffed, taking a bite of the sandwich.

"Just like her mama." He laughed, sitting down at the table.

"I am not high maintenance…" I said, a little shocked that he'd even say that as I'm not.

"Whatever you say baby." he said with a mouthful of whatever sandwich he had.

I rolled my eyes, "Dick," I mumbled. Then it hit me all of a sudden. "I have to pee!" I exclaimed, realizing just now how much I had to. Owen chuckled and shook his head, refraining from making a comment like I could tell he wanted to. It was good that he didn't, because I'm sure whatever he said really would earn him a punch in the dick.

x x x

I was surprised that we ran into Claire on our way into our appointment and she said she was just on her way out of her meeting with the lawyers. The first thing she did was ask if I was okay and what happened to my arm, then once that was all cleared up, she said she had a flight back home later today, but that we should definitely get lunch if we have time, and we did, so after our meeting with Masrani lawyers, we were going to meet up with her for lunch.

The meeting went the way our lawyer said it would - we talked to their lawyers, told them the story of what happened and how it's affected us, did some paperwork and then we left. Our lawyer said we'll know how much money we're getting by the end of the week. He said these things take time and there's usually a lot of meetings to reach a settlement. He's still firm on the fact that we could get a million each, so we're still hoping that's true.

We went to the cafe to meet Claire and we saw her on line waiting to order her food. We greeted her and got our food before finding a table. It was a little awkward at first, seeing as we've never really hung out outside of work before, but her and Owen obviously talked outside of work and they were together during the incident, so I tried to look past it. We made small talk at first, which I know Owen hated, but he'd have to get over it.

"So, I see congratulations are in order..." Claire said, pointing to the ring in my finger.

I smiled and nodded, chewing on my turkey, swiss and spinach sandwich, swallowing before I answered. "Yeah, we got eloped the day after what happened, it just felt like the right time..."

Claire smiled, putting a fork into her salad. "Well, that's great, I'm really happy for you two."

I smiled, "Thank you."

"So, what have you two been up to? How's the baby?" she asked, filling up the pending silence.

"Charlie's good,' Owen said with a mouthful of his roast beef sandwich. I glanced at him and he swallowed, I didn't even need to say anything for him to realize how rude that was. I was happy he was involving himself in the conversation instead of just ignoring us though.

"Oh, that's her name? Charlie is such a wonderful name. I'm assuming it's after Charlie? You were all pretty close. Like family even." Claire said.

I could tell Owen tense up a little bit when she said that, but he nodded his head and replied with a "Yeah."

"That's exactly why we're naming her Charlie. It fits perfectly." I said, picking up the slack for Owen. He hates small talk and would prefer to avoid it all around. Claire nodded and smiled, taking another bite of her salad. "So, what have you been up to?"

"I've just been living in Madison with my sister for the time being while I figure everything out. The situation was just so… jolting and off-putting. Once the settlement money comes in, I know what I'm doing."

"And what's that?" Owen asked, this time after he swallowed his food.

"I'm going to start a group called the Dinosaur Protection Group, DPG for short. I've been working out all the details with a friend while I wait, but it's basically about fighting for their rights. What about you two? What are you going to do with the settlement money?" she asked.

"We're thinking of buying a house and we're putting a lot into savings for Charlie." I answered, taking another bite of my sandwich and washing it down with water. I'm gonna miss the hot chocolate (I can have it on occasion, but I've been drinking way too much as of late so I needed a break), but the last thing I want is gestational diabetes and the doctor is closely monitoring me for that, so no more hot cocoa for me. That, and I need to keep my amniotic fluids up because it's lower than it should be.

"Where would you get a house?" Claire asked curiously. I paused, looking over at Owen. We hadn't really talked about that yet.

"We're not really sure yet." He answered.

"Hell, maybe we'll buy two houses if our lawyer can work his magic like he says he can." I joked, laughing.

Claire laughed. "Yeah, hopefully, they will."

I smiled, taking another bite of my sandwich as I thought more about the dinosaurs. I wondered what they're doing with them now and I figure if anyone knows, it's probably Claire. "So do you know what they're doing with the dinosaurs now?"

"I don't know for sure, but I have a few ideas of what they will do." she said.

"I think they should just release them and let them live on their own without fences and just let them be." I thought out loud. Claire gave me a big nod.

"That's exactly what I was thinking, that's what I'm going to propose once the DPG gets off the ground." she said.

"That's such a great idea. I've kept up with some groups on Twitter and Facebook that talk about their rights, but I feel like there's no one that's actually fighting for them, you know?" I said.

Claire nodded again. "Exactly. They have a voice and I'm going to make sure they're heard."

"Well, I'd love to help in any way that I can, should you need any help." I offered with a smile.

"Thank you. I'll definitely take you up on that offer, I'll need all the help I can get." she smiled back.

"I'm sure Owen would love to help too," I said, glancing over at him. He looked over and gave me a confused look and just by that look I could tell he was totally spacing out. Like he always does whenever Lowery and I are talking about the dinosaurs. "I said you'd love to help with the DPG when it gets off the ground." I repeated.

Owen nodded. "Yeah, sure." he said, but I could tell it was somewhat forced.

"Lowery would love to as well, he's always talked about what's best for them." I said, looking back at Claire, not dwelling on how detached Owen seemed at the moment.

"Oh, I remember that very well," she laughed. "I've come around quite a bit. The event really put things into perspective for me. It really helped me connect back to my roots and I remembered why I started working at Jurassic World in the first place."

"And why was that?" Owen asked. I could tell he was a little shocked by her admission.

"To appreciate them as a gift and treat them with the respect they deserve. I didn't do that for such a long time and I lost myself. They deserve so much better than what I gave them." Claire said, looking down a little as she said the last sentence.

"Glad you see it my way." Owen said. I glared at him because it was a little rude to say, but I think it's just the way it came across. He's unintentionally rude sometimes, even to me, so I knew it was nothing against Claire.

"You did the best that you could. You had a lot riding on you, Claire..." I reassured her. I never once blamed her for what happened and I don't think anyone should just because of her job title. There were things that were done that were out of her hands.

"It's okay, Alise. I've come to terms with it. This is a new start, a new chapter. I'm excited to see what's on the next page." she said confidently.

I smiled. "That's a good way to think of it."

Claire smiled and nodded, looking at her phone when it lit up. "Oh my gosh, is that really the time? I've got a 5 o'clock flight…"

"I'll get your number from Owen and text you so you have mine." I said.

"Great, it was really nice to see you two again and catch up. I'll keep you posted about the DPG." she smiled.

"Great! It was so nice to see you too, have a safe flight!" I said, getting up to give her a hug.

She did save my husbands life twice as well as everyone on the island after letting the T-Rex out to fight the Indominus. I've kind of wanted to give her a hug since then, to be honest, to thank her for everything, as well as to comfort her, I mean, she went through a lot. If I suffered trauma from the event, I could only imagine what she'd be going through.

"Oh, thank you," she said, sounding a little surprised. I smiled and pulled away, right as Owen got up.

"Bye Claire." he said, giving her a hug of his own, which surprised me. I was expecting a handshake, and she probably was too, because the shock was written all over her face.

"We'll talk soon!" Claire said after Owen pulled away.

"Bye!" I smiled and waved as she walked away and Owen sat back down next to me. "Well that was nice, you actually hugged her too." I smirked, taking the last bite of my sandwich and washing it down with water.

"She saved my life, it's the least I could do. Plus, you hugged her and I would have felt like a dick if I didn't." he shrugged.

I laughed. "So, what do you think of the DPG?" I asked, opening my bag of chips. I was wondering since his reaction when I offered his help earlier and he seemed detached.

Owen paused and thought. "It's an idea." he said almost reluctantly.

"So you'd help out with it?" I asked, my brows raised.

"I don't know about that."

"Owen," I sighed.

"What?" He asked defensively. "It'd be a lot of stuff to deal with, especially with Charlie..." he trailed off, looking over at me. I just looked at him with my brows raised and he sighed. "I'll help if I can."

I smiled. "That's the spirit! Let's get out of here, baby wants some ice cream." I said, taking one last sip of my water before standing up.

Owen chuckled and shook his head, standing up. "Whatever Charlie wants."

x x x

The next morning we got up at 7, stopped for breakfast and were on the road by 8:30. We stopped for lunch in Los Angeles around 11 and spent a few hours there, so we got to Concord around 7pm, just in time for dinner.

"Walker, how ya been man?" Owen asked as he greeted his friend when we made it onto his front porch.

"I've been pretty good, Grady," Tim said as they shook hands in a firm handshake and patted each other on the back. "Long time no see, bro. You must be Alise," he said, looking at me as I walked up the steps. "Tim Walker."

"Nice to finally meet you, Tim. I've heard quite a bit about you." I couldn't help but laugh a little. I know I shouldn't have, but Owen told me a few stories about him and he was the rebel of the group in the Navy, always doing something he shouldn't be. It's why he and Owen got along so much, they got into trouble together for the most part.

"What kind of lies is this asshole tellin' you? I've got a few stories of Owen I'm sure you'll love to hear."

"No, she doesn't wanna hear any of those stories." Owen shook his head as we followed Tim inside.

"Fuck you, Grady. Your wife and I are gonna have plenty to talk about after dinner and you can't do jack shit about it," Tim said with amusement in his voice. Owen just scoffed and rolled his eyes and I looked at the two of them with a smirk. I think I like this guy. "Want anything to drink? I've got some tequila."

"Tim, are you really offering a pregnant woman tequila?" a woman's voice came from the kitchen as Tim headed for the bar in the living area. She followed us into the living area.

"I hadn't even noticed," Tim said as he took two glasses and put them on the counter, pouring the tequila into them. He said it in a semi-joking way. You could obviously tell I was pregnant, unless if he was insinuating he thought I looked fat, then maybe I don't like him as much as I thought.

The woman, who I'm assuming is his wife Aaliyah, just shook her head and rolled her eyes. "He's not calling you fat if that's what you're thinking. He's just trying to be funny and failing at it. I'm Aaliyah by the way," she said, wiping her hands on the apron and just then I smelt the food that was cooking and it smelled delicious.

"Alise, it's nice to meet you." I smiled.

"Come into the kitchen, we'll leave the boys and get something non-alcoholic to drink." Aaliyah smiled, nodding her head towards the kitchen. I smiled and followed along.

They were both very welcoming and we had dinner with their two children, Maia, who was 2 and Timmy, who was 1. They had their hands full with the two of them, especially because Timmy was going through a phase where he didn't want to eat anything besides Mac and cheese and chocolate milk and had no interest in the chicken parm Aaliyah cooked for us.

Owen was great with Maia and Timmy through our time there and that made me have a good feeling about the future with Charlie.

On our last night there, we went to Aaliyah and Tim's lake house, which was only about a 40-minute drive from their house, because Tim mentioned the sunset was great there because it's right at the top of the mountain. Of course, Owen couldn't turn that down, with his soft spot for sunsets and sunrises. I've grown to love them too and appreciate their beauty, just like Owen does.

My mom had texted me a long string of texts throughout the day that I finally opened when I was sitting on the front porch, waiting for Owen to bring out some hot chocolate because I've been good with my sugar intake, so a little hot chocolate is deserved.

The texts started at 10 this morning and none of the texts related to each other, but that's not surprising when it comes to my mother. One was about the shop and a rude customer, the other asking how our time in California has been, another about how Carl's mother was coming for dinner and she was asking if it was okay to poison the food (his mother is a nightmare). She reasoned that poisoning the food was probably not the smartest idea in the following text, and the last one was telling me her and Carl have talked about it and I should use the office for Charlie's nursery, should Owen and I choose to stay after Charlie is born.

"Hey, I said no phones." Owen scolded, holding the mug out for me.

"Hold on, I just have to share this picture I took of your dick on Facebook and Instagram…" my voice trailed off as I was texting my mom back, telling her I was with Owen and I'd call her in the morning.

"You have a picture of my dick?" he asked, his brows raised as he sat next to me on the porch swing.

I looked at him with a smirk, putting my phone into my lap. "Maybe." I shrugged, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

"At least let me see so I know you took it at the right angle," he said. I raised my brows at him. "What? From some angles, it looks small. Same thing with your stomach." he shrugged as he took a sip of his hot chocolate nonchalantly.

"I seriously can't believe you just said that you dick," I said, punching his arm. "You're lucky I love you or I'd pour my hot chocolate on your balls." I said, blowing on the hot chocolate with a smirk.

"Are you sure it's because you love me or you love the hot chocolate?" he asked.

"Mmm, the hot chocolate is pretty good," I mused, taking a sip. Owen just raised his brows at me curiously as if he were waiting for the real answer. "Of course I love you more, what do you take me for? But you just called my stomach big."

"I was just statin' a fact," he defended. I just squinted my eyes at him and rolled my eyes, to which he chuckled and wrapped his arm around my shoulder, pulling me close to him.

A shiver went down my spine as the cool breeze blew, giving me goosebumps on my arms, even though I was wearing a cardigan. It was colder up in northern California, especially towards the mountains, which was where we were now.

"It's beautiful here," I let out a sigh of contentment as we both watched the sun setting.

"It is," Owen nodded in agreement. "Seems like a nice place to retire. Build a cabin." he said with a shrug, taking a sip of hot chocolate.

I looked up at him and smiled. "It seems like a great place to build a cabin." I said, resting my head on his shoulder as he pulled me closer to him. I could get used to sunsets like this in northern California and it seems like he can too.


	11. Chapter 11

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 11**

**Summary:**

Something happens to Aspen that could potentially affect her baby and Alise is stuck in San Diego until her flight leaves and all she wants to do is be by her best friends side. It makes her worry about things that could happen to Charlie before she's born and it worries her to the point that it's affecting her everyday life. She goes to Aspen for advice and Aspen drops a truth bomb on Alise, but she's not ready to face the truth.

* * *

The next morning, I woke up to the familiar smell of pancakes and bacon. I opened my eyes, surprised by my surroundings. For a second I was transported back to Isla Nublar and I expected to open my eyes to see Owen's bungalow. It was a pure moment of bliss like I'd forgotten everything that happened and things were back to the way they were before the horrific incident. Back to the way they should be.

Then, the reality hit me like a freight train and I put my hand on my stomach. I let out a disappointed sigh. I don't know why I was disappointed really. I guess it was just that I was so happy back then - we both were. Now things were different and I've come to terms with that. It was just nice to forget about everything that happened momentarily and I wish things were different. As simple and as easy as they were before the incident. There was one thing, however, that I didn't wish was different and that was our little angel that was growing inside of me.

It was at this moment I realized it was her that was giving me the strength to continue on, her that got me out of bed in the morning. Of course, it was also Owen, because, without him, I don't know what I'd do.

Speaking of my angel, my stomach was starting to growl and a sudden wave of nausea hit me. "Alright, Charlie, mama's gettin' food," I said, getting myself out of bed.

I rushed to the bathroom, but not because I was going to throw up - morning sickness went away after the first trimester. I had to pee, really bad. Even though I woke up an hour ago with the same issue, but I drank some water before going back to sleep. Also, this little baby is pushing all of my organs together, so my bladder has a lot of pressure on it and I can definitely feel it.

"There's a sight I don't see too often," I said with a smirk as I walked into the kitchen of Tim's cabin. Owen was at the stove cooking pancakes, shirtless. He did have pants on because it was a little chilly, but I still enjoyed this view a lot.

"Yeah, well, I don't want your mom to get turned on by the view," he smirked, turning the stove off and bringing a plate of pancakes to the table, which had fresh strawberries and bacon laid out on it.

"Owen, gross!" I exclaimed, taking a bite of bacon, sighing at the taste. Much better than turkey bacon. Sometimes it's okay to cheat a little bit, plus, we're on vacation. We deserve it.

"What? I can't help it that I'm so attractive," he said simply, putting the pancakes on the table and walking over to the counter to get something else.

"Keep talking like that and it'll make you less attractive," I said, bringing some pancakes on my plate as well as a few strawberries.

"Nothing can make me less attractive, Alise, you know this already," he said confidently, amusement in his voice.

I rolled my eyes, "Well, you're right. Especially when you clench your ass like that," I mumbled as I chewed the bacon and cut the pancakes. Owen chuckled and shook his head, bringing over a mug of tea for me. "Have I told you how much I love you?" I smiled, taking a sip. It was the perfect temperature.

"You say it enough." he sassed back with a smirk, sitting across from me and started making his own plate.

"Well, I love you, I love you, I love you, and I love you. That too much for you?" I smirked. Owen rolled his eyes as he shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth, probably so he didn't have to answer me. I laughed as I poured syrup on my pancakes and took a bite. "Y'know, I could totally go for some sausage right now…" I smirked at him. I say this every morning we're alone (and sometimes when my parents are in the other room, but that's just to get a rise out of him) and he knows I'm not joking.

Owen raised his brows, glancing at his watch. "We have to leave for our flight in about an hour, so finish your pancakes and bacon and I'll give you a little if you're good," he smirked.

"Only if I'm good, what will you do if I'm bad?" I smirked.

"Then no sausage for you," he said simply.

"Oh, come on, not even a little taste?" I asked with my brows raised.

He looked at me for a second. "Just hurry up and finish," he said impatiently. I laughed and did as I was told because I really wanted that sausage.

x x x

After I got a little sausage (and then some), I was getting out of the shower when Aspen called me. Owen and I were leaving for the airport in 10 minutes, so I had her on speaker as I towel-dried my hair and got dressed, struggling in the process because I have this damn cast on my arm that gets in the way of everything. I need help to do a lot of things I normally wouldn't need help with, like getting dressed. But I have way too much pride to ask Owen to dress me like a freaking doll, even though he has offered in the past after watching me struggle for a bit. The pregnant belly doesn't help at all either.

Don't even get me started on how annoying it is during sex. I may or may not have hit myself or Owen in the face with it on multiple occasions. Just a half an hour ago, I almost gave Owen a black eye.

"This fucking asshole of a client decided to pull out of the deal last minute - right as he was signing the paperwork. It took me months to find a house for this fucker and he just changes his mind and says 'it doesn't feel right' after putting me through hell to get this fucking place. Do you know how many back and forths I had with their agent just to settle on a price he was okay with? I put in double the work just to please this guy and he changes his mind, just like that. I'm fucking used to shit like this, but it still took everything in me not to pour my hot tea down his pants." she said angrily. She's had clients like this before and she has a temper in general, but she's gotten used to clients like this. Ever since she's gotten pregnant, her hormones have been through the roof and any little thing will set her off (something I will definitely not tell her).

"Shit, well, I'm glad you didn't pour hot tea on his balls," I chuckled. "At least now you can spend another 3 months finding a house for him and put in triple the work." I couldn't help but smirk. This situation was a little funny, frustrating, but funny. I'm sure if I were on the other end of it though, I wouldn't be laughing. Soon, she'll be laughing about it too.

"Fuck that. Fuck him. I'm dropping that dickless fucker as a client, I don't even care. And I'm gonna charge him extra for pain and suffering." she said, losing her breath. It sounded like she was doing something throughout this conversation, something like manual labor because she sounded tired and further away from the phone.

"Good idea. I would too," I laughed. "What are you doing?"

"Getting ready for an open house. It starts in an hour and Luke is late, as usual, so I'm hanging up a banner, you're on speaker," she explained. Luke was her partner that she did open houses with.

"Wait, please tell me you're not on a ladder?" I asked, concerned. The last place she should be is on a ladder when she's 7 months pregnant.

"It's not a big deal, I'm almost- fuck!" I heard her say, followed by a thud and what sounded like a ladder falling.

"Aspen, are you okay? What just happened?" I asked, seriously concerned now. I didn't hear a formal reply, just a mumble. "Aspen, what happened? Can you hear me?" I asked calmly, reminding myself to take deep breaths because the last thing I needed to be doing was freaking out. I prayed she didn't just fall from the ladder, but it sounded like she did.

"I fell?" I heard Aspen's voice crack and she sounded more confused than anything.

"Are you okay?" I asked calmly, drawing in another deep breath. "Is the baby okay?"

"I-I don't know… holy shit, there's so much blood. Alise! There's blood!" she exclaimed. I could hear her getting worked up.

My eyes filled with water as I started to lose it too, but I tried to keep it together, for her sake. "Aspen, it's okay… take a deep breath. Can you get to your phone?"

"It's on the table! I-I can't move, it hurts too much!" she said, still panicked and I don't blame her, I'm panicking just from hearing her.

"Okay, tell me where you are and I'm going to call 911," I said, trying my best to remain calm even though there were tears streaming down my face and my hands were shaking. She called out the address to me. "I'm going to switch to another line for a second and call, okay?"

"Okay!" she said, her voice shaking. I quickly switched to another line and called 911, telling them everything that happened, from my what I heard anyway. They said they'd be there as soon as possible and I switched the line back so I could talk to Aspen. I tried to keep her calm and talking until the police and ambulance came, trying to distract her from the situation.

The police came and she hung up the phone begged me to call Lance, so I did. I was panicking on the phone to him, but he was able to understand what I was saying. Probably because he deals with panicking clients daily. He quickly hung up with me and went to the hospital.

I hung up the phone and started hyperventilating immediately. I was having a panic attack. I tried to control my breathing but it was really hard. I was so scared. I wasn't there, I can't do anything to help her from here. I'm in a different state and I'm not going to be there for another 6 to 7 hours.

Owen came into the room after he heard me and was able to help calm me down enough for me to tell him what happened. He told me it was okay and that it was time to leave for the airport and we'll be with her soon.

I was terrified for her and Hunter.

x x x

Of course, I was a nervous wreck the whole flight and on the way home and then to the hospital. We took a taxi home, brought our stuff inside and left it at the door and I was rushing Owen and snapped at him when he went to pee. Something that little set me off, but he understood how nervous and anxious I was to see Aspen, so he didn't fight me on it. He just told me it was going to be okay and kissed my forehead before we left for the hospital. Hearing Owen say that calmed me down a little bit, but not enough.

I texted Lance and told him we just parked and he met us outside of the hospital room.

"Lance!" I said when I saw him, rushing over to give him a hug.

"Hey, love," he said, his voice low. I pulled away and was about to ask about Aspen, but he read my mind first. "Aspen's okay. She's sleeping right now and a little loopy from the drugs-" he said, my eyes widened. "-Safe for Hunter, who is fine."

"Oh, thank god," I let out a sigh of relief. "So, she fell and what happened? Why was there so much blood?" I asked.

"She fell onto her back so the baby was in no harm whatsoever. But apparently she has Placenta Previa and the doctors said the blood would have happened regardless of the fall, just not as much." Lance explained.

I nodded and Owen asked, "What's Placenta Previa?"

"It's where the placenta partially or completely covers the cervix. It can be bad when she's giving birth though," I said. I had read about most of the complications during pregnancy because I like to know what could happen. Owen said I was being over-the-top, but this information is important now so turns out I wasn't being over-the-top at all.

"They're recommending bedrest and a c-section when the time comes. It didn't affect her due date at all, they're still expecting April 23rd." Lance explained.

I nodded, "I can't imagine Aspen on bedrest for a month and a half…"

Lance scoffed, "God, me either. She already told the doctor to fuck off when she told him that."

Both Owen and I couldn't help but laugh upon hearing that, knowing full well that's an Aspen response.

"Let's go see if she's awake," Lance said as he lead us into the room.

x x x

Owen and I stayed until she woke up, which was right before visiting hours were over and no matter how hard Aspen and I tried to fight the staff on it, they wouldn't budge. I promised her I'd be back tomorrow at 9am, when visiting hours open again.

The next week was pretty hard. I was on edge and constantly worrying that something was going to happen. Not just to Aspen, but to Charlie too. At first, I shook the idea out of my head. Charlie was safe, I didn't need to worry. But then I thought about Aspen and how she had Placenta Previa - which is very rare in general, so my rational brain was telling me not to worry about that happening.

My irrational brain took over though and all I could think was that there were so many health issues that could arise. I was already at risk for Gestational diabetes, so I've been hyper-aware of that and avoiding sugar as much as possible. I was also at risk for Oligohydramnios, which is low amniotic fluid. I've been pumping myself full of water as much as possible and I realize I wasn't taking that as seriously as I should have before what happened to Aspen. Those were just two of the things I was worried about, there were so many more things that could happen.

I started thinking about childbirth and how so many complications happen during it. There were so many things that could go wrong. The umbilical cord could get wrapped around Charlie's neck and choke her - I could end up bleeding out and losing too much blood and dying.

All of this was keeping me up at night and I was barely coping with it myself. I knew I should talk to someone, anyone, but the words couldn't come out. I didn't know who to turn to, even though there were so many people I had in my life to turn to. I didn't dare tell Owen. I know he'd just tell me I was overreacting and not to worry about it - but there was so much to worry about. Maybe I was overreacting, but I was still worried, the anxiety was almost debilitating.

I slept in this morning until about 9:30am because I hadn't been sleeping lately. My mom gave me the day off and I knew I'd spend my day with Aspen. She's been doing well and I've been with her whenever I wasn't working, for the most part, helping as much as I can. She assured me she was fine, but of course, I still worried. I'm a worrier, that'll never change.

I was taking a shower and saw some blood in the water and I freaked out. I wasn't in pain and it wasn't all that much, but I still I called the doctor right away and talked to her. She assured me that it was normal, especially because I had the same problem during the first trimester. I think I was just on edge because of everything that's been going on so I automatically freaked out and assumed something was wrong with Charlie. Dr. McKenzie said she had an opening that morning and if it would make me feel better, I should go in, so I did and everything checked out. She was right. Charlie was fine.

I got to Aspen's around noon and was making her one of those god-awful pickle and jam sandwiches that she asked for, but this time she asked for peanut butter with it. I almost threw up at the sight of it, but I was there to help.

"If you're going to throw up, just don't do it on my sandwich, okay? I might be having weird cravings, but vomit isn't one of them." Aspen's voice came from behind me. I raised my brows as I turned around.

"You should be in bed, missy," I said as I cut up the pickles. I can't tell you how many times I've said this to Aspen over the past week. I've come over and she's been out of bed. One time she was working out on her treadmill and I almost lost it. What part of 'bed rest' does this crazy bitch not understand?!

"I know, but I'm sick of being in bed," she whined as she sat at the kitchen table. I just sighed and let her have this one, as long as she was sitting down, I guess that's a start. When I was finished making her sandwich, I put it in front of her with a glass of chocolate milk and then made myself a peanut butter sandwich and sat across from her. I was quiet for the most part as we ate, stuck in my own thoughts as Aspen was preoccupied eating her sandwich and scrolling on her phone.

After we ate, I convinced her to go up to bed by telling her I'd watch Criminal Minds with her if she did. She didn't pass that up. She loves her Criminal Minds.

"Alright, what's on your mind?" she asked as we got into her bed.

"Wh-what do you mean?" I asked, a little caught off-guard.

"I know you, Crusty. Something's up. This whole damn week, I can barely get anything out of you. When you laugh, there's nothing behind your eyes but hurt. All you wanna do is scream, or cry. Tell me what's up." she said simply as if she read my mind.

I let out a sigh. I really didn't want to go there now, especially in light of everything she was going through. Why would I turn it around and make it about me? I looked over at her and she just raised her brows, waiting for an answer. I had to talk, there was no way she wouldn't let me. "I just keep thinking, what if something happens to Charlie? My whole world would come crashing down. It's happened before and it'll probably happen again. Shit, I should be here supporting you and getting you through this I'm the one that's a mess." I felt the tears in my eyes already and I was ready to explode. All the pent up emotions were getting to me.

Aspen reached out and grabbed my hand. "That's okay, Alise. I'm here for you, no matter what. Things affect us differently. Was I scared about what happened? Fuck yeah, but I know that it could have been avoided. I was doing something stupid and I beat myself up over it because I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot. And I'm not just talking about what happened with you, I mean, my car accident, something could have seriously gone wrong. I'm starting to think our pregnancies are cursed." I sighed.

"Really, because I've been thinking you're cursed," Aspen said honestly, causing me to look up at her with my brows raised. Normally, I'd take it to offense, but I knew she didn't mean it that way. "All this bad shit keeps happening to you and aside from this small accident, I'm sitting here, all happy and content with life and it's been so easy for me. It's always been easy for me. I've watched you go through hell and back and you're still here. It's okay to worry and feel hopeless. You're the strongest woman I know, Alise. You can get through anything and I know what happened with that fucking dinosaur is going to stick with you, but you have to come to terms with that. Accept it," she said and then sighed. My breath was caught in my throat and tears were streaming down my face. "I've been holding back with saying this because Lance told me not to, but this is what you need to hear. You need to stop putting Owen first. I love you and I hate what this is doing to you. You have to accept that you're hurting too and you need to tell him what's on your mind and make him talk about it. Owen is your husband and he needs to put you first sometimes, you can't keep driving yourself crazy walking on glass around him. He needs to man up and face it. It might not be the most clinical, but it's what you need. I've been watching this happen for way too fucking long and I've had enough of it, I know you have too."

I hiccuped as my lip quivered and I shook my head. "I wish it was that simple."

Aspen shook her head. "It is that fucking simple. You just have to do it, Alise. Just fucking do it. I know you can."

I didn't know what to say. It was like a huge slap in the face and I didn't know how to process this. Has she really been holding back from saying all of this? This is really what she's been thinking all along and she didn't tell me?

Part of me knew she was right. Owen needed to be here for me like I am for him, but this was honestly the last thing I needed to hear right now. "Well, it's Owen's birthday this weekend and I don't want to ruin it." I sighed, catching my breath and trying to stop the tears. I know it was a stupid excuse to use, but it was true. I had something planned for Owen and I and I didn't want to ruin it by pushing him too hard.

"Fine," she sighed, leaning back into the headboard as she grabbed the remote. I pushed my lips together and leaned my head against the headboard, letting out a sigh and trying to wash away the tears. I know she's frustrated with me, hell, I'm frustrated with me, but I didn't want to face that truth. I couldn't.


	12. Chapter 12

**Flicker of Hope - Chapter 12**

**Summary:**

Alise still tries to push everything Aspen says in the back of her mind simply because she doesn't want to face the truth, even though she knows she should. It's Owen's birthday and she has something planned for him, so she pushes her fears and anxieties to the side, just like she usually does, except this time all of the suppressed emotions become too much for her and she snaps.  
**Adult themes ahead, be warned

* * *

After what Aspen told me, it weighed heavy on my mind for the rest of the night and I was pretty disconnected while we were watching TV. I left once Lance got home and went home. Everything she said was starting to eat me up and it was hard to sleep that night, but I tried to push it in the back of my mind for now because in two days, it was Owen's birthday and I was really excited for the surprise I had for him.

Today, I went into the shop for a few hours because my mom had an appointment and when she got back, she let me go home since it wasn't busy. I grabbed my stuff from the back room and walked back on the floor towards the exit.

"Honey, have you thought about whether or not you wanted us to make the office Charlie's nursery?" she asked while she was folding some shirts to put on the display table.

I thought this could also be her way of asking about whether or not Owen and I were staying after Charlie's born. We hadn't really talked about it, but we all just kind of assumed we'd be there after Charlie was born and until I got a full-time job. My mom and I talked about it briefly in the past and she said I could stay as long as I needed to and at the time it seemed like Owen and I didn't really have a choice on whether or not we were going to stay. But now since we're getting the settlement money, we have more options now, but that's not something I discussed with my mom yet.

"Yeah, I thought about it. I still have to talk to Owen about it. I really appreciate you giving up your office for us, you and Carl have done so much to help us and I love you guys for it." I smiled, hugging her. It was unbelievable to me how supportive they've been. Not many parents would do this for their children.

"Oh honey, no worries," she said as she pulled away and went back to folding. "It's the least we could do, really. It's no trouble at all. And, just so you know, we already painted it light purple while you were gone and took out all of the office furniture, so should you decide you want it, it's all ready to go." she smiled.

"You knew we'd say yes, didn't you?" I asked with a smiled.

"Mother's intuition," she replied simply with a smile.

"I hope I get that when Charlie's born… having a connection like that with her would be amazing." I smiled, rubbing my stomach subconsciously.

"You'll get it soon, the second she's born. If you haven't gotten it already that is."

I smiled, "Well, I'm gonna head out. I'll see you for dinner."

"Bye honey, see you later!" she called as I stepped outside. I smiled to myself, how did I get so lucky with a mom like her?

centerx x x/center

Later that night, around 9, I was in pajamas and in bed, moving my hand under the covers so Loki could attack it. He could be easily entertained by just that for an hour, I swear, he's too cute. Owen had just gotten out of the shower and he walked into the room with a towel wrapped around his waist.

I raised my brows and bit my lip. "Damn, you sexy baby!" I said with a smirk.

"Oh yeah? What about now?" he asked as he let the towel drop on the floor and stuck his ass out as if he were posing.

"Dat ass doe, babe," I licked my lips as he shook his head and chuckled. "It gets me all hot and bothered, I might need a cold shower, or a one-way ticket to pound town. Come to think of it, I like the second choice much better, so come here and let's get to fucking." I smirked.

"Not after you gave me a black eye with that cast, it's still black and blue." he chuckled, pointing to his eye that did have a little black and blue, but it was barely noticeable. I sighed and pouted, this fucking cast will be the death of me. At least I get it off in a few more days, after our weekend getaway that is.

"Well, we have a whole weekend to ourselves and if you think we're not having sex, you're wrong. Because we are. Twice a day, too. Maybe three times, if you can handle it." I smirked, still messing around with Loki.

"Oh, I can handle that baby. I think you forgot about our wedding night, how many rounds was that? 6? 7?" he said with a cocky grin as he changed into his pajamas.

"Including the one in the shower? I don't know. I lost count after 5," I said, shrugging. He chuckled and shook his head before getting into bed. I raised my brows and looked at him as he grabbed his book that was on the nightstand and opened it. He didn't notice the look I was giving him. "Seriously?"

"What?" he asked me, confused.

I looked at the towel on the ground. "You're going to leave that wet towel on the ground?"

"I just got comfortable, I'll get it in the morning." he shrugged as if it were nothing.

"Really?" I asked, my brows raised.

"Yeah, what's the big deal?" he asked as if I were overreacting, which I wasn't. I sighed and pushed myself out of bed, which was getting harder and harder to do as the days went on since this little girl is growing so fast. "Don't get up, it's not a big deal, I said I'd get it tomorrow morning," he said. I just rolled my eyes and walked over, bending down to pick it up. This isn't the only time that he's done it - he does it almost every day and guess who has to clean it up because he forgets? "Come on, are you annoyed now?"

"No, Owen, it's fine. I was getting up anyway," I said, opening the door. "Come on Loki," I said. He meowed and bounced off the bed, stepping over Owen in the process.

I sighed and walked into the bathroom. I washed my face and put moisturizer on when I noticed the cap to the toothpaste was off. Owen is the only one that shares the toothpaste with me, so it had to of been him. I've asked him a million times to cap the toothpaste when he's done because it dries out. I pushed my lips together, slowly inhaling and exhaling to get rid of my frustration. I told myself that it wasn't a big deal and I was just overreacting. On a normal day, this wouldn't get to me this much, but given everything that's been on my mind, I was a little sensitive.

I brushed my teeth and shut off the bathroom light. Hopefully, I can sleep well tonight because I'm gonna need it.

centerx x x/center

The next morning, I woke up around 7:30 am and cooked breakfast for Owen and I. Carl had left earlier to head down the shop, which was still a slow finishing process. It had flooring and they're waiting on all of the furnishings to come in, but they had a lot of time. They're not opening it until August and they're actually well ahead of schedule, which is a good thing. Renovating takes forever, even though they started about 4 and a half months ago, but they had to gut the whole place out and redo everything inside like electricity and all that jazz, plus it was infected with mold, so that didn't help the timeline either.

I calmed down a bit from last night and figured I just needed a good night's sleep, which I haven't been getting recently for obvious reasons. Last night I slept pretty well, only woke up a few times to pee and I was able to fall back to sleep rather quickly, so I can't complain. Plus, we were leaving for the cabin in the mountains today that I rented this weekend for Owen's birthday.

He's never been one to have parties, in fact, he's said that he hates them. He loves cabins and secluded areas where he can just relax and do his own thing without any expectations, so I figured renting a cabin would be the perfect gift, along with the lingerie I got for him because he loves lingerie. (If I can figure out how to get it on with this damn cast and I'm hoping he'll be able to take it off).

I made eggs, bacon (the real kind - since it's almost his birthday, he deserves it), and hashbrowns. His favorite breakfast. He makes the pancakes, bacon, and strawberries for me, because that's my favorite - of course, he doesn't mind it though. I could still manage my way around the kitchen even with this bulky cast.

I was just flipping over the eggs when I heard footsteps walking into the kitchen. I looked over and saw Owen, who looked like he literally just rolled out of bed and his hair was a mess. It was adorable. "Morning baby." I laughed.

"I smelt bacon…" he said, walking over.

"Don't worry, it's the real kind." I laughed.

"Well, it looks good too, but you look even better," he said, coming up behind me and wrapping his arms around me. "Are you on the menu?" he said in my ear, moving my hair behind my shoulder. "'Cause I wouldn't mind a taste of you," he said. I could have sworn it was almost a growl. His lips kissed my neck lightly and it sent a shiver down my spine and a rush of heat between my legs.

"I think I can arrange that," I said, biting my lip.

"Is anyone home?" he asked, his lips leaving a trail along my neck, alternating between soft sucking and biting.

"No…" I said, letting out a breath as my body sunk into his.

"Well, finish up those eggs, baby," he smirked, slapping my ass. I bit my lip and let the eggs finish. It only took a minute, but it felt like an eternity. I put the eggs on a plate and covered it with the pan cover and walked over to where he sat at the kitchen table. "Get on the table, baby. I'm starving."

I didn't hesitate to do what he said and the moments that followed were pure bliss.

centerx x x/center

We left the house around noon and I told him the directions to the cabin without telling him exactly where we were going. He kept asking, but I wouldn't budge. When we finally got there around 2pm, we pulled up the long driveway and he parked the car, looking over at the cabin.

"I rented it for a couple of days, so it'll be just you and me. There's not another cabin for a couple of miles and I figured you'd like a break from the outside world for a bit since you loved Tim's cabin. We can do whatever you want. The only thing on the itinerary is 5am sunrises from the bedroom and the rest is all open." I smiled, putting my hand on his knee.

"I couldn't think of a better way to spend my birthday - all alone in a cabin with you. It's perfect," he said, leaning in to kiss me. I smiled when we pulled away and got out of the car. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder as we walked towards the front door. "This is the part where I find a hatchet in the shed and hack you to bits in your sleep, right?"

"Owen! Don't even say that while I'm carrying our child, even if it is a joke!" I said, slapping his arm.

"You're right, I'll wait 3 more months until you pop her out and then bring you back up here and then hack you to pieces," he said nonchalantly, shrugging.

I raised my brows and looked at him. "The fact that you think I'm just going to "pop her out" is really concerning."

"What? Isn't that how it goes? One push and you're good to go." he said with a shrug. I could tell he was joking by the small smirk on his face that he couldn't hide. I scoffed, rolled my eyes and opened the door with the key I got from the owner. He just chuckled and followed me inside.

centerx x x/center

We went to the store to get some food for the next couple of days. On the way back, I remembered the conversation I had with my mom after picking up a magazine at the store that was about babies and pregnancy and decided to bring it up.

"So my mom said we can use her office as the nursery for Charlie and I realized we never even talked about how long we were staying with them…" I said, looking at him.

"Well, I think it'd be good to stay with them when Charlie's born. It's a couple of extra hands and I'm sure they'd be happy to help. Plus, it takes a while to find a new house, we wouldn't even find one and get moved in before she's born, even if Aspen works her magic." Owen said.

I smiled and nodded, agreeing with him. "You're right."

He raised his brows and looked at me. "What was that? I didn't hear you, did you just say I was right?" he joked, smirking at me.

I rolled my eyes, "I just said you were right about this. This one thing, not everything," I said, shoving his arm lightly. Owen just shook his head and chuckled as my thoughts took over. "It's going to be so hectic after she's born. I'm actually a little scared to bring her home for the first time…"

He sighed and grabbed my knee. "Don't worry about that. Everything's gonna be fine," he said as we pulled up to the house and he moved his hand to put the car in park. "Dammit, I forgot the bleach to get rid of the blood after I hack you to bits…"

I raised my brows at him, "I thought you were waiting until after Charlie was born?"

"Yeah, but I just can't wait any longer. It's already been over a year since I got you in my life and a man can only control his urges for so long," he said seriously, it was hard to tell he was joking and I know that's the way he intended for it to come across.

"Okay, now you're really starting to freak me out there, buddy. Let's not talk about you killing me anymore, alright? It really messes with the mood… now I don't know if I wanna have sex with you tonight, you ruined it." I said as I got out of the car.

He scoffed as he got out of the car and grabbed the two bags of groceries and walked over to me. "Oh, come on babe. I won't hack you to bits, I love you too much. You're my everything."

I rolled my eyes and opened the door. "Now you're just saying that so you can get some."

He chuckled and followed me inside. "Is it working?" he asked with a cheesy grin.

"Take off your pants and we'll find out." I winked and smirked. Yup, definitely worked.

centerx x x/center

Turns out, those compliments worked like a charm and we ended up tangled in the sheets right after that. We laid in bed for a while, talking, before my stomach growled loudly and Owen took that as his cue to start dinner. He cooked some barbeque chicken and veggies and when we finished, he went to take a shower and then so did I.

When I walked back into the room we were staying in, his dirty clothes were all over the floor, which is a reoccurring thing for him. Sometimes I don't mind it, but this time I tripped over his pants when I was going to get something from my duffel bag and almost fell face first. And falling face-first with a baby inside you is not something you want to happen. It's honestly one of the scariest thoughts a pregnant woman could have.

Of course, I cleaned them up because god knows he won't, so I was a little frustrated, to say the least, and it showed when I walked into the living room to see Owen watching TV and drinking a beer.

"Why the hell am I the one that has to pick up your dirty clothes and put them away?" I asked, walking over.

Owen's attention was still on the TV as he shrugged. "Didn't realize I did that. Won't happen again," he said, but he was totally disconnected when he said it. Like he wasn't even paying attention to me at all. That only caused me to get even angrier.

"Okay, well, just so you know it's kinda hard to bend down when there's a 30-pound weight attached to my stomach and the least you could do is not be a dick and clean up after yourself," I said, groaning as I sat down next to him.

"Okay, Alise. It won't happen again, I don't see why you have to get so angry about it," he said, rubbing my back lightly as if to calm me down, but it wasn't working.

I sighed, "It's just annoying that I have to pick up after you and you're a grown ass man and soon I'm going to have a baby to pick up after and I'm sure as hell not picking up after you too."

"Why are you up my ass recently? We're here to relax and have a good time and you're doing the opposite of that," he said, setting his beer on the table, clearly annoyed.

I raised my brows, "I'm up your ass? I'm up your fucking ass? You've got to be kidding me!" I couldn't believe he just said that.

"Where is all of this coming from?" he asked, clearly taken back and confused. He was getting angry at this point too.

I shook my head, "Just forget it." I said, leaning my back against the couch and crossing my arms over my chest and above my belly. I was pissed that he just said that, but I didn't want to get even more annoyed. Tomorrow was his birthday and I didn't want to ruin it, so it would probably be best if I just bit my tongue.

Owen shook his head, "No, tell me what's wrong. You can't just bite my head off because you feel like it-"

I raised my brows, not able to listen to what he was saying anymore. "Because I feel like it? Owen, this entire fucking time I haven't once bit off your head and I'm doing it now because I'm sick of it. I've had enough. I'm done picking up after you, I'm done with your mood swings, I'm done protecting you. Everything's always about you. I'm constantly watching myself and monitoring myself because I don't want to upset you. You won't fucking tell me anything and you won't talk to me. Do you know how much stress and pressure that puts me under? My head hurts because of it, I'm already physically and emotionally exhausted because I have a fucking baby growing inside of me that's literally draining me of all my energy and all I can do is sit here and worry about YOU and that's because I fucking love you, but I feel like I never get anything in return. I feel like I'm going through this whole fucking thing alone. I feel helpless, Owen. I can't even turn to you because you won't understand, you never do. You just think I'm being overly emotional well, fuck, maybe I am but I'm hurting and you don't even care enough to notice." I just erupted with tears streaming down my face and I couldn't hold them back, no matter how hard I tried.

"I don't really know what to say…" he said after a short silence.

I sighed, "Of course you don't. You never do."

Owen sighed, "How could you think I don't care? Alise, I love you more than anything. I care about you so much. I never want you to think that I don't. I thought things were good, I thought we talked about things. I never knew you felt this way and I'm sorry that I didn't notice, I should have paid attention more…" he said. I could hear his voice crack with emotion as he reached out to grab my hand. "Alise, I love you and I hate to see you hurt. If you feel helpless, you need to tell me, okay? I can't help you if you don't tell me…" he was tearing up and seeing him like this broke my heart. I hate seeing him cry. "God, I'm such an asshole." he shook his head.

"Honey, don't say that…" I said, holding his hand tighter.

"No, you're right. You've been trying to talk to me about things, but I've just been blowing you off. It's just hard for me and you've been great, too great. Better than I deserve. I should have noticed you weren't feeling yourself, I should have known and all I've been doing is thinking about myself and baby, I'm so sorry. I hope you can forgive me." he said, tears streaming down his face as he let out a breath to calm himself down.

"Of course I forgive you… we're both going through a lot right now." I said, running my fingers through his hair and cupping his cheek.

He grabbed my hands and looked at me right in the eyes. "Tell me what's wrong, tell me what I did to you to make you feel this way."

I sighed and bit my lip. "It's not you, Owen. It's just everything that's happened. It's the situation we're in," I took another deep breath, tears building up in my eyes again. "It's just… we've been through so much the past 6 months and I just feel like I can't handle it anymore. After what happened with Aspen, I'm terrified something's going to happen to Charlie and it's all I can think about. I don't know what I would do if something happened to her. It would kill me."

"If anything happened to her, it would kill me too, Alise…" he said, wiping the tears that were streaming down my face with his thumb. "But she's safe right now, isn't she?" I bit my lip and looked down at my stomach and nodded, rubbing it gently. His hand covered mine. "She's safe right now and that's all that matters. You're doing everything you can to keep it that way. You can't keep living in fear of what might happen, it'll only drive you crazy. There's only so much we can do. Whatever happens, happens, and if something happens, we'll deal with it together. Just like we have everything else."

I let out a breath and nodded, feeling better after hearing him say that. "You're completely right… I was just overreacting, as usual."

"No, you weren't. It's okay to worry about these things, but not to the point where it's making you feel this way. You have to talk about it, okay? And I'm here for you, always. I promise." he said, moving my hair behind my ear and cupping my cheek, gently rubbing it with his thumb, catching a few stray tears.

I smiled at him, getting lost in his emerald eyes. He knows exactly what to say to make me feel better. "I love you," I said.

"I love you too baby, more than anything," he said, kissing me with passion. When we broke away and I let out a sigh of relief.

"I feel so much better now," I said, calming down enough now that I wasn't crying. I wiped the leftover tears with the sleeve of my shirt.

"Good, I'm glad. I hate seeing you upset," he said, putting his arm around my shoulders and pulling me close to him. I let out a sigh, feeling completely at ease in his arms like this. I felt so much better after talking to him, but I still feel like there are some things that were left unsaid, but this is a start at least.


	13. Chapter 13

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 13**

**Summary:**

After Alise and Owen talk about things, they come to terms with everything and promise to talk more in the future so neither of them have another outburst. Alise's mother gives her and Lowery way too much information when it comes to getting it on with Alise's step-dad, Carl. Aspen tries to make amends with her by bringing Alise her two favorite things. Fast forward about a month and a half to Alise's baby shower and she gets a surprise present she never expected to get.

* * *

The next morning, we watched the sunset and both fell back to sleep after. I woke up to the smell of bacon and looked at the time: 8:45. I smiled, thinking it was Owen's birthday and I was excited about it (maybe even a little more than he is). Then I frowned because I realized he was making breakfast on his birthday. He's not supposed to have to cook on his birthday, he isn't supposed to do anything on his birthday. I also remembered I set my alarm for 8:15, but clearly, he turned it off. I rolled my eyes at the thought, thinking about how much of a dick he can be sometimes, but I love him for it regardless.

I got out of bed, quickly going into the bathroom that was attached to the bedroom to pee, tame my wildly messy hair (because I didn't blow dry it after my shower so it was a tangled mess), I also brushed my teeth then washed my face and moisturized.

On my way to the kitchen, I grabbed a little silver box from my duffle bag. Thankfully, Owen didn't notice that I snuck it in there (I wrapped it up in a shirt so he wouldn't notice). I walked into the kitchen to see Owen cooking, clad in just his boxers. He was whistling and it reminded me of old times, I couldn't help the big smile that crossed my lips.

"Morning, birthday boy," I said as I put the box on the table and walked over, embracing him in a hug from behind. "I'm the one that's supposed to be cooking you breakfast." I pouted as I kissed his shoulder.

"I like cookin'," he said, turning over the bacon. "And good morning to you too baby," he said, turning around to kiss my forehead, right as the kettle started to go off. "That's for the tea," he said. I smiled and turned off the burner.

"First, I have a present for you!" I smiled as I grabbed the box, holding it behind my back.

Owen sighed, "Even after I said no presents?"

"Yup, now open!" I said, giving him the silver box. He raised his brows and took it from me. He opened it and I could see his eyes light up.

"Aw, babe, you got me a new watch." he smiled.

"Yeah, yours has scratches all over it and lord knows you're never gonna get a new one." I laughed as he kissed my lips lightly. It wasn't a Rolex by any means, it was similar to his old one. I knew he wouldn't want anything flashy, that's just not him.

"I'll put it on later," he said, putting it on the counter as he got back to cooking. I smiled and grabbed the mug that was already on the counter with the tea bag in it and filled it up with water.

I walked over to the kitchen table and flipped through one of the baby magazines I got. This one has ideas for different nurseries. I figured we should get an idea of what we want and figure out everything that we need.

Owen brought over the pancakes and bacon after he finished them and I didn't hesitate to make myself a plate because I was starving. I've been a lot hungrier as of late, understandably so.

"So I think we should continue the conversation we started yesterday…" Owen said thoughtfully as he made himself a plate.

"What? I thought we were good. It was a good conversation." was my first reaction, even though I knew it wasn't the best thing to say. I mean, yeah we did have a good conversation, but there were still some things left in the air. It's probably best to talk about them now when there are no distractions.

He raised his brows, "Alise." I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"Fine," I caved. "I just don't want another fight…" I trailed off. It was true, I really didn't want to get into another fight, especially on his birthday.

"We won't get into another fight, babe. I'll be a good boy," he chuckled. I refrained from turning it into something sexual and making a comment about him being a bad boy or something like that. I probably would have said something along the lines of 'well, what if I'm not a good girl and I need to be punished', but I knew this was a serious conversation. I'll have to save those jokes for later.

"Okay... so what else should we talk about?"

Owen took a deep breath, "Fuck, I don't even know where to start." I noticed the frustration wash over his face. Usually, when this happens, he just shuts down. That's the last thing I wanted.

"Start wherever you want, baby," I reassured him, reaching out to grab his hand.

He let out a breath and nodded. "None of this is easy for me… and I realize I haven't been there for you and I'm so sorry for that. I was just so wrapped up in my own problems that I didn't stop to think if you were okay. You've been through so much and I know carrying our child isn't the easiest thing to do, especially when you're conflicted the way that you are… I just- after… what happened at Isla Nublar, I feel like I've changed. I feel like I haven't been the best husband to you and I beat myself up about that every day. I'm scared something's going to happen and you're going to be taken away from me and I always worry about something happening to Charlie. And I know I told you that nothing will, but that's not reality. Things happen. I mean, I haven't had the best childhood growing up and I've seen things in the Navy, so I thought I could handle this, just like I've handled everything else in my life. I just wanted to sweep it under the carpet like it never happened. I know it's not the healthiest way to deal with it, but it's just how I am. I didn't realize that was affecting you and I want to talk about it now, to help you. I want you to be as healthy and stress-free as you can be. I know you've dealt with depression in the past and it kills me to know how much you're hurting. I feel like I've failed as a husband already, who's to say I won't fail as a father too?" He looked down when he said that and it honestly broke my heart.

"Owen, you haven't failed as a husband, you're the best husband I could ask for. You've just been through a lot, we both have. You're going to be a great father, wanna know how I know that?" I asked. He raised his brows and looked at me. "Because you love us. You love her. More than anything in the world and I can tell. I know it and I feel it. Every time you look at me, every time you rub my belly, every time I look into your eyes. I can see and feel the love. You drop everything to help me when I need help, you've been so good with my family and I know my family is hard to deal with. You put me first sometimes and I can tell. That's all I could ever ask for in a husband."

Owen nodded, "I'll do more. I'll ask you how you're feeling and I want you to tell me too, don't be worried that I don't care because I do care. When you ask me how I'm feeling, I won't just brush you off, if I'm having a bad day, I'll tell you. Even if that means I'll end up crying and looking like a pansy."

I couldn't help but laugh, "You, Owen Grady, could never be a pansy." I said, rubbing his cheek.

Owen smiled and pushed our foreheads together, looking deep into my eyes. "I love you, more than anything."

I smiled and looked back into his. "I love you too baby, more than anything. All in."

"All in," he said before kissing me again.

x x x

The rest of the day went perfect. He enjoyed the other present I gave him later that night, even though he had trouble getting it off. It wasn't the sexiest lingerie I've gotten in the past, but with this cast and belly, I couldn't really make it any sexier. It was amusing to see how frustrated he got though, to be honest. He even said "remind me to punish you for doing this to me", so once he got it off, it was a win-win.

We left the cabin the next day pretty late, around 7pm because we wanted to spend as much time there as we could before we had to go back to reality. We got home around 9pm and I ran to pee while Owen brought our stuff upstairs. After I peed, I went downstairs to the kitchen because I was a little hungry and for some reason, I was completely wired, like I had just drunk a pot of coffee, so I made some sleepytime tea and made myself a peanut butter sandwich.

"Oh, hey Alise, I didn't realize you guys were home," Lowery said as he walked into the kitchen with a mug of his own. He went to pour himself another cup of coffee, I figured it was probably decaf. He was starting to drink more coffee recently as if he's been drinking enough for the both of us.

"You do know even decaf has some caffeine in it," I said, taking a bite of my sandwich.

"Not decaf. Gotta stay up and finish testing Malware by tomorrow morning and I have to do a lot of coding," I raised my brows and blew on my tea. I had no idea what the fuck Malware was or why it involved coding and it was written all over my face. I was going to call him a geek, but he cut me off. "So did you guys have fun on your little weekend getaway? What'd you do?" he asked, just as Owen walked into the room.

"Played cards, board games, pool and suntanned while Owen drank beer and I had virgin strawberry daiquiris," I said nonchalantly.

Lowery pulled a confused face, "Really?" he asked in disbelief. We did actually play card games and pool, so it wasn't entirely a lie.

"No. We went away for the weekend and were alone, use your brain do-do," I said. He still looked at me like that and I sighed. "We had sex, lots of sex. All day, every day." I smirked.

"God! I shouldn't have asked!" he rolled his eyes, adding cream to his coffee. I laughed and took a sip of my tea. "Isn't it hard to do that with your cast though?" I could tell he was hesitant like he didn't really wanna ask that question, but he must have really wanted to know the answer if he did.

"When you have a hubby as sexy as Owen, you find ways," I smirked at Owen, who was grabbing a water bottle from the fridge. He winked at me, which Lowery saw and I know Owen intended for him too.

"Now I really regret asking." Lowery rolled his eyes.

"Hi honey, welcome back," my mom said as she walked into the kitchen and rubbed my back. "Oh, and to add to that conversation, remember when I broke my femur a few years back? Yeah, Carl and I didn't have much trouble finding our way around the bedroom, if you know what I mean," she smirked. I glanced over at Owen, whose eyes widened as he took it as his cue to slip out of the room. I didn't blame him. I was ready to go next.

I pulled a disgusted face, "This conversation did not pan out the way I wanted it to."

"Yeah. It turned gross. Even grosser than before." Lowery said.

"Be grossed out all you want, when you get to my age, you'll understand." she shrugged, putting her mug into the sink and rinsing it out before putting it in the dishwasher.

"Okay, I'm done hearing about this," I said, taking the last bite of my peanut butter sandwich and chucking the paper plate into the garbage. "Goodnight mom!" I said, turning around and looked at Lowery. "Night dickhead."

"Dickhead, dickhead!" I heard Snow start from the other room. I smirked as I walked out of the room, hearing Lowery call me a "bitch!" on the way out.

"Good girl," I said, giving Snow one pistachio before walking upstairs to find Owen. I walked into our bedroom and saw him sitting shirtless on the edge of his side of the bed. "All that sex talk scare you off?" I asked, amused.

Owen scoffed, "It's one thing when you do it, but your mom?" he said, taking his socks off.

"That was more awkward for me, mind you. Totally killed the mood." I said, sitting on my side of the bed and taking a sip of my tea.

"Really? 'Cause that Loki cut out kills the mood for me most of the time, but I just keep goin' 'cause you make me."

"God, you make it sound like I take advantage of you. If Loki were actually here, then I'd force you to have a threesome with us. And you love me, and I'm carrying your child, so you'd have no choice but to do it." I said, matter-of-factly.

He raised his brows, "I don't know about that. I don't want another man's dick near my wife's vagina, thanks." he said, getting under the covers and getting comfortable.

"Oooh, now that's a serious mood killer," I said, putting my tea on the nightstand.

He pulled a confused face, "What?"

"Calling it a 'vagina'. I'm gonna pee and go to sleep." I said, standing up and heading for the door. Owen called after me, using any other possible word for vagina that he could, ones he knows turns me on. All I did was smirk to myself because it definitely didn't kill the mood, I just wanted to hear him beg.

x x x

The next day, I finally got my cast off first thing in the morning because I couldn't wait to be rid of the bulky thing. When it was finally off, it was so freeing. It felt great to move my arm without knocking into things or hitting the hard cast against my belly.

After I got the cast off, I went to my parent's shop in Aspen. I did my favorite thing in the whole world - paperwork. I was sitting at the counter behind the register, sorting through the endless amount of the papers. I swear, my mom is so unorganized. I don't know what she did before I came to help. Actually, no, I do know what she did - she threw all the papers in a box and waited for her pregnant daughter to go through all of them. That's exactly what she did.

I heard the bell on the door ring as I was writing something down. "Hi, how can I-" I started to say as I looked up to see Aspen standing there. "Oh, it's you," I said. I didn't try to sound stand-offish, it's just the way it came out.

"That's totally the reaction I was looking for," she said sarcastically as she put a medium cup of Dairy Queen on the counter, along with a Funko Pop! Loki.

I raised my brows, "Did you really bring me ice cream and a Loki to make amends?" I asked, amusement in my voice. I haven't really spoken to her since our little chat where she exploded on me and told me everything that she was thinking. I don't know which hurt more, the dumping of the information itself, or the fact that she had been keeping all of that from me.

"It's working, though, isn't it?" she asked with a grin.

I smiled, "Yes, now give me him!" I said, reaching out for Loki.

Aspen laughed, "The fact that you go for Loki first and not the ice cream and your pregnant says a lot about you right now."

I looked at the box, admiring how cute he was. I love Funko Pop!'s. And obviously Loki. "Like what?"

"You're horny for some bad-guy D. You ever think about roleplaying with Owen? It's pretty fun, you'd enjoy it," she said, smirking.

I scoffed, "Yeah, but I don't think he would," I said. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be on bed rest?" I asked with my brows raised.

"Yeah, about that…" she trailed off, looking anywhere but at me.

"Aspen!" I scolded. She should not be out of bed and we both knew it.

"What? I just had an appointment with Dr. McKenzie like an hour ago and she gave me the go-ahead to come and see you, just for a little bit. So, I'm sorry I can't bless you with my presence for that long, but I just wanted to see how you were doing after everything I said…"

"It's okay, Asp. It actually worked out for the best… I totally blew up on Owen accidentally." I admitted, biting my lip at the thought. Yeah, totally wish that didn't happen, but it was for the best. It led to the conversation we had next, which was definitely needed.

"No way! I didn't mean for that to happen…" she said, shock written all over her face.

"I know, you were just making me face the facts…" I said. I heard the bell for the door ding again and we looked over to see Lance standing there.

"Hey Alise," he smiled and nodded at me before looking back at Aspen. "Babe, the doctor said couldn't be out of bed for too long…"

"You dirty little liar…" I couldn't help but smirk as I shook my head at her.

Aspen groaned and rolled her eyes. "Well, I had to make sure Alise was okay, Lance. Get in the car, I'll be right there."

Lance groaned and rolled his eyes. Like wife, like husband. "The things I do for this woman…" he said, mainly under his breath as he walked outside. You can clearly tell who's in charge in their relationship. I laughed and shook my head.

"Come over later? So we can talk?" she asked, hopeful.

I nodded and smiled. "Yes. Definitely. I get off in a couple of hours."

"Perfect! We have a lot to talk about… and we can't forget about your baby shower!"

I sighed, "I don't know-"

Aspen cut me off, "Oh, shut up. You planned mine, I plan yours. We're not even going into the importance of a baby shower because we've been there before. You're having one." she said sternly. Clearly, you can tell who's in charge of this friendship, too.

I sighed, "You're very persuasive." I said sarcastically.

"Persuasive is my middle name. I'll see you later Crusty!" she said, heading for the door.

"Bye Assie!" I called, hearing the door shut.

I looked down at my little Loki and thought. Roleplaying with Owen… he'd probably say "over my dead body" or something along those lines. I laughed to myself at the thought and put Loki under the counter, getting back to my favorite thing in the world that was giving me a headache. If only I could drink tequila, today would be a good day for some… or the whole bottle. At least I have Dairy Queen.

x x x

After that, I went to Aspen's and we talked about everything that happened and promised to be more open and honest with each other. Her about how she feels about me and my marriage and me with how I'm doing mentally (and physically, because we sure as hell can relate to each other with the pregnancies). I raided her closet for clothes that no longer fit her, so I got a few new outfits. Hand-me-downs are the best, it's all I used to wear from my older cousins.

Speaking of my older cousins, they were invited to my (smallish) baby shower, which took place a month later on April 13th and there were about 15 guests, most of which I haven't seen for over a year and barely talked to - so that was a little weird.

Aspen planned the whole thing and I didn't have a choice in the matter, but I realized I do need one. She got so many things at her baby shower a couple of months ago that seem beyond helpful and if Owen and I had to get all of it on our own - it'd be crazy expensive. I mean, yes, we're getting 2 million dollars, but we don't want to spend it all if we can help it.

Lance drove us to the clubhouse where the baby shower was. Thankfully, Dr. McKenzie gave Aspen the go-ahead to come to the shower (and Lance was actually a witness so it wasn't just a ploy) and she's been doing really well, so that's good. Lance and Owen were going to the pub down the street to meet a few friends.

Aspen bought a dress online that no longer fit her, but was just my style. It was a light purple (my favorite color if anyone hasn't noticed yet) shift dress with loose lace sleeves. She also made me a flower crown because "what the fuck else am I supposed to do on bedrest besides take up new hobbies" was exactly how she said it. It was actually pretty cute with purple and white flowers on it, so it matched the dress perfectly. I wore my hair wavy and had minimal makeup on, which was now the usual. I've been too tired to put anything but a light foundation powder and mascara. Sometimes I'll do eyeliner, but today wasn't one of those days.

The clubhouse room that we rented was beautifully decorated, light purple being the main color and animals being the theme. It was a perfect theme, but it makes me miss working with animals even more. I miss it almost every day, but I reason that this was the best plan we could have done at the time and soon we'll have Charlie in our lives and I'm hoping I'll be able to go back to work at least a year after she's born, maybe sooner. That's something Owen and I have to talk about.

One person I didn't expect to see there was Lucy, but Aspen surprised me and flew her out for the party. It was so nice to see her, as it usually is, but I got swept up talking to everyone else I haven't seen in a while, so as much as I wanted to spend all of my time talking to her (because I hate small talk with people), I knew I had to play hostess, I mean, these girls are buying stuff for my baby. It's the least I could do. Lucy was very understanding and talked to a few people too, even though I knew she was really out of her comfort zone. I would be too, she's basically in a room full of strangers.

I was talking to people for about 20 minutes since I got there, praying Aspen would start the games soon, but I knew she wanted everyone to catch up first. I kept trying to get away to go talk to Lucy, but someone would swoop in and catch my attention before I could. At one point I was honestly just so tired of talking to everyone, I just excused myself to get something to drink. Unfortunately, it had to be non-alcoholic and I could totally go for a shot of tequila to get through this right now.

I got some water from the table and put ice in it when I saw Lucy sitting down at one of the tables with a drink in her hand and she was looking down at her phone. I smiled, I could finally talk to her now without distractions, so I walked over to her.

"Hey there," I smiled as I sat next to her.

Lucy looked up at me and put down her phone. "Hey… I don't mean to be rude, it's just Lachlan. He can wait. How are you? I'm so happy to see you, you look great. That dress is so cute!" she said excitedly.

"Thanks! It's actually Aspen's. I've resorted to raiding her closet now that she's too big to fit in any of this stuff." I laughed.

"Well, she has great style," she said, taking a sip of her drink.

"So, how have you been?" I asked. "Any wedding planning going on?" I nudged her arm with a smirk.

"Not yet, nothing's set in stone. We're thinking after I graduate, but it also depends on when he gets deployed..." she trailed off, looking down at her cup.

I nodded, knowing that's something she's nervous about. Heck, so am I. The thought of Lachlan being deployed and being in the line of fire was scary enough for me, I could only imagine how she felt. I decided it'd be best to change the subject.

"Is it going to be a big wedding?" I asked, even though I can't imagine Lucy having a big wedding, but Lachlan might want a big wedding because he has like a million friends because he talks to anyone and everyone.

"Well, my stepdad and mother are ecstatic. He's offered to pay for the whole thing, so of course, I'm going to invite a lot of family… and I have a big family. Lachlan's family isn't very big, thank god. I don't think I could do over 200 people and even that's pushing it." she said. I could tell she was overwhelmed with the idea of it and I don't blame her.

My eyes widened, "Damn, that's a lot of people!" It honestly sounds like a nightmare. And this is coming from a girl who was completely content with getting eloped with 4 witnesses.

"Yeah," she said, letting out a nervous sigh. "Well, I don't have to worry about that for quite a bit. But there's one thing I know for sure and that's that I'd love for you to be my maid of honor," she said with a small smile.

"Oh, really? I'd love to!" I said, giving her a small hug - or whatever it was that I could manage while sitting down with my belly. It was weird and awkward, but neither of us cared.

"It wasn't supposed to come out like that… I had this whole thing planned to ask you and I have a present and everything, I should have just waited…" she said, putting her head in her hands as she shook her head, but she laughed slightly.

"No, no, it's fine. You know I don't care about that stuff!" I laughed. "This is so exciting though, I can't wait!"

"Yeah and Lachlan's going to ask Owen to be one of his best men. Don't tell him I told you!" she said, laughing as she took a sip of her drink. It was most definitely alcoholic and she was feeling the effects right about now.

I laughed, "I won't. I'm sure Owen will get a kick out of that!"

"I was also thinking, if Charlie can walk by then, we'd love to have her as our flower girl. Complete with a flower crown and all. Heck, if she can't walk by then, she can crawl down the aisle." she laughed.

"That would be so cute! I love that idea. Now you just have to hurry up and pick a date girly!" I said.

Thinking about Charlie walking, in general, is overwhelming, but exciting nonetheless. I thought about her walking down the aisle as a flower girl in a cute little dress and flower crown (unless if she's anything like Owen, it'd be on the ground the second I turn my head) and that was even more exciting.

Lucy laughed, "All in due time."

"Of course." I laughed too. I took a sip of my water and noticed Aspen walking over, she looked disheveled and out of breath, which immediately concerned me.

"Thank god I'm wearing a dress because my water broke and is all over the bathroom floor." was the first thing she said.

I immediately put my water down and stood up. "Oh my god, are you okay?!"

"Yeah, but you have a party crasher. Hunter is getting a little restless and wants out, like now," she said, doubling over slightly as she put her hand on her stomach and let out a groan.

I felt a wave of nausea wash over me but snapped myself out of it. The last thing we need is me throwing up while Aspen's in labor. I thought quick on my feet. "I'll call Lance and we'll go to the hospital…" I said.

Aspen nodded and sat down next to Lucy, who grabbed her hand and comforted her immediately. I called Lance, who said that he and Owen would be there in a couple of minutes.

Aspen managed her breathing, chalking it up to the birthing class she took (which I really need to take too). She was leaning back in her chair, fanning herself. I sat next to her and grabbed her other hand, which she immediately squeezed tightly. My friends and family noticed what was going on and all started to make their way over and I know the last thing Aspen would want is an audience. I glanced at Lucy, who nodded, understanding what I was thinking.

"Crowd control got it," she said, getting up and walking over to talk to them.

I looked over at Aspen, "How are you feeling?" I asked reluctantly, knowing she'd bite my head off for asking that question. I honestly don't know what else to do, I was freaking out on the inside.

"Well, contractions have been going on and off all day-"

"-and you didn't say anything?!" I cut her off, surprised.

"Yeah, well, who fucking cares! Think of your worst period cramp and times it by 100 and add a jackhammer drilling its way into your back. That's how I feel right now." she said, looking me dead in the eye.

"Well, that's something to look forward too," I gulped as Aspen's grip on my hand tightened. I sat with her for a few minutes as she shifted uncomfortably and her breathing got heavier and heavier as she tried to fight the pain. My face lit up when I saw Lance running into the room with Owen following close behind.

"Love, I'm here. Are you okay?" Lance asked, taking her other hand.

"I'm going into labor and everyone is staring at me and an 8-pound baby is about to come out of me, do you think I'm okay?" she deadpanned, looking him dead in the eye.

Lance gulped, "Right, then, let's get you to the hospital." he said, grabbing her elbow and helping her up.

Aspen looked at me, "Meet me at the hospital when the party's over…"

"Are you kidding me?! I'm coming with you!" I said, following close behind. There was no way I was staying here when my best friend was going into labor.

"Fuck, we didn't even get to play the games…" Aspen trailed off as we headed for the door. I grabbed both of our coats.

"Love, I think that's the least of your issues," Lance said. I put on my jacket and looked at Owen, who looked like he'd seen a ghost and he was basically frozen. I motioned for him to come with us and he snapped out of it, following along.

"Good luck!" Lucy called after us.

"We're gonna need it!" I called back, thankful that Aspen was too far ahead of us to hear.

I was super nervous, but beyond excited. This is the best baby shower present ever. Now I just have to get through the next few hours of angry Aspen to get him, but I'm ready for it. I looked over at Owen as we sat in the back seat and Aspen let out another loud groan and told Lance to 'start the fucking car and drive' impatiently, even though he that's what he was doing.

I'm so ready for this, but Owen doesn't look like he is. Like at all. But he will be soon. He'll have no choice but to be.


	14. Chapter 14

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 14**

**Summary:**

After Hunter is born, Alise helps as much as she can with him and Owen does too because Alise thinks it'll be good practice for them. With Alise's due date in less than 2 months, she starts to panic after realizing they're not as prepared as they should be. They go shopping for the nursery and Alise drags Owen to some parenting classes that he doesn't like one bit. Owen also makes an impulsive decision that sets Alise off.

*Adult themes and angst ahead, be warned

* * *

Hunter was born later that day at 8:13pm and was a c-section. He was healthy and that's all that matters. Watching Aspen in pain like that was hard, especially when I know that's what I have to look forward to in 1 month and 3 weeks - which was a scary thought. Except I think mine will be a little rougher because, as long as everything goes according to plan, Charlie is going to be born naturally.

I'm concerned with the pain level, but also how everything heals afterward. Does it like stay all loose and floppy like that or go back to being tight? Because Owen's dick is pretty big, but I actually wanna feel something when I'm having sex after that. Some people on the internet says it goes right back to the way it was before with some time, others say it stays a little stretched out. I'm hoping it's not the latter.

I did ask Owen if he'd still have sex with me if I had a saggy vagina and he said I'd have to give him a lot of blow jobs to compensate, so naturally, I told him I'm never giving him one again and he was like "Come on Alise, you give the best ones" with a pouty look. I didn't tell him I was kidding though because as much as I like giving them to him, after that comment, I just might not out of spite. Is that wrong of me?

Anyway, Aspen had me, Lance and Owen wait for her and watch from outside the room during the c-section. Her parents were away on a cruise and couldn't make it, but even if they could, I don't think she would have wanted them to watch, they can be a little overbearing, to say the least.

We stayed for a while so we could meet him and hold him. He was literally the cutest baby I've ever seen and I had tears in my eyes when I held him for the first time. Lance and Aspen were bawling, but hey, I don't judge, that'll be me and Owen in a little while.

"That's your auntie Alise, she's your godmother and she's going to be the mother of your future wife," Aspen said as she introduced us, handing her to me. I laughed. We have this dream that Hunter and Charlie are gonna grow up together and be soulmates and get married and have their own beautiful little family. It'd be amazing if it worked out that way, but if it doesn't I'm hoping they'll still be best friends.

As much as I wanted to stay with them, it's important for them to bond with him on their own, so we left around midnight.

Lucy stayed in a hotel and her flight was scheduled for 3:35pm, so we met her for breakfast and we gushed about Hunter the whole time while Owen sat there with a look of amusement. At least it wasn't annoyance. How could you ever be annoyed when talking about a baby?

Owen hasn't heard the end of it since we left the hospital. He also hasn't heard the end of how nervous it makes me for when I have Charlie, but instead of being dismissive like he used to be, he actually let me go into further detail about why I was feeling that way. He told me I'd get through it and I'm the strongest person he knows and I felt so much better after that.

Lance took off the first few days but he couldn't change around any more appointments with clients and had to go back to work, so Aspen bonded with Hunter for the next few days before asking me to help. We both thought it'd be good practice for me and Owen for when Charlie arrives.

A baby is a hell of a lot more work than I anticipated. I mean, I went into it knowing there was a lot but books and peoples stories definitely don't prepare you for the real thing. Owen came over too when Carl gave him the day off because I thought it'd be good for him. He outright refused to change Hunter's diaper though, to which I asked what he's going to do when Charlie explodes in her pants and he's the only one there to change her, and he said we'd cross that bridge when it comes. I found it amusing.

Changing diapers can be gross, but Aspen got the hang of it pretty quick. Hunter peed on her a few times, so she learned to put a wipe over him so he couldn't pee everywhere. That baby has some strength behind his pee, it's like a rocket. And I would know - the first time I changed his diaper, he peed in my mouth. Owen got a kick out of that. I just think that when Charlie's born she's gonna end up pooping on him eventually and he's going to be freaking out, so guess who will be laughing then.

Lance suggested we take some parenting classes because he and Aspen did and they helped a lot, so there were a 3-day parenting class and a 1-day birthing class that I wanted to take. The parenting class is 1 day a week for 3 weeks, so I dragged Owen there this week and we had 2 more weeks to go. We signed up for the birthing class in 2 weeks because that's the only one that was available on such short notice.

Owen already tried to get out of the classes, saying he was going to be hanging out at his buddies house (which he's been doing a lot more recently, especially since I was with Aspen and Hunter most of the time), but I didn't let that excuse work.

Since we've been helping Aspen so much (or I have, rather), I forgot about the fact that we have to set up our nursery, so one morning when we both had the day off, we were relaxing by watching TV because I'm pregnant and I've been helping with Aspen and Owen has been working his long hours, we were both exhausted and needed a break.

"Holy shit, we need to get a crib and changing table!" I said, sitting up and looking at Owen with my eyes wide. It just popped into my head. Everything has been so hectic recently, this is the only time we've had to relax and things were setting in now. "Owen, we don't have the nursery ready. What the hell! Aspen had hers done MONTHS before Hunter came. We're 7 weeks out and Aspen had Hunter a couple of weeks before she was even due! What happens if Charlie is early and we don't have anything we need and we have to put her in a Pack n' Play and change her on the floor and I don't wanna be that parent!"

"Alise, calm down. There's no need to panic," he said calmly, rubbing my back gently to calm me down. "We have everything set up and into place, we just have to get the crib and changing table and I'll set them up. It'll be fine."

He was right. I finished sorting out everything we got from the baby shower and we had almost everything we needed - but the crib and changing table. The most important parts, how the hell could we have forgotten that?

I sighed, nervousness still bubbling in my stomach. "When will we go?" I asked.

"How about right now? Get it over with, calm you down. We'll get some ice cream and toast on the way back too." he smiled, still rubbing my back gently.

"I don't like ice cream and toast anymore, Owen. It's gross," I said, pulling a face. I'd realized how gross it was the last time I had it and the bread was all soggy, as it usually gets, but it just made me nauseous the last time I had it and I wondered why the hell I liked it in the first place.

He raised his brows, "Alise, you just talked about how you wanted it so bad last night." he was totally confused and I could tell.

"I know, but I'm over it now. I kinda want pickles… would it be weird to put them in ice cream? Oooh, or a grilled cheese!" I said, thinking out loud.

"Disgusting, but not as bad as pickles and jam," he said, making a disgusted face. I pulled one too just thinking about it. "We'll grab some pickles and ice cream from the store on the way back, and you can pick what you want and I'll make it when we get back. How does that sound baby?"

I nodded, "Can we get the ice cream from Jackie's?" I asked. It was the local ice cream place around here. Owen nodded as he stood up. "And can I get a large chocolate hazelnut and caramel cone with m&m's?"

"Still with pickles?" he asked hesitantly, holding out his hand for me.

I groaned, "Yes with pickles!" I said, grabbing his hand.

"Whatever you want baby," he said, chuckling as he pulled me up with ease.

I let out a groan on the way up and put my hand on my back. I thought that people were just exaggerating when they said they popped during the last month, but they definitely weren't. Aspen didn't pop as much as I did and I can't even see my toes now.

It's hard getting up by myself (sometimes with the help of other people, too. Lowery tried to help me up the other day and face planted on the couch next to me, but that's because he's weak. Owen's just been putting that extra time in the gym so he's never seemed to have a problem with it. I can barely even get on my socks at this point. I cannot wait for Charlie to come… then again, we have all this shit to do, so I actually can wait.

x x x

We went to the baby store and the first thing I did was talk to the salesperson about the best and safest crib and changing table. She was really helpful and gave us a few options before leaving us to decide on our own.

"I really like this one…" I said, pointing to a white crib that was the most aesthetically pleasing as well as one of the safest, the only thing was the price tag.

"Alise… that's ridiculous. Why would you pay 700 dollars on that where there's a perfectly good crib and changing table here on sale for 350 dollars?" he said, pointing to the one next to him that was a rich mahogany color. I pulled a face, that wouldn't look cute in the nursery with the other white furniture, at all. "It works the same as that one and is just as safe."

"But this will go with the nursery more…" I said, looking back at the one I originally picked. "And that's ugly," I said honestly. There was no way I was putting that ugly thing in the cute little nursery, it would be an eyesore. Owen was definitely not focused on aesthetics at this point.

"What about this one?" he pointed to one that was a lighter color wood and I pulled a face. Even worse.

"I like the white," I said. I wasn't going to give up on the white, the other furniture is white, it only makes sense.

"Fine," he sighed, looking around and finding a white one. "What about this?" he asked, walking over to it. "This is 400 and it has a lifetime warranty. The changing table is only 150 with it. It's just as safe as the other one," he said. I raised my brows and looked at him, then back to the other crib. It was just so much nicer and less bulky. "Alise, we're not spending 700 dollars on a crib just because we have the money now… well, we don't even have it yet. I still have to go to sign all the papers."

We got a call from our lawyer that one of us had to go down to San Diego next weekend to sign papers and everything will be official. They couldn't push back the date and the doctor said I shouldn't be flying at this point, so Owen was going to go on his own. Not that I minded, I really didn't want to be on a plane, god forbid Charlie decides she wants out earlier. Which I'm also praying doesn't happen then because Owen wouldn't be here.

I sighed and nodded, giving in. "You're right," I said after thinking about it. There was no reason to spend that much on a crib just for aesthetics and like he said, it's just as safe. "This one's perfect," I said, looking at it. "I can picture Charlie in it already." I smiled at him, rubbing my belly and looking down at it. He smiled back at me.

"Then this one it is," he said, gently putting his hand on my stomach and kissing my lips lightly before going to tell the salesperson we decided on one.

x x x

When we got home after getting pickles and ice cream, I made myself a grilled cheese with pickles on it and was basically drooling while I was cooking it. I took one bite and sighed at the taste - it was actually pretty freaking good. Now, I don't think I'll be saying that after Charlie's born, but hey, at least it's not charcoal.

Owen brought all of the boxes for the crib and changing table up by himself while I made my sandwich. I offered to help and he nearly bit my head off, saying he could do it by himself and I'm pregnant so I shouldn't even be offering help. I just rolled my eyes, called him a dick under my breath and got to cooking.

By the time I finished my sandwich, it was already 6 and about an hour after we got home. I made Owen a roast beef sandwich and stuck it in the fridge for when he was done, then I made myself a cup of tea and went upstairs to see how he was doing. I walked to the nursery and I looked at the scene in front of me.

He barely had the frame up and I could tell he was clearly having difficulties. I glanced over at the directions that were thrown on the opposite side of the room. Clearly, he doesn't use directions and that's why he struggles so much.

"Need any help?" I asked as I leaned against the doorframe, blowing on my tea.

"No, I got this. Don't ask me that again," he said, clearly frustrated as he started hammering the frame.

"Dick," I mumbled, taking a sip of my tea. I was a little amused though and didn't take it personally.

"What did you just say?" he asked, looking up at me.

"Your butt looks good in those jeans," I smirked.

Owen sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, whatever," he said, getting back to hammering, clearly not in the mood.

"Okay," I said, rolling my eyes and walking back downstairs, where I ran into Carl at the bottom of the stares, he must have just gotten home. "Hey Carl." I smiled.

"Hey Alise, you have a good day?" he asked. I nodded and opened my mouth to go on, but we heard a bang coming from upstairs, followed by Owen cursing. I couldn't help but laugh.

"What's going on up there?" Carl asked with his brows raised.

"Owen's setting up the crib," I explained.

Carl nodded, "Gotcha. I remember when I had to set up the crib. It's a pride thing." he said, patting my shoulder before walking away. I laughed and nodded, I was beginning to see that.

x x x

The next day, Owen and I both had work, but we also had a parenting class at 6, so he picked me up on the way and we went. He didn't complain, although I could tell he hated it. He bit his tongue because he knew it made me happy and I just wanted to be prepared. He'll be thanking me when Charlie's here.

We went home and my mom cooked everyone dinner - chicken, roasted potatoes and vegetables. It was delicious. For dessert, I had ice cream and I actually tried a pickle with it, it tasted pretty damn good.

The next morning, Owen went to work, but I had the day off, so I spent it at Aspen's. Hunter was getting cuter and cuter as the days went on - and bigger and bigger. He was a huge baby coming out and Aspen was pretty happy she had a c-section. I'm praying Charlie isn't as big as him, otherwise, I probably won't ever shrink back to normal size.

That aside, I loved helping with Hunter. While he was asleep, Aspen and I talked. And of course, the topic somehow led to sex because she was complaining she couldn't have sex for another 4 to 6 weeks, even though she had a c-section. It was something to do with the fact that she had Placenta Previa.

So, since she mentioned that, I mentioned how it feels like Owen and I haven't really been having sex recently and we used to do it at least 5 times a week before. Now it was down to 1 or 2. I asked Aspen if it was like that with her and Lance, but her situation was different because of the Placenta Previa, so we couldn't really compare. She told me to talk to him and get on that 'd', in true Aspen fashion.

Later that night around 9pm, we were watching Game of Thrones in the living room and my parents already went to bed and Lowery was out with his friends, so it was just me and Owen. I just finished a cup of tea and put the mug in the dishwasher and when I walked back into the living room, I plopped on the couch and let out a sigh.

Owen was still focused on the TV. I let out another sigh. Now I was just being dramatic, but it worked because he looked at me. "What?" he asked, or rather snapped, but I let it go because it was a good part of the show.

"I feel like we don't have sex anymore. Is it because my stomach is so big now? Because I might be super uncomfortable and I look like a pumpkin, but I feel like that's getting in the way of our sex life and after Charlie's born, we won't be able to do anything for 6 weeks and I don't want to make it longer than it has to be." I explained.

He looked at me with a blank expression. "Alise, we just had sex last night," he said. I sighed, it was true, but I don't know why it didn't feel like we were actually having sex. Not to mention we're down one round that lasts like 10 minutes and that's just not cutting it.

"Yeah, but I feel like it's always in bed, it's not like we're really having sex," I said, not even understanding my own thoughts at this point.

"Our definitions of sex are completely different then," he said, looking back at the TV.

"Owen, I'm being serious," I said, catching his attention again.

He sighed, "Fine, do you want me to fuck you on the kitchen table so this time your family can walk in on us?" he asked, raising his brows.

I thought about it, "Well…"

"Alise!" he exclaimed.

"What, I'm pregnant!" I exclaimed, sighing.

"So that means you want people to walk in on us having sex?" he asked in disbelief.

"No, it just means I'm horny and I wanna have sex some places besides the bedroom. It doesn't have to be in the kitchen." I explained.

"We live in a house with your parents and brother, our bedroom is all we have," he said.

I sighed, "Forget it." I shook my head.

"I don't see why you're mad at me." he sighed.

"I'm not mad at you, you're an amazing husband," I said, rubbing his shoulder, but I was being sarcastic.

"I can hear the sarcasm in your voice." he raised his brows.

"Whatever," I rolled my eyes, looking back at the TV.

I could have sworn he mumbled something along the lines of "Pain in my ass", but I couldn't be sure.

"What did you just say?" I snapped, squinting at him.

"I said 'I love you honey'." he smiled at me.

I raised my brows, skeptical. I couldn't tell if that's actually what he said or if he was just being an ass. "I love you too." I said as we both turned our attention back to the TV. I sighed. Well, that conversation went nowhere fast.

x x x

The next week things have been getting harder and harder to deal with - physically and mentally. My whole body hurt, my temper was wearing thin because I've barely been sleeping because of how uncomfortable I was. I've hit a whole new level of exhaustion I didn't know existed and I actually snapped at a customer today, so my mom got Carl to pick me up and bring me home. I haven't been driving either because I've been too tired and I can barely get comfortable enough to drive because my damn stomach is so big. Did I mention it's still getting bigger? If it gets any bigger, I'm afraid I'll pop.

Owen had the day off today and he went out with a couple of his buddies - who he's been hanging out with a lot more recently. I've barely seen him home at night because he's been out with them and it pissed me off, but I was also glad he had friends to hang out with, so I didn't want to complain. But I wanted to see my damn husband. I felt like I needed him now more than ever.

Then again, everything pissed me off at the moment.

I made myself a grilled cheese and pickle sandwich, ate it in the kitchen and then sat on the couch. I was going to turn on the TV, but I passed out before I could. I woke up to the sound of an engine running and it sounded a lot like a motorcycle. I hadn't checked the garage to see if Owen brought his bike out, but last time I checked, he'd barely been working on it. Just add that to the list of annoyances.

The noise was coming from right outside the house and it was so annoying and was starting to give me a headache. I waited about 3 minutes before groaning to myself and going to see what it was from. I could barely get off the couch, but with a groan and using whatever leg strength I had left, I was able to.

I waddled, yes, waddled, to the front door and opened it to see Owen in the driveway, sitting on what looked like a brand new Harley motorcycle. I raised my brows and immediately jumped to conclusions, was that his? Did he seriously buy a brand new fucking Harley?

Owen cut the engine and looked up at me, seeing me standing in the entrance way. "Oh, honey, I didn't realize you were home," he said, taking his helmet off and hanging it on the handlebar.

"What's that?" was the first thing I asked as I crossed my arms over my chest.

"You like it? I just bought it off a buddy of mine," he said, walking over to me.

"Are you fucking kidding me?" I said. I mean, was this a joke? Do you know how expensive these things are? And I don't care if he bought it from a buddy, they're still expensive as hell.

"What? Are you mad?" he asked, walking up the front steps and stopping in front of me. Did he really just ask me that question? I couldn't control what came out of my mouth next.

"You're a dick! I can't believe you bought a fucking Harley and you wouldn't let me buy furniture for our daughter!"

"I didn't think it'd be a big deal. And that furniture was way overpriced. She's going to grow out of it anyway." he said with a shrug as if it meant nothing. That only added to my anger.

"Are you serious, Owen? I can't believe you're justifying this and you really don't see what's wrong here."

"Come on, babe. I don't see why you're overreacting so much, I got a good deal," he said, walking over to me like he was going to grab my waist and pull me in for a hug but I pulled back.

"You're unbelievable," I said, shaking my head as I walked into the house. I didn't want to be anywhere near him right now. I was pissed.

I mean, we didn't even have the settlement money yet and he chose to buy a Harley over the crib I wanted to get for our daughter? How could he be so selfish?

"Honey, don't be like that…" he said as he followed me inside and shut the door behind him.

"Don't be like what, Owen? I'm not like anything." I said, walking up the stairs.

"Don't be pissed off," he explained.

"Don't be pissed off? Owen, how can I not be pissed off? I've barely seen you the past week and when I do you show up with a brand new Harley that you spent god-knows how much on. I have a headache and I'm so fucking tired and you're just adding to it. My feet are killing me and are swollen like I had an allergic reaction to something, they're sore and I can barely walk on them, but I still have to because how the hell else am I supposed to get around? I have shooting pains down my legs and frankly, my butt hurts all the time. So it hurts to stand and it hurts to sit. As if that isn't enough shit I have to deal with right now, you go and do something so fucking selfish and you don't even see how fucked up it really is!" I said, completely going off on a different tangent, but I haven't really told him exactly how I'm feeling because he hasn't bothered to ask. So I kind of just blew up on him.

"Alise… I…" he said, clearly lost for words.

"Oh, shove it. You don't care about anyone but yourself. This is literally the exact thing my father would have done." I said without thinking. Once it left my mouth, I couldn't take it back. Owen's eyes widened and I just shook my head and walked up the stairs before I said something else I was going to regret.


	15. Chapter 15

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 15**

**Summary:**

Alise is furious with Owen about buying the Harley and goes off on him, so he goes out with his friends and comes home drunk 2am, which only adds to Alise's frustrations. They get into a heated argument and Owen confesses something that Alise is surprised to hear. They come to an agreement after that and he tries to make it up for her. A few days later he goes to San Diego to fill out paperwork for the settlement money and Charlie decides she doesn't want to wait for daddy to come back and there's no holding her back.

*Lots of angst, be warned (it will get resolved though!)

* * *

There were some things about what I said during the fight with Owen regarding the Harley that I regret. One being that I exploded so quickly, but my reasons why were completely justified - I think so anyway. The other thing I regretted was when I told him that my father would have done the same thing, but it wasn't a lie. My dad actually did that to my mom before - instead of letting my mom get a safer, newer car when we were children, he wanted to get the older model and my mom realized why when she saw the brand-new, shiny motorcycle in the driveway. It just so happened to be a Harley.

I felt guilty about saying it to Owen, regardless of the fact that it was true. Me saying that meant bigger implications that I didn't believe were even true. This is the only thing Owen has done that reminded me of my father… but then when I thought about it, he's been distant recently and hanging out with his friends more than ever. That's exactly how my father was when my mother was pregnant and even after she had me and Lowery. He was barely around for us. Owen was starting on that path, just like him. I hated seeing these parallels, but unfortunately, they're there.

I went to our bedroom and basically cried for a good 15 minutes before Lucy called me. I was hesitant to answer but did anyway. I reasoned that hearing her voice would probably help and so would talking to her. She always had the best advice about things. I answered the phone and tried to make it sound like I wasn't crying, but the second she asked me how I was doing, I broke down into tears and told her everything that happened.

"Wow, Alise, I'm so sorry…" she said. I sniffed in and let out a breath, it felt better to get it all out. "I wish I could help you with all of the physical pain you're having, but I'll just remind you that it's all going to be worth it. In a month and a half, you'll be holding your little angel in your arms and be thinking that it was all totally worth it."

I couldn't help but smile at the thought of holding Charlie in my arms and seeing her beautiful little face. Lucy was right - all of this pain and discomfort will totally be worth it.

"And as for Owen buying the Harley… he would never do anything to hurt you deliberately. I mean, Lachlan tried to buy a go-kart last week and his defense was that it was all pimped out - it was i3,000 dollars/i," she said putting emphasis on the price.

"Doesn't he live on an army base? Where would he even keep that?" I scoffed and couldn't help but laugh at the irony of it. That was totally something Lachlan would do.

"Exactly my point! He set up a meeting with the owner and everything before I told him how ridiculous it was and he eventually agreed with me. It was like pulling teeth though…" she said, then sighed. "My point is, Owen's a man and men do stupid things without thinking all the time. It's us women who keep them grounded."

"Well, the difference is between that and this is that Owen didn't run it by me first…"

"That's true. You should definitely talk to him. It's the only way you're going to get through this. Assert yourself and tell him that it hurts that he did that and explain why so he doesn't pull the 'you're being irrational because you're pregnant' card." she said.

I scoffed, "He still probably will."

"Maybe not. You don't know unless if you try," she said.

"I guess you're right," I said begrudgingly. She was, I just didn't want to admit it.

Lucy laughed, "Aren't I always?" she said. I chuckled. "What's the real problem though, Alise?" she asked softly after a pause.

"What do you mean? The problem is that he spent so much money on a bike that we should be using for Charlie." I explained, getting a little defensive.

"I get that. But I mean, is that really it? Or is there something else that's bothering you? Besides all the wacky hormones and pregnancy stuff…" she said. I sighed as I thought about it. Was the bike really the only issue? Or was there something else? Something deeper… "Just keep that in mind before you talk to him," she added.

"Yeah… okay. I will. Thanks, Luce, you always know exactly what to say." I smiled.

"Anytime love! Now, go make things right with your hubby. The longer you wait the worse you'll feel." she told me, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll do it now." I said.

"That's the spirit! Text or call if you need anything, okay Lise?"

"Okay. I'll let you know how it goes, bye!" I said, hearing her say 'Bye!' before I hung up the phone. I let out a sigh and looked at the time - 4:45pm. I should really talk to him now before my parents and Lowery get home. But first, I had to pee.

x x x

I went downstairs and couldn't find Owen in the living room or the kitchen, I checked outside to see if the Harley was still there, but it wasn't. I let out a groan and felt the anger bubbling in my stomach and I subconsciously clenched my fist. When I realize I did that, I let out a sigh and flattened my hand out. I breathed again and pushed out all the angry bubbles. Me getting angry would only make matters worse… besides, he'll be home soon. I'll talk to him then.

Lowery got home at 5:30 and we decided to cook dinner. It'd keep my mind off of Owen, who had yet to come home and I even called and texted him and got no reply. Lowery made cheese burgers, turkey burgers (lean meats for me), and barbeque chicken, while I made buffalo cauliflower (which tasted like buffalo wings, they're amazing) and I also made rice pilaf.

We finished just in time for Carl and my mom got home around 7 and we set the table. I was unsure if I should make a place for Owen and decided I'd slip away into the other room and call him again. "Hey Owen, it's Alise again… we're having dinner and I just wanted to know when you'll be home… I, uh, we have a lot to talk about… okay, I love you." I said before hanging up the phone and letting out a sigh.

"Was that Owen, sweetheart?" my mom asked, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't think he's going to make it for dinner," I said.

"Well, then we'll have to make a plate for him." she smiled before walking away. I let out a sigh, worried that Owen now wasn't returning my calls, especially after our fight earlier. I tried to push it aside and put on a brave face, I didn't want my family knowing what happened… it was still too fresh. I didn't want all the questions to start or their opinions to be weighed in. It wasn't the right time.

x x x

Owen didn't come home and I tried to stay up to wait for him, but I was so exhausted, I fell asleep in our bed at 9. I woke up in the middle of the night and I felt so thirsty. I glanced at the time, it was nearly 2am and I noticed Owen wasn't next to me. I thought that after our fight, he might be sleeping on the couch or something.

I went downstairs slowly, holding onto my back for support. God, I felt like such an oompa loompa it was ridiculous. I squinted my eyes because the light in the kitchen was on. I didn't hear anything and figured someone forgot to turn off the light. I walked in and headed straight for a cup, hearing utensils scratching along a plate from behind me, causing me to jump and turn around, seeing Owen sitting at the table, eating the plate my mom set aside for him.

"Owen, you scared me!" I said, putting my hand on my chest. I could have sworn I felt my heart stop for a second.

"You scare too easily," he mumbled as he chewed, I could hear a slight slur in his voice.

"Are you just getting home now?" I asked, suspicious as I opened the cabinet and grabbed a glass.

"Yeah," he said, still chewing and sounding bothered by my questions.

"Where were you?" I asked, filling up the glass with water. I wanted answers for why the hell he was coming home so late and being rude.

"Why does it matter?" he asked, now I could really hear the slur in his voice.

"Are you drunk?" I asked, then I thought about how he'd gotten home. "Did you drive your bike home?" I asked, worried. He's driven home when he was tipsy before, but never drunk, but with the way he's been acting recently, I didn't know what to expect.

"Relax, I got a ride," he said, his annoyance evident in his tone of voice.

"Really Owen?" I asked, putting my hand on my hip. Was he really being a dick right now?

"Yes, really. Chuck drove me home," he said simply.

"No- that's not… that's not what I meant-" I said, trying to gather my thoughts on what to say next. I just sighed. "Forget it. This clearly isn't the time to be having a conversation."

"I think it's the perfect time to have a conversation," Owen said, standing up and walking over to the sink. "So go, tell me everything I did wrong and call me a dick for it," he said, dropping his plate into the sink, making a hell of a lot of noise.

I was quick to get angry, feeling my blood start to boil, but then I remembered our fight earlier and how shitty I felt because of it, a fight is the last thing I wanted right now. Plus, the last thing I wanted to do was wake anyone up.

"Owen, that's not… I can't believe-" I stammered over my words, unsure of how to gather my thoughts right now. I was tired and exhausted, mentally and physically. "It's just, there's a lot going on right now and I feel like I'm alone during most of it because you're always out with your friends," I explained. I thought I probably wouldn't get a good reception right now, seeing as he was drunk, but I still said it anyway.

"I've been with my friends a lot because you've been with Aspen and Hunter every goddamn day," he said, clearly getting defensive.

"I've tried to get you to come with me, but you didn't want to," I said, controlling the tone of my voice so I didn't sound annoyed back, even though I was pretty annoyed.

"Why do you think I'd want to go with you? Taking care of someone else's baby isn't something I'm interested in." he said honestly.

I sighed, "Owen, it's good practice for Charlie. Taking care of Hunter isn't easy and neither will taking care of Charlie. If you barely help with Hunter - and it seems like you don't even care about it, how the hell am I supposed to feel about having a baby with you? It makes me worry."

Owen rolled his eyes, "I'm sorry that I don't want to help you with Aspen's child, but that's just it - he's Aspen's child, not ours. I don't get why you're helping them so much. They need to do it by themselves."

I raised my brows, did he really not get it? "Aspen and Lance are like family to me and now Hunter is too. I'm sorry I just thought you'd feel the same way, I guess they don't mean as much to you as they do me, especially after all they've done for us..." I was a little sad coming to this realization, but that's what it's felt like.

"They're like family to you, Alise. You grew up with Aspen your whole life. I've known her for 7 months."

"You're right," I sighed. "I don't know why I thought you'd feel the same way. You barely know them." I said, shaking my head and looking down, beating myself up over thinking that.

"Don't do that." he groaned.

I looked at him, confusion written all over my face. "Don't do what?" I asked.

"Make me feel guilty."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty…"

"Yes you are, you're always trying to make me feel guilty. Especially when I say no to things, you just throw yourself a big pity party," he said, throwing his hands in the air and rolling his eyes dramatically.

I felt my stomach drop and tears were flooding my eyes. "Why are you being such an asshole right now?"

"Oh, I'm being an asshole now? Not you when you were screaming at me, basically telling me I'm a piece of shit like your father?"

"I didn't mean it like that! I was just so frustrated, Owen. You'd think you'd be a little more understanding, seeing as you just brought home a brand new Harley that was god-knows how expensive when we're supposed to be saving for Charlie and if you're going to say anything about the settlement money than you can shove it because the second I mention buying something with it, I'm wrong and I'm being ridiculous."

"That's because you wanted to get something that was way overpriced for no reason-" he started to say, but I cut him off.

"How much was the bike, Owen?" I asked, my arms crossed over my chest. My legs were shaking slightly and I didn't really want to hear the answer.

"Chuck gave me a really good deal-"

I cut him off again, "How much was the damn bike?!"

"15,000," he said, looking down as if he were guilty. He was guilty. Guilty of being an idiot.

"That's rich. 15-fucking-thousand dollars, Owen? That could have gone into Charlie's college fund or something for Charlie. You know, Charlie, your daughter-"

"I fucking know who Charlie is!" he practically yelled at me. His face was red, enraged with anger and I couldn't help the tears that flooded my eyes. I hated when he yelled, I hated when anyone yelled… it reminds me of when my dad would yell at my mother in front of Lowery and I… "God dammit, Alise! I'm sorry I didn't help with Hunter. I'm just- I'm just fucking scared, okay?" his voice was much calmer now. I looked up at him, surprised by his declaration. "I'm scared that I'll be just like my father, or your father, and I bought the bike to distract myself and I didn't realize I was doing the very thing that would make me just like them!" he said, completely breaking down. Tears were streaming down his face as he put his head in his hands.

I was still crying after his confession because he said it with such sincerity, I just couldn't stop crying. I walked over to him and hugged him tightly. He clutched onto me and cried into my shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, Alise. I'm so fucking sorry." he pleaded through his tears.

I tried to calm down, taking deep breaths to regain my composure. "It's-" I started to say, but I hiccuped instead. "I just-" I didn't know what to even say. Now I was the one lost for words and it's usually the other way around. "I'm sorry I said you were like my father, you will never be like him or like your father," I said, stroking the back of his head. "I understand why you did it… just please, Owen, please talk to me when you're feeling like this?" I said as I pulled away to look at him. "Don't do something like that again." I pleaded with him.

Owen nodded, grabbing my hands. "I won't. I'll give the bike back, get my money back. We'll put it in Charlie's fund." he said. I sniffled in and nodded, wiping the stray tears that were rolling down his cheeks. "I love you and I'm sorry for being such a dick," he said, tightening his grip on my hands. "I know I say this all the time, but I'll try to talk to you more… it's just really hard-" his voice cracked with emotion and he started to tear up again.

"I know, baby," I said softly, reaching up and catching the tears with my thumb and running my fingers through his hair, above his ear. I hated seeing him like this, all broken down. I wanted to make it better. I noticed Owen staring at me, studying my face. He kissed my hand and looked at me, right in the eyes. I swear I could get lost in his eyes forever if he let me, but he broke his gaze to lean in and kiss me.

He kissed me with so much passion as he grabbed the back of my neck. I don't think he's ever kissed me this passionately before. I easily got swept up in the kiss as he started walking backward, with me following, until he sat at the kitchen table, all without breathing the kiss. He pulled my waist so I was sitting on his lap. I grabbed onto the back of his neck, running my fingers through his hair.

I pulled away to take a breath, "You smell like tequila." I said with a small smile, still tangling my fingers in his hair.

"I'm not that drunk," he admitted. Even though he smelled like tequila, he wasn't slurring his words anymore.

I raised my brows, "Oh really?"

"Really. I had a cup of coffee before I came home and I'm starting to sober up now, especially after that amazing dinner. Everything is starting to get clearer and less fuzzy. I realize how much of a dick I was." he said, drawing circles on my waist with his thumb.

"Are you just saying that because you want some?" I asked, my brows still raised.

"What? No… why would you think that?" he asked, breaking eye contact and looking guilty.

I rolled my eyes and stood up. As heated as that kiss was, I was exhausted and the energy I exerted from that whole fight made me even more exhausted. In one quick motion, Owen got up and swooped me up bridal style, catching me off guard.

"Owen! Don't drop me, macho man," I laughed.

"I won't drop you. You know, I can lift over 200 pounds," he said matter-of-factly with a smirk.

"Ah, is that so," I said, grabbing onto the back of his neck, unable to hide the small smile on my lips.

"Yeah," he nodded confidently as he started walking towards the stairs. "I could do bench presses with you in my sleep."

"Are you saying I'm 200 pounds?" I asked seriously, my brows raised. I gained about 35 pounds during the pregnancy, leaving me at 151 pounds. Nowhere near 200. I knew he didn't imply it that way though, I was just busting his balls.

"What? No! Now you're just putting words into my mouth!" he chuckled, finally reaching the top of the stairs and pushing our bedroom door open.

I laughed, "I know, I'm just kidding. Now, make love to me like you've never made love before."

"Whatever you want, you shall receive," he said, closing the door with his foot and laying me on the bed gently before crawling on top of me.

"You're an idiot." I laughed, grabbing onto the back of his neck and catching his lips in another passionate kiss.

x x x

The next day, Owen returned the bike to his friend and got all of his money back and we put it right in our Charlie savings account. The next couple of days leading up to his flight to San Diego, he has been doing everything he can to make it up to me, including going out of his way to get me things like flowers, magazines, my favorite food (which was whatever I was craving at the moment), pickles and ice cream. He's been giving me foot rubs before I even ask for them and massaging my shoulders - he seriously has magic hands and gives the best massages ever.

We talked more the past few days than we had in the past couple of weeks. He asked me how I was feeling every day and let me totally unload on him. Whether I was complaining about a customer at work, how much my butt or back was hurting, how tired I was, or how itchy my damn stomach was (to which the next morning he got me a cocoa butter anti-itch and anti-stretch mark cream that works wonders). Not only did he ask me about how my day was - and he actually listened. Also, when I asked him about how his day went he actually went into detail instead of just being like "Fine", like he had in the past. There's just so much more communication going on and I love it.

I loved this side of him: caring, attentive, loving. All of the things he has inside of him. We also made love every single night, and even though it wasn't in the kitchen or the shower, it still seemed like sex to me - and we'd go on for a couple of rounds, no matter how tired we were - so that was a plus.

He was more attached and clingy than usual and I think that's because he was going to San Diego. I could tell he was nervous about it because whenever I mentioned it, he just said 'yeah, yeah, it'll be fine', but I heard the worry in his voice. It was completely out of his comfort zone and he was going to be doing the things he hated - flying, paperwork, and meetings.

I wish I could go with him, but the doctor said no and I don't even think I could handle sitting on a plane for a few hours and not to mention it was a connecting flight and those were the worst. I'm not gonna lie - I was a little worried for him. I don't know why I just was. I'd even mentioned it to my mom on the way to work yesterday morning, but she reminded me that he's an adult and he's got this. It's just silly paperwork, he'll get through it. I knew she was right.

He left for his flight at 4am and Carl drove him to the airport. As much as I'd like to see him off to the airport, mama likes her sleep, especially when Charlie keeps me up most of the night doing karate kicks or completely turning around. Her feet will be on one side of my belly one morning and on the opposite side that night. She's one active little girl.

He called me when he got to the hotel at 11am and complained about how on the first flight he was sitting next to someone who had no sense of personal space and on the second flight, he was sitting next to a mom with her crying baby. Flights made Owen cranky in general, add those two things into the mix and he was really not happy.

He had a meeting that day at 4pm and then one tomorrow at 10am and then another at 12pm. He wasn't too happy about that and they were really giving us major hoops to jump through, but there were different people he had to meet with and talk to before they'd finally sign the money over. I'm actually kind of glad I don't have to be there.

The next morning, my alarm went off at 7:15am and I turned it off with a loud groan. I felt like I had just fallen asleep minutes ago, I kept waking up throughout the night with sharp pains in my stomach and I figured it was Charlie working her way up to a black belt in karate. I rolled out of bed and took a warm shower, feeling the pain once again in my side. It wasn't unbearable, so I didn't have a reason to suspect anything was wrong.

I went downstairs and saw Lowery in the kitchen, making his coffee.

"Morning butt breath," he said as I walked into the kitchen.

"Morning dickhead," I laughed as I opened the fridge to see if we had any eggs. Thankfully, we did, otherwise I would have made Lowery go get them for me.

"How's Owen doing in San Diego?" he asked, leaning his back against the counter with his arms crossed over his chest as he waited for the coffee to heat up. I grabbed a pan and put it on the stove right when I felt another sharp pain in my side. I froze and bit down on my bottom lip, waiting it out. "Earth to Alise." he said, waving his hands in the air.

I sighed and hesitated until the pain went away. "He's probably having the time of his life," I said sarcastically.

Lowery scoffed, "Between the meetings and paperwork?"

"Exactly. His favorite thing." I said sarcastically as I cracked an egg on the pan. I felt Charlie kick and immediately put my hand on my stomach because between the pain and the kicking, that hurt a lot.

"Are you okay?" Lowery asked as I moved to get a mug from the cabinet for my tea.

"Yeah, everything's fine…" I trailed off when I felt another sharp pain and this time it caused me to drop the mug on the floor and it shattered. "Fuck." I let out breathlessly. Okay, now THAT one hurt - a lot.

"I got it," he said, bending down to pick up the pieces. "Are you sure you're okay?" he asked, looking up at me. I nodded, but then winced as I felt another sharp pain in my side.

"Something's wrong…" I said through the pain. The pain was getting worse and worse and lasting longer. "It hurts… r-really bad." I said, doubling over as I grabbed onto the counter for support. It literally took the breath out of me.

"Okay… is there anything I can do?" he asked. I could tell he was worried and had absolutely no idea what to do.

"Just get me my phone… it's in my room on the nightstand." I said through the pain that still lingered. I gritted my teeth and squeezed onto the counter harder as if it would help.

Lowery quickly ran upstairs and got it for me and I called Dr. McKenzie. She said she could squeeze me in if I went right now and even though Lowery was supposed to go to work, he drove me. I was really worried as it dawned on me that something was really wrong.

x x x

"Right, just as I thought - you're going into labor." Dr. McKenzie said after doing a full examination.

"What?!" I asked, completely shocked. "I mean, I'm not due for another 3 weeks… I didn't even feel my water break…" I said as if that were the only indication someone was in labor. I knew better, I was just in shock.

"Many times women don't report feeling or seeing their water break, it could happen while you're going to the bathroom or in the shower," she answered, taking her gloves off and putting them in the garbage. I nodded, feeling my stomach do flips. Was this really happening? "You need to get to the hospital right now. Your brother can take you, right?" she asked. I nodded. "I'll clear my patient schedule and meet you there. Congratulations, Alise! It's finally happening!"

I beamed at the idea of finally seeing my little angel, but then my eyes widened and I suddenly felt my stomach drop. Owen was a 4-hour plane ride away and I was going into labor - right now. Holy shit.


	16. Chapter 16

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 16**

**Summary:**

Alise is worried Owen won't make it in time to see the birth of their baby, but when she's finally born, both of their lives change forever. They're so elated with joy and are so happy that their little angel is finally brought into this world. The first few days are tough and the next few weeks are even tougher and Alise starts to worry that maybe she's not as good as a mother as she could be.

**Trigger warning, giving birth (not in full detail) and some angst but a hell of a lot of fluff

* * *

Lowery took me to the hospital and while he was driving, I called Owen. He didn't pick up the phone, so I assumed he was in one of the meetings.

"Owen… Charlie's coming and I don't know how long it'll be… just please call me back..." I said. I was completely panicking at this point. This is not how I pictured this happening, I was supposed to be excited for Charlie to come, but now all I can think is how much I don't want her to come. Not yet. "I-I can't do this without you Owen, I need you here…" I said, wincing as I felt another sharp pain in my side. "Please call me back. I love you." I said before hanging up. I let out a sigh and tried to stop the tears that were now rolling down my cheeks.

"Aw, Lise… don't cry. It's going to be fine, I'm right here with you, okay?" Lowery said, reaching out to grab my hand, which I squeezed for dear life because of the pain. "Ow!" he winced.

"Oh boo fucking hoo. I have a baby that's about to come out of my vagina, you'll be alright." I said, clearly not messing around at this point. I had little regard for his feelings in general, but since I'm in labor, I could really give less of a shit right now. "Fuck, it hurts like hell!"

"I can tell!" Lowery exclaimed, pulling his hand away. I just clutched onto my stomach and nearly cried out with pain. The hospital can't come soon enough.

x x x

We got to the hospital 10 minutes later and they immediately put me in a wheelchair and brought me into a room. Lowery didn't know what to do, but I forced him to come into the room with me. There was no way I was doing this alone. I told him to call our mom, who couldn't come until someone came into the store to cover her. I also told him to call Aspen, who said she'd be here as soon as possible.

They hooked me up to a monitor and an IV and did another examination. At this point, my contractions were 20 to 30 minutes apart and they lasted about 90 seconds. It felt like the longest 90 seconds of my damn life.

Owen finally called me back and I answered the phone, mid-contraction so I let out a breathy "Oh my god- Owen!" upon answering.

"Alise, I got your message. Is it really happening? You're going into labor right now?" he asked hastily.

"Y-yes!" I said through the pain as I counted down in my head, 20 more seconds and it'd go away.

"Fuck. Okay, I'm going to the airport and getting on the first flight out of here, okay honey? I'll be right there."

"H-hurry!" I pleaded, feeling the tears slide down my face as I blinked them out. He said 'I love you' before we hung up the phone and I let out a scream that was mostly out of frustration. "Holy fuck, I need something for the pain," I said, looking at a nurse, who was just walking into the room.

They gave me a few options to take, but if I took one to relieve the pain now, I couldn't have an epidural later and giving birth without an epidural would be 20 times worse than this pain. I accidentally called the nurse a mother fucker and then profusely apologized and she told me she understood, mothers during labor have said worse things to her before.

Aspen came shortly after I got off the phone with Owen and she was with baby Hunter, who was in a car seat. She also had a brown paper bag in her hands. That's when I started smelling something… was that buffalo wings?

"I brought Dairy Queen and buffalo wings…" she said, putting the car seat on the chair.

"Why the hell would you bring that?!" I asked, or snapped rather. I wasn't having a contraction right now, but my whole body was exhausted and I didn't really have patients right now. Plus, I was having a major hot flash and there was so much pressure in my lower abdomen I felt like I was about to pop any second.

"I was craving buffalo wings when I went into labor, so I didn't know if you might too."

"I'll take the ice cream, the wings make me nauseous," I said, grabbing the blizzard out of her hand.

"You brought buffalo wings?" Lowery asked from the chair he was sitting in. He was so not good at comforting me and since I snapped at him a couple of times, he sat down and shut up. God, I love him, but right now I didn't need to hear his voice.

"You want them?" Aspen laughed. I raised my brows as I took a bite of the ice cream, sighing at the taste and the coldness.

"I mean, can I? I haven't eaten breakfast yet since Alise went into labor and-"

"Just eat them," I said bluntly. Lowery widened his eyes as Aspen handed him the bag.

"Have at it, kid." she laughed. I rolled my eyes and put the blizzard down on the tray and started to get out of bed. "That much pain, huh?" she asked, helping me out of bed. I nodded as I walked over to the yoga ball the nurse gave me, saying that bouncing on it can help relieve some of the pain and pressure.

"It feels like my vagina is about to explode. God, this is the worst pain I've felt in my entire life. I don't even know how to explain it… were yours this bad?" I asked, sitting on the ball.

"Probably, but they did take me to get the C-section pretty quickly after we got here, so I didn't get them as frequently. How much are they happening?"

"Every 20 minutes for 90 seconds," I said, slowly bouncing on the ball.

"Fuck, that sucks. Will baby Hunter help you?" she asked, going to get him from the car seat and bringing him over to me. He was half asleep and he was rubbing his little eyes with his little hands and stretching them out.

"Hey handsome little man," I smiled as she handed him to me. He opened his eyes and had his puss on - the one he gets when someone wakes him up. "Such a crabby boy. Well, you're auntie Alise is about to have your future best friend and she is not taking it easy on me…" I said, which is right when a contraction came. I winced and Aspen was quick to take Hunter back in her arms as I doubled over from the pain. "I just hope Owen can find a flight and get here in time. I need him here, I can't do this without him." I said after the contraction passed.

Aspen put Hunter back in the car seat and looked at me. "Listen to me, you can do this without him if you have to. You have me here and I'll be here every step of the way, okay?"

"Please, can you stay with her? I don't wanna see her vagina!" Lowery exclaimed through eating the chicken wings.

"Lowery, I don't want you anywhere near this room when I'm giving birth. I'll knock your head off." I said honestly.

"I'm sure Owen will get here in time… on average labor lasts for about 8 hours and then usually an hour to two hours of pushing is needed." Aspen said. I shot her a death glare. Of course, I knew that. It's just not something I want to hear when it's almost been an hour of these painful contractions. "Not helping, got it." she laughed. I rolled my eyes and sighed as my phone went off on the counter. Aspen picked it up. "Oh! Owen got a flight and he's boarding in 15 minutes!"

That was the best news I've heard since hearing I was having Charlie. "Hold on a little bit longer, baby girl. Daddy will be here soon." I whispered while rubbing my belly.

x x x

5 hours later, my mom came to visit and took Lowery home with her just a few minutes ago because she could sense that her being there was making me even more anxious - and it was. She was trying to baby me while I was having a baby and that's not exactly what I needed right now. Lance came about 2 hours ago and was helping calm down Hunter when he started getting fussy. I don't blame him - he's been here for 5 hours and it was cutting into their routine. Hospital rooms aren't very fun for babies.

I was laying in bed with my head thrown back into the pillows and a cold compress on my forehead. I was literally sweating so much and I was so overheated. My contractions were about 5 minutes apart and once they hit the 2-3 minute mark is when I start pushing, so it was literally any second now.

"I-uh-sorry, should have knocked." I heard Owen's voice and I opened my eyes and looked at him. He was referring to the fact that Aspen was breastfeeding Hunter right at that moment.

"Owen!" I said. I could literally care less that my best friends boobs were out everywhere or that Owen saw them, I was just so happy he was there.

"I came as fast as I could baby…" he said, walking over to me and kissing my forehead. "How are you doing?"

"I feel like a sledgehammer is cutting through me every 5 fucking minutes and I'm about to have a big ass baby come out of my vagina!" I said, the anxiety flowing in. I nearly had 3 panic attacks so far because everything was just so much.

"It's gonna be okay, you're doing great," Owen said, grabbing my hand. I felt another contraction rip through me and I groaned at the pain.

"It just happened 2 fucking minutes ago!" I said breathlessly, clearly frustrated after the contraction stopped. Then my eyes widened, just as the nurse came in. She quickly checked me out.

"Alise, you're going to have to start pushing now. I'll get the doctor," she said, pressing the button to get a doctor in here. My eyes widened again as I let out a deep breath. By this time, Aspen had finished breastfeeding Hunter and she was standing on the other side of Owen.

"You got this!" she said, grabbing my hand.

Holy shit. It's happening.

centerx x x/center

After 30 minutes of pushing, Charlie was finally born (It literally felt like hours though) on May 7th at 5:37 pm. I was crying the second I heard her cry and looked over at Owen, who was crying too. The nurse handed her to me after they cleaned her up and I held her close. She was literally the most perfect thing I saw in my life, the amount of love I felt for her was overwhelming. She was beautiful.

"What's her name?" the nurse asked.

"Charlie Grace." Owen and I said at the same time. I looked at him and then back to our baby girl and smiled at her. I might have just gone through hell, but it was definitely all worth it.

She was 6 pounds and 5 ounces, which is smaller than most babies, but since she was 3 weeks early, it's normal for her to be that small. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about and she is completely healthy and that's really all Owen and I could ask for.

Aspen held Charlie for a few minutes and then she left with Lance and Hunter (who waited in the waiting room because I didn't want Lance to see my vagina or risk Hunter starting to cry with all of my screaming). They were going to come back tomorrow once we were settled in. Same thing with my parents and Lowery. We had to bond with Charlie alone for now.

I didn't expect to like breastfeeding and I was dreading it actually, I thought it was so weird and at first, I wasn't going to do it, but Aspen told me about how much a connection it helps to form with your baby and I felt our connection when I was feeding her. It sounds weird, but I guess you'd have to be a mom to know what it feels like.

"We did good. She's beautiful." I said, looking up at Owen with a smirk as I fed her.

"She looks just like you," Owen said as he watched me fed her. "You're both incredibly beautiful."

"Really? I think she looks more like you," I smiled, watching the way her arm stretched out and her hand grabbed at the air. The little noises she was making when she was eating was adorable. "She has your eyes," Her eyes were closed right now, but they were a beautiful shade of green, just like her daddy. "She's perfect." I said, looking back up at him.

"She is," Owen smiled, rubbing her cheek lightly with his thumb. "Our little Charlie," he said, smiling at both of us. "I'm so proud of you, too. You're literally the strongest woman I know. I don't think I could have done that."

"You probably wouldn't have, you'd be screaming for a c-section after the first contraction," I laughed. "Literally the worst pain of my life. It still hurts."

"What does it feel like?" he asked, pulling a face.

"Like a baby just stretched it out, what do you think it feels like you dick." I rolled my eyes, smacking his arm.

"Alise!" he said, rubbing his arm. "Mommy has to work on her language…" he said, looking at Charlie.

I rolled my eyes, "I'll teach her to call you and Lowery a dickhead, how about that?" I said.

"Then I'll use my clicker to get her to stop crying."

"Owen!" I scolded. We've been through this before, multiple times.

"I'm kidding." he laughed, shaking his head.

"You better be. I know you still have it too," I said.

"Never know when it'll come in handy," he said. I looked up at him with my brows raised. "Like, if we ever get a dog. I've used it on Dot and it works like a charm," he said, matter-of-factly. "Tried to use it on Loki, he just stared at me and walked away."

"As long as you stick to using it on animals I could care less... and Loki already thinks your a dumbass so it didn't faze him," I said, chuckling as I looked down at Charlie. I smiled at her. I couldn't get over how adorable she was. Owen just chuckled and shook his head.

x x x

"You're daddy's little angel," I heard Owen whisper as I slowly woke up. I was about to open my eyes, but he continued on. "You know, your mom is the best thing that ever happened to me and now so are you. I'm gonna be the best father to you that I can be. I'll never hurt you or do all the mean things my dad did to me. I'll always put you first, no matter what. And I'll always love you so much, with everything that I have. You deserve the world, Charlie, and I'm going to give you as much of it as I can. I love you more than anything in this world, princess and I will protect you no matter what. No man is gonna come within 20 feet of you until you're 18-"

I couldn't help but laugh and open my eyes. He was holding her close to his chest and looking down at her.

"-I don't care if mommy wants you and Hunter to get married. I'll teach him a lesson if he ever thinks he's going to take you away from me," he said with a smirk. I knew he knew I was awake by my laugh, even if he didn't look up at me.

"Threatening to teach a 3-week-old a lesson? I think you should wait until he's at least a month, maybe 2." I laughed, rolling my eyes.

Owen chuckled, "How much of that did you hear?" he asked.

"I just woke up, I don't know what you're even talking about," I said, acting like I didn't hear a thing. He just rolled his eyes and chuckled again, looking back at Charlie. "You're going to be a great dad, Owen," I said.

"I promised her I would be." he smiled, putting her back down in the bassinet. He sat next to me in the chair and I reached out for his hand. He grabbed my hand and lightly kissed it. "I love you, baby."

"I love you too." I smiled as he leaned forward and kissed my lips lightly.

"Go back to sleep. I'll be here when you wake up."

"You don't have to tell me twice." I laughed, closing my eyes and quickly falling back to sleep. This is probably the only time I will be getting sleep for the next… probably a long time.

x x x

I woke up when I heard a girls voice in the room. At first, I thought it was the nurse, so I tried to go back to sleep, but the sunlight shining through the window was making it impossible. Then I realized I recognized that voice.

My eyes widened as I opened my eyes and I first looked at the chair next to me, where Owen usually was, but he wasn't here. I looked over at the girl who stood there holding Charlie. It was Kira.

"What? What are you-" was all I could manage to say. I felt like I was heavily drugged and could barely move.

"I came to see my baby cousin!" Kira said, turning around to face me.

My eyes widened and I started to scream. "Get the fuck out of here!" I exclaimed, opening my eyes and sitting up straight. My vision was no longer blurred and I didn't feel like I was drugged. I was breathing heavily as my surrounding sunk in. I was in the hospital room, Kira was nowhere to be seen and Owen was sitting in the chair where he's always been sitting.

I looked over at the nurse, who was checking something on the machine and she looked at me with wide eyes. "Oh, no, not you! I had a nightmare…" I explained, taking a deep breath.

"No worries dear, I'll leave you be," she said before quickly leaving the room. I looked over at Owen, who was looking at me with a look of concern.

"Alise, what-"

"Your fucking psycho cousin was in here holding Charlie. I swear if that bitch comes within 10 feet of Charlie, I'll kill her." I said, enraged at the thought of it. Maybe that was a little harsh to say, but Kira is a psychopath and I don't want anyone like that near my baby.

"I'll never let that happen, Alise…" he said, reaching out to grab my hand. "Just go back to sleep, you need rest," he said, leaning forward to kiss the side of my head. I let out a sigh of relief that it was just a nightmare. A really shitty nightmare.

I thought it would be hard to sleep after that, but I guess I was just so exhausted because I passed right out.

x x x

The first few days were hard, like really hard. She slept a lot, but whenever she was awake, she would cry. I tried everything I could to make her stop and so did Owen. I felt like I was doing everything wrong even though I was following everything from the parenting books and parenting classes. I was so defeated because I was worried that Charlie was unhappy and I couldn't do anything to help her. I tried everything I could.

This feeling was hanging over me like a dark cloud for the first week or so, but I felt like I was so busy and constantly tending to Charlie that I didn't even have time to let it sink in. Owen helped too, of course.

Carl told him to take the first couple of weeks off so he could be with us. Owen was so helpful and involved. It was like he had the magic touch because whenever she'd be in my arms crying and I'd be shushing her, rocking her, talking to her, anything I could think of. Then he'd come in and take her and sing to her softly and she would be as quiet as a mouse and would eventually fall asleep.

Owen went back to work a week ago, so I've basically been on my own until he gets home around 5:30 or 6. She was usually fussy by that time because I had to keep her awake until 8 so I could put her to sleep for the night and all she wanted to do was sleep, but I've made a routine for her that I've been starting to follow and that meant there was a 3 and a half hour stretch because I want her to sleep longer at night and she's used to sleeping more frequently than that. When he got home and picked her up, she was completely relaxed and less fussy with him that she was with me. It was like he knew exactly what to do and I… it was like I knew nothing.

Aspen came over with Hunter just as I finished putting her down for a nap. It was 2pm, so Owen was at work for another 3 to 4 hours and I was home alone with Charlie, as I have been for the most part. I've barely left the house since Charlie was born, except for the times when my mom would watch her so I could go see Aspen for a couple of hours or something like that. Owen and I went out to the movies once when my mom, Lowery, and Carl were with her, but that was about it.

I took her for walks when it wasn't too cold out, but I still feel like I'm stuck inside a lot and that's torturous.

"Finally got her down," I said with a sigh as I sat next to her on the couch in the living room, putting the baby monitor on the coffee table. "How's this little guy doing?" I asked, looking at Hunter as he was breastfeeding. He was a chunky little guy and ate a lot, he was so cute. I rubbed his little hand as his eyes opened and he looked at Aspen. "Aw, I love it when they look up at you."

"I know, it's so cute," she smiled, looking down at him. I smiled and leaned back into the couch, letting out a small sigh. "How are you doing?"

I looked at her, "Pretty good." I said, but she wasn't convinced and her raised brows said it. "What?"

"Come on, I know you," she said. This time I raised my brows at her, confused. "You have a baby. It's a lot. You're exhausted. Unload on me. Tell me everything, you have to get it out." she said. I couldn't help but smile softly, then I sighed.

"It's just…" I began, I could feel the emotions rush through me already and my eyes started tearing up almost immediately. Everything I've been feeling came rushing through. "I feel like a complete failure with her. I mean, I planned everything out. We did the parenting classes, I read all of the books, I helped you with Hunter, I thought I was prepared but I wasn't… like at all," I said, trying to keep my emotions in check so I didn't start blubbering everywhere. "I just wish I were more like you. You have everything down pat. You have since Hunter was born. You're like freaking wonder woman or something…"

"If anything, I thought you had it all down," Aspen said honestly, causing me to raise my brows, really confused that it would seem that way. "Hell, I didn't read any of those parenting books and Lance and I went to one parenting class. You went to 3 and you have a bookshelf filled with books. You were so much more prepared than I was. I didn't feel like I was doing anything right the first couple of weeks either, you can ask Lance. I was a complete mess - especially those first few days. I didn't let it show because I knew all new moms went through that. I had nothing down pat. I was constantly second-guessing myself in the beginning. Nothing can prepare you for the real thing. You just have to wing it, make mistakes along the way, but be confident that you're doing the right things for her, because you are. It just feels like you're not because it's never like it is in those damn pregnancy books or mommy blogs." she said, saying 'mommy blogs' in a mocking tone because we've both read our fair share. Most of them seem like the most ideal scenarios and they make it seem like a cake walk.

I sighed, "It's just… it's like no matter what I do, I feel like she's always so unhappy with me. It's like the second I pick her up, she starts crying and wants Owen. I'm happy they're bonding, but what about me? Why can't I calm her down? It's like the only thing I do right is feed her and change her and for everything else she wants Owen."

"That's how I felt the first couple of weeks with Lance. It just seemed like he knew more than me and he does because he read all the books, just like you. I think there's just more pressure on the moms. Our babies are literally a part of us for 9 months and you want to do anything you can to make them happy."

"That's just it. I feel like I'm not. It's just so frustrating and I'm failing at this parenting thing." I said, sniffling back the tears and looking down.

"You are not failing. You're doing everything you're supposed to. She's a baby, she's going to cry a lot until she gets into a routine, it's all new and scary for her too. Hell, Hunter wouldn't stop crying for the first 3 days and I thought I was going to go crazy."

"Really? You didn't tell me that…" I said. Hunter seemed like the most relaxed baby ever. He barely cries whenever I see him, except when Aspen has to stop feeding him because he'll eat for an hour if you let him. "It might have been helpful to know." I chuckled a little bit.

"Well, I didn't know Charlie would do the same thing. Every baby is different," she said, reaching out and grabbing my hand. "Charlie needs her mommy. You're her lifeline. Stop worrying about all the things you're doing wrong and focus on what you're doing right. Babies sense these things. If your mind isn't totally with her, she's going to notice." she explained.

I let out a sigh, "Yeah, that's true," I said, wiping some of the stray tears. "I just love her so much, I hate hearing her cry. Plus, when she cries, my milk starts leaking and it's gross."

"Yeah, that happens. It happens when any baby cries for me actually." Aspen laughed.

"Believe me, I know. My milk was leaking when I was helping with Hunter, it was so annoying." I groaned at the thought of it.

"Nursing pads are a lifesaver." she laughed.

I laughed and nodded in agreement. "You're tellin' me," I said, just as Charlie started crying. I let out a small sigh.

"You go in there and give her all the love you can. She loves you."

"I know," I said, standing up. "Thanks Ass." I smiled.

"Anytime, Crusty. If you need me, I'll be here watching dark chocolate thunder kick some ass," she said, licking her lips and turning the TV on. I rolled my eyes, she was clearly talking about Derek Morgan from Criminal Minds. Her and that show. It's like me and Thor, or Loki rather.

I walked upstairs and opened the door to the nursery, my heart dropping when I heard Charlie wailing from her crib. I took her out and held her in my arms.

"Shhh, shhh, it's okay Charlie. It's okay baby," I said, rubbing her back and bouncing her softly to help her calm down. She calmed down a little bit but was still crying so I sat down on the rocking chair and cradled her in my arms and looked down at her. "Now, I'm going to be honest with you and tell you I have no idea what I'm doing. But I do know one thing and that's that I love you, and I'm always going to love you no matter what and I'm going to do anything I can to make you happy because you deserve all the happiness in the world, my sweet angel." I said, my voice turning into a whisper by the end because her crying stopped and her eyes were getting heavy. I smiled at her and kissed her forehead. She's honestly the best thing that's ever happened to me and Aspen's right, I'm going to make mistakes. But she's going to love me regardless and I'm going to love her and that's all that matters.


	17. Chapter 17

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 17**

**Summary:**

After talking with Aspen and Owen, Alise is finally more confident in her parenting skills and is connecting with Charlie more than ever. Alise is completely alone with Charlie for the first time because everyone is out of the house and it's a bonding experience for her. A couple of weeks later, the settlement money comes in, which causes Alise and Owen to take a look further into the future and what they'll both be doing by then.

**Authors Note: **Adult themes ahead, so be warned. Also, sorry for taking so long to update! I've run into some writer's block and was taking a break of writing this story all-together instead of forcing something out. I have these chapters pre-written, but I'm still having some writer's block, unfortunately, so it may take longer than 5-7 days to post the next part, sorry about that and I hope you understand!

* * *

After Aspen's pep talk, I became more confident when caring for Charlie. I think she could tell because she was starting to relax more with me and instead of crying when I picked her up, she'd start cooing and nuzzle into me as she did with Owen.

Over the next few weeks, she reached 2 months old and we were getting into a regular routine. I was so excited every time she was a month older (then again, I get excited when she's a week older) and I was totally that mom who dressed her up in her cutest little outfit and came up with some creative way to take a picture with a cute sign that said the month on it.

I usually sent it to Aspen, Lance, Lucy, Lachlan, my parents, Owen and Abigail (who, of course, showed it to Henry and Arlo) and I posted it on Instagram and Facebook (Charlie has literally been the only reason I've used my Facebook - before her, I hadn't used it for years).

In a few days, Owen had to go back to San Diego to finish filling out paperwork and Lowery was going with him because our lawyer said he could get some settlement money as well. It wasn't as much as Owen and I were getting, but anything would help him. He didn't have much of a savings before the incident and we literally lost everything (for the most part) and we couldn't go back to our places to get our stuff. We had to get new clothes, items, and housing situations (although ours was easier than others I'm guessing - thanks to my amazing parents).

Them going away wasn't the best timing either because my mom and Carl had to go to Denver to help his mom because she was getting surgery on her ACL, so I was going to be completely alone with Charlie for the first time.

I was a little anxious, to be honest. Everyone has been so helpful with her and I know I do get a lot of help. I have Owen, my parents, and Lowery to help me out when they can (although I rarely asked them for help because I didn't want to seem like a burden, that and Lowery doesn't really know what he's doing. He's a good uncle and will play with her, but ask him to change a diaper and he's like "What? But… how?" and I gave up after that). I get a heck of a lot more help then most moms. Aspen does it alone for the most part because she doesn't have family around constantly like I do.

It's not like anyone has been breathing down my neck trying to help and they keep their distance for the most part (especially my mom, who's not as overbearing as I thought she would be, she has Carl to keep herself in check here and there though). But, I don't have to cook dinner every night or do errands, the only thing I really focus on is Charlie. Owen does most of the laundry and everything else.

I know I worry way too much in general about a lot of things and I know that I'll get through a couple of days without anyone. Plus, Aspen and Lance are just 10 minutes away, should I need something, which I'm sure I wouldn't. It was just nice to know they were there.

I also know I'll have to get used to this, especially when Owen and I get our own house. He'll be at work and it's just going to be Charlie and me for the most part and I'll have to do more errands and cook dinner some of the time (even though Owen has insisted he won't make me do everything when we move out). Well, those are the plans for now anyway.

I'd like to go back to work sooner rather than later and I mean working in my field as a vet. I miss working with animals, but for right now, I know I'm meant to be with Charlie.

The next couple of days with Charlie were amazing. I felt like I truly bonded with her, even more, when there was no one else around. Sure, I had to cook all of my meals (which really isn't a big deal, just a little harder when you've got a baby on the hip or crying in the other room), the nights were hard because I had to do double-duty because Owen wasn't there to help me with her and I barely got any sleep, but thankfully she wasn't going through a wonder week or anything like that and she was good for the most part. She slept really well during the day, so I got my nap time in too.

I noticed that she's also a little calmer when there were fewer people around. There's always some sort of shuffling around, especially in the morning. She gets up at 7am and we go downstairs to play in the living area and people are always walking in and out, getting ready for the day, talking to us - or Charlie rather than me because who cares about Mama when there's a baby in the room. I don't blame them though, she's so damn cute.

So needless to say, mornings were more relaxing for us with just the two of us. Of course, we had the animals with us too though. Minnie was really good with her and Dot was a little rambunctious, so I kept them in the sunroom when Charlie was downstairs. Snow was pretty good too. Sometimes she was obnoxious, like when Charlie was crying, Snow would say 'Stop it, stop it' over and over again, so I had a crying baby and an annoying bird at the same time. Other than that, she's good.

Loki hangs around us now and will even try to play with some of Charlie's toys with her, sliding them over to her to see if she'd do anything. In the beginning, he was a little iffy about her and she was of him too, but now they're attached to each other. Sometimes Charlie will cry if he goes in the other room and I'll have to distract her. Loki will also meow and scratch at her door when I put her down for a nap. Sometimes he'll sneak in there without me noticing and I'll find Loki sleeping in her crib with her, which is beyond adorable. He'll even cuddle with her. He's so good with her.

I could tell she missed Owen though. She had some sense of time because around 5:30 or 6, she was looking at the door and was just more fussy, especially when going to bed. Thankfully, we facetimed him before her bedtime and hearing his voice really helped her. She was confused that he wasn't actually here but was still hearing his voice. She took the phone away from me and tried to put it in her mouth, then cried when I pulled it away, so that didn't last long.

Owen insisted on bringing two books with him to read to her each night, even if it was just over facetime. Every night before her bedtime, Owen would read her a book in the living room before I took her in the nursery to feed her and read another book to her until she got tired (usually she fell asleep in my arms). It was all so adorable. He's perfect. They both are.

The day before Owen and Lowery came home, Aspen and I went shopping with Hunter and Charlie. They were both on similar schedules, so we planned it for when they'd be asleep so that we could actually get some shopping done without having an upset baby on our hands (or two upset babies because when one cries, the other follows).

We got clothes for them, I picked out some cute dinosaur clothes for Hunter and Aspen also picked out dinosaur clothes for Charlie, which I wasn't sure how Owen would react, but it was a pink Apatosaurus and it was adorable, so who really cares.

I also came across a kids book named "Owen the Bear" which was totally adorable. It had a picture of a stuffed bear in overalls and a flannel sitting in a chair with a cabin in the background. If Owen were a bear, this would literally be him. Aspen agreed too. Of course, I had to get it. It was too adorable not to. With the book, there was also stuffed animal of Owen the Bear and when I showed Charlie, she grabbed it immediately and looked at it with wide-eyes while inspecting it. I knew I had to get that too.

Owen and Lowery got home late the next night after Charlie and I were already asleep and my parents got home the next day mid-day. Carl's brother was going to help with his mom's recovery efforts because he lives closer, plus the store in Snowmass is just a month and a half away from opening, so the pressure is on for them.

The week after that went by pretty quickly and the routine with Charlie has been the same. I wish I could say more exciting things happened, but when you have a baby, staying home and playing with them, feeding them and getting them to nap is basically all you do.

Although, we do go out on walks around the neighborhood daily when the weather is nice. Every day is exciting when you're a mom though, you get to teach your baby new things and watch their reactions to things. Plus, watching her grow every day is so amazing and I love it so much. I'm so lucky I'm able to be with her so much.

A couple of weeks later, it was around noon when I was about to get Charlie out of bed from her nap when I got a notification from my bank, telling me that the money from the settlement has been deposited. I checked our statement and there it was - 2-freaking-million dollars. I couldn't believe it. It actually happened. We're millionaires.

Owen had the day off and was out running errands, so I was going to tell him when he got home, which should be any minute now. In the meantime, I got Charlie out of bed and went back downstairs into the living room and started feeding her. Owen came home minutes later, bringing groceries into the kitchen.

"Hey baby," he said as he walked over, kissed my cheek and then kissed Charlie's head.

"Hey, how were the errands?"

"Boring as hell, but what else is new," he shrugged, sitting down on the couch next to me with a sigh, he looked tired. And sweaty. It was hot out today and the sun was shining bright without a cloud in the sky.

"Actually, we just got the money from the settlement. I mean, holy shit, Owen, we're millionaires. I never thought I'd say that." I said, still in shock from it.

"Why? Because I'm just an ex-raptor trainer that's only good as a handyman and not a world-renowned doctor like Hiscock." he said sarcastically.

"First of all, I highly doubt he'd be 'world-renowned' because he's a dumbass and second of all, just the thought of him makes me wanna vomit." I said, pulling a face.

Owen chuckled, "Guess that's a good thing to hear."

"That aside… if I were actually a vet right now, I'd be the one raking in the dough, taking the bacon home, putting the bread on the table…" I said with a smirk.

"You got all of those sayings completely wrong, but I get the point. I'm a failure, I get it," he said. I could hear the hint of sarcasm in his voice, but his face said otherwise.

"No, Owen! That's not what I'm saying at all! You're not a failure, don't you ever say that…" I said, reaching out to grab his hand. "That's just your dad talking."

Owen sighed, "Yeah." he nodded.

"Things can be different now that we have this money. We can both get the jobs we've always wanted… once we get a house and everything with Charlie is all settled that is." I said.

He just nodded his head and mumbled: "Yeah."

"You don't seem excited about this…" I said. It seemed like he was shutting it down and I didn't know why.

"No, I am… I just… I don't know what I want to do," his face fell as he sighed. "What if I am really only good for handy work?" he asked.

"Owen, that's not-" I started to say, getting cut off when Charlie bit down on me and I winced. "Shit, Charlie, my nipple is sensitive enough because you're sucking on it, I don't need you to be biting it too," I laughed, adjusting her head. "Pretty soon you're gonna have teeth and actually bite my nipple off. That's when you're switching to a bottle, little one," I said, switching her so that she could eat from my other breast. Sometimes she'll bite me to tell me that I need to switch, so I figured that's what that was. I smiled down at her, lightly rubbing her cheek with my thumb, then I looked back at Owen. "That's not the only thing you're good for. You ran an entire program for the girls - you trained fucking Velociraptors for god sake. One of which just so happened to save the day at Jurassic World. If it weren't for you and that research, that wouldn't have happened. God knows what the hell would have happened. You put that on your resume, you can get any job you want."

Owen nodded, "We'll figure it out soon." he said, seeming to take in all that I said. I smiled at him and nodded, looking back down at Charlie. "You must want to get back to work as soon as you can…"

"Yeah, I've been itching to go back to work with animals again…" I said, right as Charlie started to cough and cry. "Oh man, looks like someone's tummy is full!" I said, pulling her away from my chest and covering myself before taking a burp cloth that I left on the couch next to me. I put it on my shoulder as I patted her back. Owen turned on the TV and we watched as I burped her. Sometimes it could take a good 20 minutes before she burps.

Instead of burping, she farted really loud and I chuckled while Owen burst into laughter. "Wrong end, silly girl!" I laughed.

"That's my daughter!" Owen said, really proud.

I laughed, "Seriously is." I said, rolling my eyes before changing Charlie's position to see if that would help her burp. I put her so she was straddling my leg, facing away from me, holding the front of her body with one hand and I continued to pat her back with the other until she finally let out a loud burp.

"Nice one Charlie!" Owen chuckled.

I laughed, rubbing her back as I waited a few seconds to see if any spit up was coming. When it didn't, I turned her around to pull her into my chest. "I'm surprised she didn't spit up-" I started to say right before she did, all over my shirt. "Fucking a-" I said, looking at Owen, who I could tell was forcing back a laugh. "Shut up and get me a towel, you dick!"

"Charlie's gonna have a potty mouth and it'll be all your fault!" he called as he walked into the other room.

I rolled my eyes, holding Charlie out at arm's length, waiting for him to come back. "I'll just teach her to call you a dick and Lowery a dickhead, any other word is off limits. Right, Charlie? Daddy's such a dick, isn't he?" I asked, talking in a baby voice at the end. She just smiled and cooed as Owen handed me the towel and I started wiping her up. "Aw, Charlie, your cute little outfit is all ruined, baby girl."

"Want me to change her?" Owen asked. I nodded and handed Charlie to him.

"Yeah, thanks," I said, getting up and following him upstairs to change my shirt. "Oh, and that fart wasn't just a fart, so good luck with that!" I called before walking into our room.

"Oh god, no, Charlie!" Owen exclaimed from the nursery. I just laughed and shook my head. Paybacks a bitch, Owen.

x x x

A few nights later, I just finished getting Charlie to bed after feeding her and reading her a book. She fell asleep pretty quickly today because the second Owen gets home around 5:30 or 6, he's playing with her and keeping her awake, which is good for when I put her down around 8.

One thing that makes me sad is thinking that 5 days a week, Owen only gets to see Charlie for a couple of hours before she goes to bed. Sure, he gets 2 full days with her when he's not working, but I feel like I get all of this time with her and he doesn't. I felt like it didn't have to be that way anymore, so I mentioned it as I was getting into bed that night.

"Can I talk to you about something?" I asked, setting the baby monitor on the nightstand before getting into bed. Owen hummed as he flipped the page in his book. "I know you still have to help at the store, but don't you wish you could see Charlie more every day instead of just playing with her for a couple of hours before she has to go to bed?" I asked.

Owen looked over at me, breaking his attention from the book. "I mean, yeah, of course, I wanna spend more time with her, but like you said, they need help with the store. It's opening in a few weeks."

"I know, but I was thinking that maybe you don't have to work 10 hours a day anymore. We have more money now. My mom hasn't mentioned it, but I wanted to talk to her about us paying for rent. It's only fair. It's silly for us to just be paying for groceries while still getting paid at our jobs. We need to chip in more, now that we can." I explained.

Owen nodded, "I agree, but don't ask about me working less. I'll talk to Carl." he said. I nodded and smiled, happy we came to a conclusion about this.

"So how is the store going, anyway? I've been so wrapped up with Charlie, I've barely spoken to Carl or my mom about it."

"It's goin' good. Furnishings are all in, we're just workin' on stocking stuff now. There's been so much shipment. I don't ever wanna look at another flannel again." he chuckled.

I laughed, "Well, at least it's summer so you can go back to your regular wardrobe… except maybe not those boardshorts - unless if we're going to the lake or pool." I laughed, thinking about how weird he'd look with them on in this mountain state.

"Oh baby, it's boardshort season. They're comin' out, whether you like it or not." he teased with a smirk.

"Oh, god no!" I said, shaking my head and sinking back into the pillows.

"You love them, don't lie." he smirked.

"Your butt does look pretty good in them…" I trailed off, biting my lip as I thought about it. "Wanna show me them cheeks?" I smirked.

"There's a full moon out tonight, honey!" he said, getting out of bed and taking his boxers off.

I shook my head, "You're an idiot, Owen. You ruined the mood." I groaned.

"I'm about to put you back in the mood, baby," he said, getting into bed next to me and kissing my neck.

I bit my lip and slapped his ass, laughing after he let out a groan and nipped at my skin. I bit my lip again and tilted my head back to give him more access. His lips moved to my collarbone, slipping the thin strap to my pajama top down before nipping at the skin again. I moaned, especially when his hand started to palm my breast. Yup, moods back. In full force.

I ran my fingers through his hair and went to pull him up for a kiss when crying came from the monitor and we both groaned. I leaned my head back against the headboard. "Well, there's the mood killer." I said, about to get off the bed, but Owen stopped me.

"I got it baby," he said, getting up and pulling his boxers on.

"Fine, but you're mine when you come back." I warned, slapping his ass as he passed me on his way to the door.

"You better be ready for me baby," he said before walking out. I bit my lip, smirking at the idea of it. I let out a loud yawn and got comfortable while I waited. My eyes started to get heavy and I realized that I'm probably not going to be awake by the time he gets back.

x x x

Since Owen and I talked about how much I missed animals, it really got me thinking. I really do miss animals and sure, I've got them at the house, but I miss working with animals. I've been out of the game too long and since I can't get a full-time job working with them, I looked up some other options that I could have working with animals. I'd just have to get the go-ahead from Owen.

He talked to Carl about switching up his hours and Carl couldn't have been more accommodating. He said it was a great idea and that they could manage without him, so that meant Owen was home a bit more than before, so my idea could actually work if Owen agreed with me.

He got home at 3 and now it was nearly 4:30 and I had just finished putting Charlie down for a nap. I came downstairs to find Owen watching TV and I figured it was the perfect time to talk to him, no one else was around to distract us and he was watching a rerun of How I Met Your Mother that I know he's seen before.

I sat next to him and he immediately wrapped his arm around my shoulders and pulled me close to him. I was a little nervous to talk to him about it, but I finally worked up the courage. "So, I've been thinking…"

"Oh no," he said.

I shot him a glare, "Owen!"

"I'm just kidding," he laughed. "What's on your mind baby?"

"Since we were talking about how much I miss working with animals a few days ago, I've been thinking of ways I could start to do that. I found out that the local shelter is looking for people part time to come in and help with the animals a few days a week, a few hours at a time and I'd really like to do that if you're okay with it?"

"Of course, I'm okay with it. I can only imagine how hard it is for you not to be working with animals for so long after working with them every day for such a long time." he said, rubbing my shoulder.

I smiled, "Thank you for being so understanding…" I said, not being able to help the sigh of relief that came next.

"Wait, were you scared to ask me?" he asked, raising his brows at me.

"Not so much scared, but a little nervous…"

"Alise, there's no need to be nervous to talk to me. You let me go to the gym and see my friends all the time, you need to get out more." he said.

"I really do," I laughed, thinking about it. "At least it's nice out so I can take Charlie for walks, but apart from that I'm basically inside all the time."

"Exactly why you should go out tonight with Aspen," he offered.

"You do know Aspen has a baby to take care of too right?" I said, my brows raised.

"Obviously, I know that. I already texted Lance, I was gonna go over and bring Charlie," he said simply.

"Aww you made a play date for them, that's so cute! Does that mean they're sleeping in the same crib?" I teased.

"Yeah, but if Hunter gets handsy, we're gonna have that talk sooner than expected." he said seriously.

I laughed and rolled my eyes. "As long as you don't threaten a 3 and a half month old, that's fine with me."

Owen thought, "I was plannin' on usin' the clicker. Every time he gets close to her click-click-click. He won't go anywhere near her."

I groaned, "What have I told you about training babies like animals, you dick!" I said, smacking him with a pillow.

Owen put his arm up in defense and laughed. "Alright, alright, I'll talk to him in his native baby language and tell him to keep his hands to himself."

"'Native baby language'? And what does that sound like?" I asked, my brows raised. That's when Owen started babbling like a baby, similar to how Hunter does and Charlie is beginning to do now too. I laughed as he moved to start tickling me. "Stop!" I exclaimed, already out of breath from laughing.

"Never!" he said, moving so that he was now on top of me, pinning me down and still tickling me.

"Owen, if you don't stop right now I'm gonna pee!" I exclaimed. His eyes widened and he got off of me quickly. "Works like a charm." I said under my breath.

"What did you just say?" he asked, raising his brows.

"I said 'thank you honey'," I smiled at him. He gave me a skeptical look, squinting his eyes at me. "I love you." I said, kissing his cheek before standing up.

"I love you too," he said, giving in. "Hey, can you get me a beer?" he then asked, but I was already heading for the stairs.

"No, I'm going upstairs. You can get it yourself." I told him.

"Aren't you supposed to be a loving wife who does anything to make her husband happy?" he asked with a hint of sarcasm in his voice.

I raised my brows, "We're not in the 20th century, Owen. Get your own damn beer."

"Fine." he said, getting up off the couch.

"You're so hot when you're angry," I smirked at him. Owen just rolled his eyes and headed for the kitchen. "You got a nice butt, too! Why don't you forget the beer and go to the bedroom before Charlie wakes up?" I called after him, biting my lip as I waited for a response. I then heard footsteps walking towards me rather quickly.

"How much time do we have?" he asked seriously.

"Anywhere from 20 to 40 minutes."

"Let's hope it's 40, cause I've got a few things I wanna try," Owen said and in one swift motion, he scooped me up and headed for the stairs.

"Ooo, I love the sound of that!" I said, grabbing onto the back of his neck as I felt heat rush between my legs. This was finally going to happen. This was a couple of weeks in the making. As we passed the nursery and Owen opened the door to the bedroom, I heard the sound of Charlie wailing. "As if on cue." I groaned as Owen sighed and put me down. "I got her…" I said, walking towards the nursery.

I'm starting to see why some parents say their sex life goes out the window when you have a baby… I'm not about to let that happen to Owen and me, no matter how much Charlie interrupts us.


	18. Chapter 18

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 18**

**Summary:**

Alise talks to her mom about chipping in more money-wise, since they have more of it now and her mom tells her something she didn't expect to hear. Alise is starting to realize that there are many things that change having a baby and one of those things being her and Owen's sex life. She refuses to become those parents that only have sex once a week - if that. Also, Lowery is making big plans for his future and staying in Colorado isn't part of the plan.

*Slight sexual content, be warned

* * *

The next day, my mom and I went out to lunch around noon because we had the day off. The cafe was quiet and there was hardly anyone in here. It's nice to get out of the house and my mom and I haven't spent much quality time with each other recently. I also figured this would be the perfect time to talk to her about Owen and I chipping in for rent. Charlie was also with us, but she was sound asleep in her car seat and would hopefully be sleeping until we got home at least.

"So, I actually wanted to talk to you about something…" I said. I was about halfway through my salad and we've been talking about memories from Lowery and mine's childhood (mostly embarrassing ones of Lowery) and because of that, I momentarily forgot what I was even going to talk about. I remembered and figured it'd be best just to say something straight up.

"Sure, what's on your mind?" she asked, taking a bite of her sandwich.

"Well, Owen and I have been thinking and since we've gotten this settlement money, I feel like it's only fair if we chip in more money-wise. I mean, we don't even pay for rent, just groceries here and there and I know I work at the shop sometimes, or at least I did before Charlie, and Owen also helps you guys, but you still pay us for that regardless… I just feel like we should be giving you more. You've given us so much and thank you for that, I want to repay you somehow…" I said, turning my salad with the fork as I spoke, I was a little nervous, to be honest. Heck, when am I not nervous to talk to someone? I need to work on that.

"Honey, don't worry about the money. Just you being here with Charlie and Owen bring Carl and I joy. You're great company. Same with your brother. I could never ask you for money." she said simply.

I sighed, I kind of saw this coming. "Yeah, but we owe you. You saved us from being on our asses… paying a few hundred a month is the least we could do-"

"Alise, it's fine, really," she said. I raised my brows at her because of how quickly she said that and I also wanted to know why. My look must have said it all because she continued on, "Really, it is... Carl actually had a business that he sold for nearly five million dollars before we met. He saved most of it and we've put it into the new shops. We're actually very well off." she said simply.

"So you're millionaires?" I asked, shock written all over my face.

"You could say that." my mom shrugged with a shy smile.

"Damn, I can't help but think to when I was a kid and you could barely afford school supplies for us and you couldn't buy anything for yourself because you always put us first…" I said, thinking about it. "You know, I was so confused as to why you'd do that, but I completely understand now, having Charlie and all…"

"Becoming a mother puts a lot of things into perspective and makes you understand all of the things your parents did, or in your case, what your mother did for you and your brother." she said, taking a sip of her water.

"You had to work 2 jobs just to feed us while dad just smoked pot and played with cars all day." I scoffed. That man really put my mother through hell. Then again, he put Lowery and I through it too.

"You're tellin' me," my mom laughed. "That just means I've paid my dues."

I nodded, agreeing with her and I thought more about it. "But then that makes me wonder if I've paid mine… I mean, the settlement is so much money…" I trailed off. I've been thinking about this for a while. Like, why me? Why do I deserve all of this?

"You went through hell to get it," my mom said firmly, pulling me out of my thoughts. "After what you and Owen went through, you deserve it, no - you earned it. It's not a handout. Just think about how hard you had to work when you were a kid up until now. I had my jobs and your father was off fucking around and you were the one that had to take care of Lowery while keeping a 4.0 to get into vet school and you managed to keep that GPA up all through it. You deserve it honey." she said, reaching out to squeeze my hand comfortingly.

I nodded. "I suppose you're right."

"A mother is always right." my mom said, taking a sip of her iced tea.

I raised my brows. "So that technically means I'm always right then, huh?" I smirked.

She shook her head, "Now you're using my words against me."

"You said it, not me!" I laughed, taking a bite of my salad. She just laughed and shook her head, taking the last bite of her sandwich. I couldn't help but smile at her. "Thanks mom, for everything."

"You're welcome baby," she said, patting my hand. "Also, do you mind if I take Charlie out for her walk this afternoon? I feel like it hasn't just been the two of us in a while…"

"Of course, mom. Take her for as long as you want! She loves her Nana." I smiled.

"I'll take her to the store. Show her off to all of the customers." she smiled at the thought. My mom loves to show her off to everyone. Even random people on the street. She'll stop them and be like 'this is my granddaughter, isn't she just adorable?'. I mean, it's totally true. Charlie is adorable. Owen and I made a pretty cute baby.

"Sounds good to me. It'll give me some time to myself." I said and honestly, that would be nice. As much as I love my time with Charlie - and I really love it, some me time would be amazing.

"What are you going to do?"

"Oh, there's so many options… go to the gym, do a deep clean of my room and the nursery, take a nap… yeah, I'll probably just end up sleeping the whole time, let's be real." I sighed and we both laughed.

"Well, an uninterrupted nap is the best thing when you're a mother." she said. I knew she completely understood where I was coming from. She's been through it.

I chuckled. "Hell yeah it is. That and sex. Both of which I haven't been getting." I said honestly. I was surprised I actually mentioned this to my mom, but I guess that's how you know it's been way too long.

"Hmm…" my mom thought. "Well, how about you let her stay with us tonight in the Pack N' Play? You and Owen can have some time to get it on-"

"Oh god, you did not just use the term "get it on"." I said, shaking my head, completely regretting saying anything in the first place.

"What? Isn't that the term you kids are using these days? Or is it 'doing the dirty' or 'slam the ham' or any of those other weird euphemisms…"

"Oh god, mom." I shook my head, sinking in my chair, completely embarrassed. I looked around and didn't see anyone looking over at us and I am so glad no heard that.

"Actually, this is random, but I could have sworn I heard Snow call Owen "sweet cheeks" this morning, was that your doing?" she asked with her brows raised.

My eyes widened. "I have no idea what you're talking about," I said, pushing my lips together. I didn't intentionally make Snow say that, but she's like a toddler, she picks everything up.

"Whatever you say, honey, you two just enjoy your time alone tonight," she said with a wink.

"Oh god!" I said, shaking my head. "Yeah, we'll see. The mood might be ruined." I said, taking one last sip of my water before standing up.

"Oh, just watch Thor and you'll be good to go," she said nonchalantly with a simple shrug as I grabbed the car seat and we walked towards the door.

"Oh god, mom, you are way too much for me right now! I totally need a drink." I sighed.

"Well, you can do that and then have se-"

"Don't even finish that sentence mom, I swear to god!" I exclaimed, laughing as we walked towards the car. My mom just laughed, clearly amused with herself. I shook my head and got Charlie into the car. Sure, my mom might have ruined the mood if I were to have sex now, but watching Thor and having a glass of wine sounded like a pretty good idea… I might actually try that.

x x x

Later that night, I got Charlie all ready for bed with the same routine as we normally had, except I put her in my parents' room in the Pack N' Play. It was the first time she was sleeping in it, so I knew it'd be a little more difficult to get her to sleep. She gave me a little bit of trouble, waking up 15 minutes later and crying, so I went in and rocked her to sleep, which took a good 15 minutes before she was finally out. My parents kept their distance until she fell asleep and then they went to bed around 9.

So that meant Owen and I were free from parental duties for the rest of the night. It felt weird, like something was missing because I'm so used to worrying about her and having her monitor out here with me in case she needed me.

I took my moms advice and we watched Thor: Ragnarok (after much convincing on my part - Owen's pretty much done with Thor movies at this point). Owen brought home a bottle of tequila that night, so it was game on. We were in the den because I didn't want to have to worry about anyone walking by to the kitchen or risking the movie being too loud and waking Charlie up. Or, you know, in case anything else happens that requires us to be alone - if you know what I mean.

It was the first time I've drank tequila since before I found out I got pregnant. Sure, I've had a beer here and there in the past month, making sure I pump and wait a few hours before feeding Charlie, of course. But I had like 5 bottles made for her for tonight and most of tomorrow, so I didn't need to worry about feeding her after tonight.

We were in the middle of watching the movie and I was sitting next to Owen on the couch and his hand was resting lazily on my thigh. I poured more tequila into my glass and set the bottle on the coffee table.

"God… Loki is so fucking hot," I said. I was pretty tipsy, to say the least, and I had absolutely no filter. "It's like his eyes are screaming at me," I said, taking a sip from my glass, not even bothered by the burning in my throat at this point.

"Saying what?" Owen asked, raising his brows at me, he seemed genuinely concerned.

"That he's going to fucking rail me into next week." I said honestly, taking another sip. Owen nearly spit out his drink upon hearing that.

"Well, shit, Alise!" he exclaimed.

I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my lips as I took another sip. "What?" I asked innocently, also not able to control the laugh that escaped.

"Don't act all innocent," he said, his face getting red. I couldn't tell if he was getting angry or if he was about to laugh. "That's-" he hiccuped. "Fucked up and you know it."

"How is it fucked up? I just made a comment about Loki's eyes and what I want him to do to me." I said, smirking.

"So now you _want _him to do that to you?"

"Yeah, I mean, I never hid the fact that I wanna fuck Loki, Owen." I laughed. Obviously, I'd much rather Owen do that to me but I honestly just wanted to see his reaction. I like to push people's buttons, especially when I'm drunk.

Owen looked at me and I couldn't gauge his reaction, he just kind of stared me down. "Well baby, if that's how he makes you feel…" he said, shaking his head. I opened my mouth to say something, but I watched him as he shot back the rest of the tequila that was in his glass and let out a groan, setting it on the coffee table. "I'm gonna have to step up my game. How about I rail you into the next month? How about I make it so that you can't walk tomorrow? I'll rail you so hard, that baby, I'll have to cover your mouth so no one will hear your screams." he said completely seriously, staring me down. His eyes darkened and that meant it was game on.

I bit my lip as I felt a huge rush of heat between my legs and my face was no-doubt flushed. Holy shit, that was fucking hot as hell. "Game on." I smirked, flicking my brow at him before shooting my head back and finishing the last of the tequila in my glass before putting it on the coffee table.

Owen grabbed the back of my neck and pulled my face to his, landing a wet and sloppy kiss on my lips. I quickly got on top of him, straddling his waist as I grabbed onto the back of his neck and ran my fingers through his hair.

His hands quickly moved to my waist and he pulled away from my lips, only to kiss my collar bone. I moaned, tilting my head back as his hands gripped my waist even tighter. I bit my lip and let my body relax onto his as I rocked my hips against him. He let out a guttural moan that vibrated against my neck. I bit my lip, pulling back on his hair so he was looking up at me. I leaned down and kissed him again, this time the kiss was a little less wet and sloppy and more with passion.

We pulled away only for a second when we pulled our shirts off and then our lips were right back on each other. Feeling his tongue swirling against mine and the way his hands hugged every curve of my body felt amazing. I was almost expecting to hear crying coming from the other room, but that quickly left my mind when he unhooked my bra and palmed my breasts in his hands.

I moaned against his lips, but I wanted to feel more of him - I needed to feel more of him. I reached down and unzipped his jeans, breaking the kiss so he could help me take them off. I stood up and quickly removed mine, along with my underwear while he took off his boxers. Right after that, I was back on top of him, kissing him with just as much passion as before.

"God, I love you so much," Owen whispered against my lips.

"Why do you have to bring your emotions into it? Just fuck me and shut up!" I said. I was so wrapped up in the moment that I didn't even realize what I was saying until I was finished.

He looked up at me in shock, but then did what I asked of him anyway. It felt so damn good and this was a long time coming.

x x x

The next morning I woke up and the first thing I heard was Owen's heartbeat because my head was on his bare chest. I felt his fingertips tracing circles on my bare shoulder.

"Morning babe." I smiled

"Morning baby." he said.

"Last night was…" I started to say as I remembered what happened last night. Having sex in the den and then moving upstairs for another couple of rounds… it was amazing. I'd be lying if I said the thought of it didn't turn me on even more.

"Amazing..." he finished my sentence with a smile.

I nodded. "Well, you did pretty good for being out of the game for a couple of weeks." I said with a smirk.

"Me? My game never left. I was about to say the same thing about you." he said.

I rolled my eyes, propping my head up on my hand that was propped up by my elbow. "Well, I rocked your world 3 times last night, so you better be thanking me."

"4 times." he corrected me as he ran his fingers through my hair. I raised my brows. "You must have lost count because I was just so damn good." he said with a smirk.

"Whatever you wanna tell yourself babe." I said, rolling my eyes and shaking my head. Clearly, he was that good. I just wasn't going to let him know that. It'll just go to his head… or his dick because sometimes he thinks with his dick. All men do from time to time.

"You know I told you I loved you last night and you told me to shut up and fuck you..." he mentioned, twirling my hair around his finger.

I laughed as I remembered what happened. "Hey, I was just lookin' to bang and you got all emotional on me."

"Bang?" he laughed. "Who the hell says 'bang' anymore?"

I rolled my eyes and scoffed. "That's coming from someone who once said "I wanna bone you"."

"Crap, I was hoping you'd forget about that." he said, his face falling.

"And then you showed me a dinosaur bone you kept in your nightstand." I laughed, thinking about it.

"Dammit, I wish you forgot that part…" he said, shaking his head and putting his head in his hands as if he were embarrassed. He kind of should be, it was lame. But of course, I fell for it.

"I remember everything, Owen," I said, raising my brows, then I thought. "And why the hell did you have a dinosaur bone in your nightstand?" I asked. It was totally a valid question and I don't know why I didn't question it back when he showed me.

"I have my reasons." he shrugged with a smirk as he played with the pendant on the heart necklace he gave me recently. I just rolled my eyes as we both looked at the time on the nightstand. "We've got 20 minutes before we have to be downstairs…" he trailed off. I looked at him. "So, wanna bone?" he smirked.

I rolled my eyes, not able to hold back a laugh. "You shouldn't have to ask." I said, leaning in to kiss him. Round 5 it is.

x x x

A few weeks later, Charlie was almost 4 months old - in 2 and a half weeks she will be - and she was doing amazing, growing and learning at a good rate according to the doctors. She started rolling over on her sides from when she was laying on her back and she's only a couple of months away from crawling. Time flies by so fast when you have a baby. It's like one day she was just a newborn and the next she's already close to crawling.

Owen and I finally started to find a balance between everything and we weren't having sex just once a week, sometimes it was 4 or 5 times a week, so that's a plus. We'd try to get it in as much as possible, even if we were exhausted and probably should have been sleeping instead. But it worked and we were happy and that's all that matters.

We talked about the future more too, like we decided that we want to move into our own house by the time Charlie is 6 or 7 months old, so a few more months. I still haven't mentioned it to my parents, but Aspen was on the hunt for us now. I don't really know how to break it to my mom, but Owen and I just feel like it's time to move out and be on our own. It's a lot to have so many people around when I'm with Charlie and sometimes it can be overwhelming with a baby.

I also didn't know how to tell Lowery either. He's my little brother, I don't want to leave him, but he's also an adult and can take care of himself. He has for so many years and I have to remember that. God, I just love my family so much, but I have to focus on my own growing family with Owen.

Although I was worried about Lowery, I rationalized that he was an adult and can totally take care of himself. It's just the big sister in me that's being protective. I didn't have anything to worry about with him, especially with the news he gave me one morning.

It was around 9am and I was feeding Charlie when Lowery came into the living room.

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" he said, shielding his eyes as if he hasn't seen this before.

"It's just a boob, get over it." I laughed.

"I know, but it's weird when it's your sister's boob..." he said, walking fulling into the living room.

"Just think, I'm giving your niece all the food and nutrients she needs… through my nipple." I said the last part with a smirk.

Sometimes, when I know there's a lot of people around, I'll put a cover over myself, which is mostly for Carl's benefit. I don't care if Lowery sees and my mom couldn't care less. She knows it's natural. Charlie hates when I wear the cover though, so I try my best not to use it.

"Yeah, exactly what I want to think about." he rolled his eyes, sitting on the lazy boy to my left.

I laughed. "So what's up?" I asked. Normally, he'd be at work, but he had a dentist appointment so was going in after that, which he told me last night. I could tell that he wanted to talk because he actually sat down with me. It must be important too because he doesn't care that I'm breastfeeding.

"So I've actually been looking for apartments… seriously this time…" he said, seeming nervous to talk to me. I have no idea why it's not like I'll bite his head off or anything.

"So you're going to leave your little baby niece?" I asked, giving him an over-dramatic sad face. I was just saying it to lighten the mood, not to make him feel worse.

"Alise, don't be like that!"

"I'm kidding," I laughed. "I think that's great, Low. Where are you looking at?"

"San Francisco…"

"What?!" I exclaimed, looking up at him. Now that was a shocker, I know why he was so nervous to tell me now. I realized I startled Charlie a little and rubbed her head so she didn't start crying.

"Well, I got an interview with a really great tech company out there. It's not for another month, but it's something I really want. I'd hate to leave you, but I feel like I need this. I don't want to live in Colorado forever… let alone with my parents."

I nodded, completely understanding that. "San Francisco is so far away…" I trailed off, sighing. "I mean, who else is gonna watch Charlie when Owen and I get it in?" I smirked.

"That's what you guys do? I thought you were just taking a nap!"

"Yeah, because Owen and I nap that much." I rolled my eyes.

"I just thought that with a baby and all, you'd be exhausted… you know what, forget it. I don't even wanna… ew." he said, shaking his head. I just laughed and watched Charlie for a second before he spoke up again. "Hey, have you spoken to Claire recently?" he asked.

"No, but I actually wanted to, I should text her…" I said, wondering why he'd mention her so randomly.

"She told me about the Dinosaur Protection Group, it's pretty cool what she's doing," he said.

I nodded. "It is pretty cool."

"I saw on her Facebook that she's moving to San Francisco, too." he said. Then I realized that's probably why he mentioned her.

"That's cool, so you'll know one person at least. You could also meet Owen's buddy, but I don't think the two of you would get on very well." I said, chuckling at the thought of it. Yeah, that wouldn't work out well at all.

He pulled a face. "Why's that?"

"He's from the Navy and he'd probably call you a pansy. He might try to whip you into shape, though, so maybe that'd be good for you." I laughed.

"I'll stick to Claire," he laughed, just as Charlie started to cough. "That's my cue, gotta go." he said, getting up. I laughed and shook my head because he probably didn't want to see my nipple and that's why he wanted to leave so abruptly. I quickly covered myself up and held Charlie so I could burp her.

"Hey, Low…" I said, catching his attention before he left. "Why don't we go go-karting tonight and grab dinner? I'll have Owen stay with Charlie. We haven't had some brother-sister bonding in awhile." I said because it was true. With Charlie and all, it's hard to find time to do anything.

Lowery gave me a skeptical look. "Are you sure you don't wanna kick my ass in yet another thing and rub it in my face?"

I laughed. "I'll go easy on you this time, Low. Promise." I said, patting Charlie's back.

"I don't believe you for one second… but yeah, that'd be a lot of fun." he smiled.

"Great. Have a good time at the dentist, hopefully he won't have to yank out any teeth!"

"Oh, my nightmare. Don't even say that." he warned, then laughed. "Bye, you two."

"Bye Unca Lowey, love you!" I said in a baby voice that I use to pretend Charlie's talking… do any other mothers do that? Don't judge.

"Love you too, Charlie," he said, waving before walking out. "Love you Lise."

"Love you too Low!" I smiled as he walked out. I processed everything he said. If he moves out there, he's gonna be so far away. It's gonna suck that all of Charlie's uncles aren't close to us, but I can't make him feel guilty. He needs this. I understand not wanting to live in Colorado anymore, I've kind of been feeling the same way… but we've been looking for houses here, so I can't think about that right now. Moving to another state will just be too much right now. Maybe eventually we'll find the right place to settle down...


	19. Chapter 19

**Flicker of Life - Chapter 19**

**Summary: **Charlie gets really sick and has Alise worrying and stressed out to no end. When they figure out what's wrong with her and things settle down a bit, Alise decides to text Claire and see how she's doing, especially with the DPG. Claire asks for help from Alise and Owen and Alise more than willing to help, Owen's just going to take some convincing. His reaction to the whole idea is not a good one, leaving Alise shocked and worried about where to go and what to do next.

**Authors Note:** So I'm super shocked with how long this ended up being. I went into this story thinking 8 chapters at the most, but it just took off, kind of like Flicker of Hope did. The chapters in this story have been longer than the chapters in Flicker of Hope, so I've officially surpassed Flicker of Hope in terms of word count and page numbers, which is crazy to me. I hope you're enjoying this (which I would assume you are if you've made it this far and thank you for reading this far!)

This story is almost over, about 3 or 4 more chapters, but Alise and Owen's story is far from over - I have a sequel planned, but that's if I can get through this damn writer's block! Anyway, hope you enjoy :)

* * *

The next week was pretty rough. Both Charlie and Hunter had colds that lasted about a week and we think Hunter got it from his daycare and passed it onto Charlie. It was the first time that Charlie's been that sick, so Owen and I were pretty worried (me more so than him, but that's usually how it goes) and the doctor was on speed dial for almost everything.

Owen was helping with the shop most days, which I could understand because it was just 2 days away from opening and they needed help. I could handle Charlie when she's sick, although I was worried and stressed, it would have been nice to have him with me but he was going into work earlier so he could be home by 1 or 2, so that helped a lot.

She was eating less than normal and she wouldn't sleep much, but was also super tired and irritable, so that was a headache of its own. She started getting a high fever this morning and it's nearing 100 degrees. The doctor said if it reaches 101 degrees or lasts longer than a day that we need to bring her in. I was hoping, no, praying it didn't come down to that and that her fever would go away by the morning so I knew she was getting better.

I noticed she'd been tugging at her ear all day today and she would wail every time I put her down for a nap, even if she fell asleep in my arms, she woke up a few minutes later and started crying. Then she had pus coming out of her ear and I talked to Aspen because Hunter had the same problem about a month ago and it was an ear infection. (Hunter got better from his cold, which is really good).

We brought her into the doctor and she confirmed that that's what it was. Since she's only 3 months old, they needed to give her antibiotics and said it should clear up in a few days and thankfully, it did. I was super worried throughout the whole thing and Owen was there to reassure me it'd be fine. I couldn't help it when you're a mother and your baby is sick, you worry endlessly until their better. I know I'm not alone in that.

Finally, a few days after starting antibiotics, she started feeling better, but it took another few days for things to settle down and to get back into the same routine as before, which I was beyond thankful for. Plus, it was just 2 days before she turned 4 months and I wanted her to be happy for it. I was going to start feeding her baby food, but since she hasn't been feeling well, I wanted to hold off another week or so.

With the store open, I offered to help more with the retail side of things. Owen's job was basically done with the store - I can't imagine him working retail and helping customers. He vowed that would never happen and I'm not going to push him on that. I don't blame him, I don't necessarily love retail work, but if I can help my parents once or twice a week, I'm going to do it. Lowery was helping too, so we were both on the same shift on Saturday and let me tell you - working with him was a nightmare.

I almost clocked him a couple of times and my mom had to tell us to behave ourselves in front of the customers a couple of times before she told one of us to go home. I jumped at it, telling him I had Charlie to take care of and he couldn't fight me on that.

Needless to say, our parents didn't have us work together again after that.

I was alone with Charlie all day today because Owen was out helping Carl's friend with a construction project (his friend is a construction manager and asked for some help on a project), while my mom, Lowery, and Carl were all at the shops.

I just finished cooking lunch for myself, which consisted of a grilled cheese sandwich, minus the pickles, the thought of that makes me want to throw up now. I turned on the TV and searched through Netflix to find something to watch when I came across The Land Before Time, which was hands down my favorite series when I was a kid. I never stopped watching it. It made me think of Claire, who I was actually going to text, but it slipped my mind with everything that's gone on recently.

Me: _Hey Claire, it's Alise. Just wanted to see how things are going with you!_

She answered almost immediately, which was a little surprising.

Claire: _I've been pretty good actually. What about you and your family? I just saw on facebook that Charlie is now 3 months old? Time flies!_

Me: _I know, it goes by so fast! We're all pretty good, everyone's happy and healthy, so I can't complain. How are things with the DPG going?_

Claire: _Well the settlement money finally came through, so the plans are all set in motion. I'm moving to San Francisco and I'm going to find space there for the office. I can finally start the process of getting the licenses and whatnot._

Me: T_hat's great! I'm glad you're finally able to start getting it off the ground. Like I said before, I'd love to help in any way that I can, just say the word!_

Claire: _I was actually going to ask if you would help. Would you mind if I called you actually? It'll be easier than texting._

Me:_ Sure! Right now isn't a good time though, Charlie's about to get up from her nap and I have to feed her and it's hard to talk on the phone when she's up because all eyes have to be on her lol_

Claire: _I understand. What time would be best for you?_

Me: _Owen gets home around 6, or we could do after 8:30 after I put her down for the night._

Claire:_ 8:30 works perfectly. Text me when I can call._

Me: _Great! Talk to you soon :)_

Right after sending that text, I heard Charlie crying over the monitor and went to get her. Owen came home around 6:30 that night, which didn't really bother me all too much because I knew he was helping out Carl's friend and he actually left this morning around 10, so he got to see Charlie before work.

Charlie was in her Fisher-Price sit-to-stand activity center (the one that you put them in and they can bounce around and play with the toys attached) and I was sitting on the couch folding laundry. The second she heard Owen call "Honey, I'm home!" in a joking way in the hallway, I could see her eyes light up and when she saw him walk into the room, a huge smile crossed her face and she laughed.

"There's my favorite girl!" he said, walking over to her and getting her out.

"Hey!" I said, hitting him with one of his shirts like a whip.

"Sorry baby, I still love you," he chuckled, holding Charlie up in the air like she was an airplane, then bringing her close to her and attacking her with kisses while she screeched with excitement. I just smiled at them, I love watching them play together.

"How was your day?" I asked when they settled down and Owen sat on the floor with her between his legs as he showed her different toys that she immediately took and put in her mouth.

"It was pretty good, they actually want to bring me on to help with the project. I told them I can't work past 4, though, and they said that was fine."

"That's great!" I smiled, it was nice to see he was getting work and keeping himself busy.

"How was your day with this booger monster?" he asked, tickling her sides as she laughed. It was the cutest laugh.

"Filled with boogers, laughing and playing. I actually used that suction thing where you actually suck it out through a tube because it works better but I totally got her boogers in my mouth." I said, pulling a face at the thought of it.

"Oh, mommy's silly, isn't she, Charlie?" Owen asked, looking down at our baby as she played and nibbled on a plastic, squishy giraffe.

I rolled my eyes, but couldn't help the smile on my face. "I also talked to Claire today."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, but he seemed distracted. I just figured it was just because of Charlie.

"Yeah, she's doing well. She's moving to San Fran and getting the DPG off the ground. She actually asked for my help."

"What did she ask you to do?" he asked, looking at me for a second before looking back down at Charlie, who's little fingers were wrapped around his thumb as she continued to gnaw on the giraffe.

"I'm going to talk to her tonight after I put Charlie down, so I'll let you know." I said.

He nodded. "I actually talked to Barry today."

"Oh, that's great! How's he doing? He's living in France with Anya, right?" I asked, genuinely excited about it. I missed Barry, we haven't spoken to him in a while and that's because we were all just so busy.

Owen nodded. "Yeah, things are goin' pretty well for him. I told him we were moving soon and he said if we need a couple of extra hands, he'd be more than happy to fly over and help."

"That would be amazing honestly. I was actually worried about the moving process with Charlie." I said, letting out a sigh of relief at the thought of extra help.

"I was thinkin' he could stay with us for a couple of weeks when we move out."

"I think that's a perfect idea," I smiled as I heard the front door shut and the sound of my mom's voice. "Shh, don't tell my mom. I still haven't talked to her about it yet."

"Alise, you said you'd do that a week ago," he said, sighing. I could tell he was a little annoyed.

"I know, but then Charlie got sick. I'll do it soon."

"Alright," he said through gritted teeth while shaking his head. I could tell he didn't really believe me. I rolled my eyes as my mom walked into the room and greeted us and Charlie.

"I'm going to make some dinner, would you like to help me, Alise? I was thinking salmon and roasted veggies."

"Sounds delicious. I'll help." I said, folding the last pair of Charlie's clothes and putting them in the basket before kneeling on the floor.

"I love you, Charlie!" I said, kissing her forehead.

"Say, 'I love you mommy, but I love making you bald more!'" Owen said, laughing at Charlie, who currently had my hair in a death grip.

"Owen!" I exclaimed.

"What? It's Charlie!" he laughed as I tried to get her to open her hand.

"Well, don't encourage it!" I said, finally releasing my hair. "Thanks for the help." Owen just chuckled and I rolled my eyes. "Dick." I said, standing up.

"What was that, Charlie? Yeah, I know mommy's not very nice. She should stop calling people bad names in front of you, shouldn't she?" he cooed at her.

I rolled my eyes again. "You're still a dick!" I said, walking out of the room, ignoring whatever comment Owen was saying to Charlie.

"Everything okay, honey?" my mom asked as I walked into the room.

"Yeah, Owen just being a dick again," I said with a scoff.

My mom laughed. "What else is new?"

"Tell me about it!" I exclaimed and both of us laughed while she took the salmon out of the grocery bag. My smile faded slightly when I thought about telling her we were planning on moving out soon. I have no idea how she's going to take it, but I know she's not going to like it…

x x x

I finished cooking dinner with my mom and we all ate after that. Well, Owen and I ate in shifts while one of us played with Charlie. We haven't really had a sit-down dinner together since she was born. Not that I'm complaining too much, I'd trade that for her any day.

We stuck to the normal routine after that, Owen read her a book and then I brought her into the nursery, fed her and read her another book until she fell asleep. It was relatively easy getting her to bed tonight, I just hoped it would stay that way. Fingers crossed I didn't just jinx it.

I texted Claire around 8:30 and told her I was all set and Charlie was asleep and she called me not even a minute later. We had a little bit more small talk, catching up and seeing how she was doing. She was still with her sister in Madison and had a job at a Parks and Recreation as director, but it wasn't what she really wanted to do. It was just a job for the time being and I totally understood that. She said she was itching to do something more and to spread the message of the DPG, which is when we really got down to business.

"We were going to make a website, which I'm actually going to ask your brother to help with… but I think it'd be great if I could use your expertise on the dinosaurs from a paleo-vets point of view. I think a little blurb about yourself and your job on the island and your viewpoint on how you felt about them being part of a theme park and what not would be great."

"That's a really good idea, I'd love to do that! You want me to humanize the dinosaurs in a way so people can actually sympathize and empathize with them? Show that they're not these scary creatures like the Indominus?"

"Exactly!" Claire sounded excited, and so was I. We were both completely on the same page with this.

"Awesome. So I'll do that, when do you need it by?"

"Maybe the end of the week? I know it's busy with Charlie, so if you need more time I completely understand..." she trailed off.

"End of the week is perfect. I'll have it to you by then. Is there anything else I can do?" I asked, eager to help. Anything that gets me back in the game with dinosaurs, I was completely down for. I seriously miss the job so much, even after what happened.

"Yes, actually… I don't know how this will make you feel, but I was thinking maybe Owen could write something for the website about the animal behaviors, especially the raptors, something that's informative that'll also get people interested, especially the kids. If you guys have any pictures of them that you're willing to share too, that'd be great. If not, it's totally fine." she said. I could tell she was stammering a little bit and seemed a little nervous to ask. I would guess that she was nervous about how Owen would actually feel in all of this.

"I think that's a great idea. I'll talk to him about it." I smiled. I really do think it's a good idea and I really hope Owen would go along with it. It would be perfect.

"Great! Thank you again for your willingness to help."

"Of course! Like I said, I'm all for this cause. Any way I can help. I'm actually pretty excited for this! Anything else you can tell me about it?" I asked. Claire went on to tell me about what else she envisions for the website enthusiastically. It was nice to hear her be so passionate about something. I'm hoping I'll find that passion again soon.

We finished talking around 9:15 after I started yawning every 2 minutes because I couldn't help it. I was in a constant state of exhaustion, but what's new when you have a baby? I'm used to it by now. Overall, the conversation with her was really nice and she said she'd keep me informed about everything and I said I'd let her know when I talked to Owen about her idea.

I know he wasn't the biggest supporter of this, but I feel like that's because he doesn't fully understand or know all the facts. He was the biggest advocate for the girls and humanized them more than anyone. If he understands that's just what the DPG is trying to do, maybe he'd be more willing to help.

I also wondered if the incident with the Indominus just left a bad taste in his mouth about the dinosaurs… but then again, he still loved his raptors and rewatches the training videos of them all the time. Maybe he just doesn't want to remember. I wouldn't know unless if I were inside his head, and since I'm not, all I can do is hope he'll open up to me about it and at least tell me his viewpoint on everything. I just have to make sure I do it the right way.

x x x

I texted Lance to see if I could get his help on how I should approach this topic with Owen. He said I should definitely do it when there are no distractions, so Charlie should probably be asleep and when we also weren't tired. I figured that I could talk to Owen when we were having lunch because he had off today.

Lance has helped me a lot recently. We've been getting lunch a couple of times a week for the past 2 weeks and it's just nice to talk to someone who actually understands and can help me with what I'm going through. And it's not super formal like in an office, so it was a lot more relaxing for me.

I was out running errands and getting groceries this morning and got home around noon and Owen was making sandwiches for lunch after just getting Charlie to sleep. He made me a turkey and provolone (my favorite) and he has roast beef and swiss.

"How was Charlie?" I asked as we sat down at the kitchen table.

"She was good, had a huge blow out right after you left. All up her back," he said as he took a bite of his sandwich.

"Owen! Not while I'm eating, you dick!" I said, kicking his leg under the table. He just chuckled and took another bite, it clearly didn't bother him. I took a sip of water as I thought about how to approach the topic regarding Claire's website with him.

"So how'd that talk with Claire go last night? You were passed out last night when I went to bed I didn't have a chance to ask," he said, making it ten times easier for me to mention it.

"Charlie's the one that tired me out," I laughed. "But it was really good. She told me her idea for their website and she asked me to write something about working with them from a paleo-vet's perspective."

"That's cool." he nodded as he ate his sandwich. I was actually a little surprised he asked in the first place, but I didn't question it.

"Yeah, I have to write how I feel. Humanize them as much as possible, which shouldn't be too hard." I explained.

"You gonna mention when the Styg attacked you?" He asked seriously. I could tell by the way he said it that he was trying to make a point.

"No, that would be the opposite of the message I want to send out. She was just scared, Owen. It's fight or flight in that type of situation, you know that."

"I know. But they're still animals, Alise. You can't really humanize them. Don't know how you could after the Styg or the hybrid." he said bitterly, taking another bite of his sandwich.

My face fell and I felt my stomach drop. "Blue helped save you… save everyone. How can you not humanize her?" I said, my head down.

"Yeah, after she turned on me," he said, sounding a little annoyed.

"She was confused, they all were. They were taking orders from a human their whole life - from you. Then they had a dinosaur who could communicate with them, who put things in their head that wasn't true." I said, trying to think about how they might have felt in that situation.

"So you speak velociraptor now and you know what she was saying?" he asked, raising his brows at me.

I was a little shocked that he was getting wound up by this or even throwing that in my face, even though he clearly knew the answer to that question. "Obviously not, but that's why I think-" I started to say, getting defensive.

Owen scoffed, cutting me off. "Yeah, that's what you think. We're never gonna know what she said to them, but the raptors followed their instincts - their animalistic instincts and did what any other animal would have done and that's pick humans off one-by-one and threw away our relationship, or "bond" or whatever you wanna call it." he said as if it meant nothing.

"Of course they did what their instincts told them and yes, they're animals, but humans do the same thing if they're confused and scared…" I said, less defensive than I was before. Owen was staring down at his plate, not being receptive at all. I sighed. "I mean… they were your girls, Owen. You're being awfully dismissive about their feelings."

"Regardless of if they were my girls or not, they still turned on us. On me." he said, shaking his head and stopping himself from continuing on, "I'm going to work on the bike." he stood up and walked away towards the garage, leaving his half-eaten sandwich on the plate.

I let out a sigh. Well, that didn't go well, at all. Definitely not even the way I hoped for. It made me really sad and I hated seeing him react like that and I couldn't help but think I did something wrong. I tried to look on the bright side of things. He did open up about the situation and it seemed like he was finally getting his frustrations out, so I guess that's a start. The only thing is he's being super bitter and dismissive about it. He used to sympathize with them so well, but now not at all. Maybe Lance can shed some light as to why.

x x x

After I finished lunch and Charlie woke up, I had her in the Fisher-Price sit-to-stand activity center while I folded some laundry. It's been almost 2 hours since Owen started working on his bike. He came in from the garage right after I got Charlie up and I smiled at him, hoping he'd come in to hang out, but he just gave me a half smile and went to the bathroom. I just sighed and kept playing with her.

Right now, she was totally into all of the toys and mumbling to herself, but I doubted it would last too long. She always gets bored of it rather quickly, but it's nice when I have to do laundry or something when I don't want to put her in the wrap because sometimes she gets squirmy and I can't get much done that way either.

My phone started vibrating on the table and I saw that it was Aspen, so I answered.

"He-" I didn't even get a chance to greet her before she cut in.

"Alise, I found it!" she exclaimed.

"Found what?" I asked, really confused and pulling a face.

"The perfect house! It's a 3 bedroom, has the rustic-modern style you were looking for, open floor plan, and it even has a spa bathroom. It's literally perfect for you three. They haven't put it on the market yet, but it's way under asking price and it'll sell within days. Not to mention it's within 5 minutes of my house, but that's just the icing on the cake!" she said excitedly. It sounded like she was walking and I could hear the wind through the phone.

"Wow… seriously? I mean, we'd obviously have to see it first…" I said, a little shocked.

"Of course. I know you and Owen are off tomorrow, so I said we'd go over around 9am because I know that's right before Charlie goes down for a nap. You can just bring her with you." she said nonchalantly.

"I see you've thought all of this out…" I trailed off. I mean, I was trying to get my thoughts together.

"Yes, and you're going to love it! I mean, love, love it. I can't wait for you to see it!" she exclaimed, right as I started to hear baby babbling through the phone.

I laughed. "Is that the little man?"

"He's telling you, "Auntie, this is the best house ever. Charlie and I can have playdates all the time and we can go to the park and have so much fun"!"

I scoffed. "Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what he's saying. Tell him that Charlie can't wait, but we haven't even seen the place yet, so we don't even know for sure if we're going to get it."

"Hear that Auntie Alise is being a negative Nancy, as usual."

I rolled my eyes. "I am not!" I said, right when I heard Hunter start crying.

"See, you made him upset because you're not as excited as we are. Get excited, Crusty. It's your damn dream house."

"Don't blame this on me. And I'll believe it when I see it." I said simply.

"And you're going to believe it, missy. I gotta go tame the beast. I'll text you the address, see you tomorrow!"

"Alright, bye Assie," I said, hanging up the phone as I let out a sigh.

I couldn't help the knot in my stomach, this was happening so fast and it was a lot of pressure. I was expecting it to take months, not weeks. I couldn't help but think about the stress of moving with Charlie and also breaking the news to my mom. Then again, we haven't even seen the house. Aspen just might be excited about it because it's so close to her house. Maybe we won't even like it. I guess we'll see tomorrow.


End file.
